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Even the Masseuse is a Multimillionaire at Google

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the why-don't-they-all-just-retire dept.

PCOL writes "The NY Times is running a story on how stock options that have given an estimated 1,000 employees at Google a net worth of $5 million each affects the culture at Google. Google gives each of its new employees stock options, as well as a smaller number of shares of Google stock, as a recruiting incentive. The average options grant for a "Noogler" (new Google employee) who started a year ago was 685 shares at a price of roughly $475 a share which at last Friday's close would be worth $128,000. But employees say Google is different from other large high-tech companies where the day's stock price is a fixture on many people's computer screens. "It isn't considered 'Googley' to check the stock price," said one engineer adding that it is also considered unseemly to discuss the price with other employees. And the masseuse? In 1999 Bonnie Brown answered an ad for an in-house masseuse at Google "on a lark" and after five years of kneading engineers' backs, she retired, cashing in most of her stock options to travel the world, oversee a charitable foundation she founded, and write a book, still unpublished, titled "Giigle: How I Got Lucky Massaging Google.""

16 of 164 comments (clear)

  1. Sure by moogied · · Score: 5, Funny
    "Massaging" sure. Gotcha.

    *wink wink*

    Its cool baby, i'm not a cop.

    --
    So basically, -1 troll/offtopic is really slashdots way of saying "I hate that you thought of something before me."
    1. Re:Sure by UnknowingFool · · Score: 5, Funny

      Mostly likely they were just normal massages, but even if it were the other kind of massage it would only slight more repulsive. Have you ever massaged an entire company of nerds? I haven't and I shudder at the thought. I say she earned her retirement! :P

      --
      Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
    2. Re:Sure by jagdish · · Score: 2, Funny

      So does she uhh, you know, massage. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean? Say no more! Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat!

    3. Re:Sure by Mister+Whirly · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, but shouldn't the title really read "Happy Ending for Google Masseuse"??

      --
      "But this one goes to 11!"
  2. better title by circletimessquare · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Giigle: how Pure Envy powers nearly every startup in silicon valley, everyone reading this book, the NYT article, this Slashdot submission and this comment"

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
    1. Re:better title by russotto · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Giigle: how Pure Envy powers nearly every startup in silicon valley, everyone reading this book, the NYT article, this Slashdot submission and this comment"


      My envy isn't pure, it's alloyed with plain old fashioned avarice.

  3. Now, that's a happy ending by sjf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now, that's a happy ending

  4. Noogler? by MECC · · Score: 3, Funny

    They need stock options as an incentive if new hires are called 'nooglers' :-)

    --
    "We are all geniuses when we dream"
    - E.M. Cioran
    1. Re:Noogler? by somersault · · Score: 3, Funny

      It's even worse for those joining the Direct Information Group division, they're the digglers.

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      which is totally what she said
  5. new meaning by cthulu_mt · · Score: 3, Funny

    This gives new meaning to "massaging the data".

    --
    Virginia is for lovers. EVE is for griefers.
  6. DOH! by jav1231 · · Score: 2, Funny

    And to think I discouraged my daughter from becoming a masseuse because I thought guys would think she's easy!

    1. Re:DOH! by papasui · · Score: 1, Funny

      Yeah about that... Sorry

  7. Re:The next... by El+Torico · · Score: 2, Funny

    Their house of cards will come crashing too

    So, do you have a date? Vague predictions of doom aren't "actionable intelligence".

    --
    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is usually crucified.
  8. Word is... by mindwanderer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Word is she joined google after a massage-table-throwing incident.

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    :wq
  9. It is good to watch the stock all day...... by LibertineR · · Score: 4, Funny
    ....because when you have spent 29 out of 30 days in your office trying to squash bugs in the project to be released the following year called "Exchange", your marriage is kaput, your boss doesnt bathe, your car has mold growing in it, and you dont know what day it is, you can say to yourself- "Ok, my life currently sucks, but next year, I can buy a new one."

    Stock options keep you going when everything else is falling apart, baby! I stared at that little window for a straight 18 months, and LIKED it.

    Sure, Mountain View aint Redmond; there are actually more reasons to go outside, but if Microsoft had been giving out free food, I think I might have died under my desk, and my group manager just covered up my body and sprayed perfume on it until we shipped.

  10. Re:They're called massage therapists. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I don't get it, why would you massage a rapist?