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What If Gmail Had Been Designed by Microsoft?

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the thank-god-we-could-all-standardize-on-ie7 dept.

caluml writes "There is a humourous look at "What would happen if Microsoft had designed GMail". Gems include: "Another security measurement we'll add is that you won't be able to log-in with just username anymore but are required to enter the full username@gmail.com. Furthermore, we will change the browser URL from 'http://gmail.microsoft.com/' to the more professional looking 'http://by114w.bay114.gmail.live.com/mail/mail.aspx?rru=home'.""

22 of 279 comments (clear)

  1. Yahoo by pieisgood · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think they meant Yahoo.

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  2. Hm.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Another one of these eh?

    Sort of like if Microsoft designed the iPod box?

    1. Re:Hm.. by kestasjk · · Score: 5, Funny

      What if Microsoft had designed the train?

      What if Microsoft had designed anti-baldness cream?

      What if Microsoft designed a house?

      What if Microsoft designed the Katana?

      Can I get some AdSense money now?

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    2. Re:Hm.. by GuldKalle · · Score: 4, Funny

      Or what if Google was designed for google

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  3. the reason you have to put the @ by SirSmiley · · Score: 4, Informative

    The reason you put the username@hotmail.com is because there is also msn.com msn.ca for the ISP subscribers... hotmail.com hotmail.co.uk etc etc...would be rather limiting if you could only use your nickname and not have different domains......it is probably the worlds biggest web mail service...

    why is this news? slllooww news day

    1. Re:the reason you have to put the @ by wikinerd · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The reason you put the username@hotmail.com is because there is also msn.com msn.ca for the ISP subscribers... hotmail.com hotmail.co.uk etc etc

      So perhaps they should make it aware of the URL the user types in the browser... if I visit by typing msn.com and I login with the @msn.com email, but if I type hotmail.co.uk then my mail login will be @hotmail.co.uk

    2. Re:the reason you have to put the @ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Dear Consumer,

      We considered that, but then we'd have to add a set of radio buttons there that say "Use the same domain name as in the URL" and "Always use the domain name: ___", and then we'd have add a "Remember my answer (in a cookie)" checkbox, and then a *second* checkbox to ask if you want to remember the setting of the first checkbox. (I think most people do not realize how difficult it is to write good software.) It did get through testing but the marketing people complained it took too much space away from possible banner ads.

      In the end, forcing people to type "@hotmail.com" a lot isn't a bad thing: we're reminding them about our great brand. Whenever people spend time on Microsoft sites but thinking about cool brands we bought like "Hotmail" instead of losing brands we built like "Microsoft", that's a win for us.

      - Love,
      The Hotmail Team

  4. While funny ... by DerWulf · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I actually like the previewing pane in outlook XP. Emails are usually around three to five lines. Why should I have to open a new window or navigate to a new page for reading them?

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  5. Slashdot by the_Bionic_lemming · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hey, now that we had this, Can we have a "What would Slashdot look like if someone artistic designed it" Page?

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    1. Re:Slashdot by TheRaven64 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Forget artistic, how about a 'What would Slashdot look like if someone designed it' page?

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  6. You mean what if Gmail had been designed for... by defile · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The mass market instead of early adopters?

  7. Re:Slashdot gmail by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    More like: what if gmail were designed by slashdot?
    1) Strange, fixed "color" scheme;
    2) Cluttered, but oddly comforting and hyperconfigurable, user interface (except the colors);
    3) Random in-joke-based poll every 18 months;
    4) Almost usable search engine;
    5) People who want to contact you first email editors who then "approve" or "reject" incoming emails based on their personal taste;
    6) Arbitrarily assign other users to read your email and act as moderators;
    7) AC option gives spammers a fair shot (albeit at a lower mod base) -- don't forget to check AC before emailing something really stupid like this post;

    You know, it just might work!

  8. Re:Slashdot gmail by gEvil+(beta) · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't forget the "I am willing to test Gmail's new mail interface" checkbox that brings up a clusterfuck of an interface designed by a retarded 11 year old. Although, admittedly, it has improved since they first put the checkbox there.

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  9. Re:They have design a webmail site... by h4rm0ny · · Score: 5, Insightful


    Correct me if I'm wrong (as if people wouldn't), but doesn't the Gmail system scan your emails so that it can send you targetted ads? Doesn't that make taking the piss out of Microsoft's security a lot hypocritical?

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  10. blame marketing droids by owlnation · · Score: 4, Insightful
    To be fair to MS, they are only doing what most large Corporation do -- listen to their Marketing Department. Yahoo, eBay, many others, are much worse.

    This is a primary failing. One that Google, miraculously, seems to have so far avoided. Full credit is due.

    Marketing depts make two mistakes.
    1. (and foremost) They ask people what they want. They convene a focus group of a cross section of people, brainstorm and come up with a list of priorities. The issues with this being that most people don't know what they want, no committee ever came up with anything minimalist, functional or streamlined, and most people in a focus group are only statistically representative -- but not representative in reality.
    2. They have no understanding of pure Economics. They attempt to maximize revenue from everything up to the point that function is destroyed and satisfaction is lost. Thereby devaluing the product.
    Apple and Google are far more successful than many other similar brands. They value function and form. This is why they are successful. This why they have fanboys. It's not rocket science, all you need to do is fire the marketing droids out of the nearest airlock.
  11. What if.... by onosson · · Score: 5, Funny

    there were no interesting stories, so someone posted some tired microsoft-bashing article instead?
    Oh...

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  12. Re:They have design a webmail site... by ChrisMP1 · · Score: 5, Informative

    They scan your emails and show non-obtrusive targeted ads off to the side, whereas Hotmail floods your inbox with crap mail, obscuring the mail that you actually want to see.

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  13. Re:They have design a webmail site... by howdoesth · · Score: 5, Funny

    I guess, but doesn't Microsoft's hotmail system also "scan your emails" to put them into TCP packets?

  14. Re:They have design a webmail site... by Ash+Vince · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Doesn't that make taking the piss out of Microsoft's security a lot hypocritical? Not for those of use with long memories. I remember that at one point someone worked out you could log in to any Hotmail acccount just by changing the querystring. It did not ask you for a password. This was a collosal fuckup that never should have happened. Here is a link for those who have forgotten:

    http://www.news.com/2100-1023-230411.html

    Since I heard about this and followed Microsofts response I made a mental note to never get a Hotmail account.

    As for scanning my emails to show me targeted adverts I don't really mind this providing the information is not sold on to other companies.
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  15. Re:They have design a webmail site... by Titoxd · · Score: 4, Informative

    1998 called, and it wants its FUD back. Hotmail does ask you whether you would like to get newsletters; however, you can always click through that page, and you never get anything. I've used Hotmail for at least five years, and Gmail for a couple, and I've never had a problem with neither one sending me crap I don't like.

    FUD is bad, regardless of whether it is pro-Google FUD, or anti-Google FUD.

  16. Re:Developed not Designed by ToasterMonkey · · Score: 4, Interesting

    You have GOT to be kidding. Gmail has a clean, consistent DESIGN, with almost no images, other than a static "GMail" in the upper left corner.
    It brings me to my inbox, with a one line plug for their Google Reader service, and a one line text add for an IT service outsourcing company that's placed near the top of the site. I open an email, and color matched text ads span from top to bottom on the right, similar to a newspaper column. Only the content of the text ads change, not the color, shape, or location.

    For Yahoo, both new and classic bring me to some sort of welcome page with a 1x4" ad for their own search service titled "Top Electronics Search", and at least it matches the colors of the rest of the site. There's a big news widget thing in the center. To the right, there's a big f'ing RED, square, Bank of America credit card ad. On the left, the top and bottom of my Outlook-like directory are straddled by little, fugly, Win95 desktop icon-ads. "Bad credit? Card in 3 days", "Netflix Only $4.99/mo.", "Best SUV for Everyday", "Gold's Gym Free 7 Day VIP Pass".

    The NEW Yahoo Mail site warns that Safari is not a supported browser, click to ignore. It is cleverly disguised as Outlook, with ads. Moving right along, I click a mail in my inbox, the BoA ad disapears, and the right ad region resizes to allow a shit-you-not, blinking "Have You Checked Your Credit Score This Month?" ad that runs from top to bottom of the page.

    The CLASSIC Yahoo Mail site has a 'classical' giant, horizontal, animated ebay ad across the top, and in the same places on the left are more desktop-icon-ads, "See your credit score - free", "Netflix...", "Online Degree Programs", "Gold's Gym...", oh, and with a slightly different icon as the VIP pass, "Gold's Gym 7 Day Free Trial" It looks like a high schooler designed it.

    I'll take Gmail, fuck you very much.

  17. Re:They have design a webmail site... by Kattspya · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Are we talking getting spam in the inbox or getting spam in the spam folder?

    First address: 10 letters, not indexed by google. It has 348 mails in the spam folder I received about 4 spam mails in the inbox over the same time period (60 days)

    Second address: 8 letters, indexed by google. It has 459 mails in the spam folder and I received about 4 spam mails in the inbox over the same time period

    Third address: 8 letters with spam as a suffix, indexed by google. It has 0 mails in the spam folder and I received 0 spam mails in the inbox over the same time period.

    It would appear that the safest way to not get spam is to have an address with the phrase spam contained in it. The spam suffix address is also the one I've been most promiscuous with yet no spam at all is received.