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How To Beat Congress's Ban Of Humans On Mars

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the or-just-stop-spending-on-wars dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Earlier this year, the House of Representatives passed a bill that would ban humans on Mars at NASA: "Provided, That none of the funds under this heading shall be used for any research, development, or demonstration activities related exclusively to the human exploration of Mars." The bill is held up in Congress and the anti-Mars language may be taken out. But in case the Mars ban becomes law, the Space Review has a handy guide on how NASA can beat the ban and continue its research and development without breaking the law."

11 of 447 comments (clear)

  1. Congress? by rossdee · · Score: 5, Funny

    Somebody please tell congress that they don't have jurisdiction on other planets.

    1. Re:Congress? by Nossie · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Congress did not "ban humans on Mars". They stopped NASA's funding for a human mission to Mars and told it to concentrate on other things. Other nations, or private citizens of the US if I understand correctly, are free to shoot for it."

      Did you really mean that? I read it as:

      Congress did not "ban humans on Mars". They stopped NASA's funding for a human mission to Mars and told it to concentrate on other things. Other nations, or private citizens of the US if I understand correctly, they are free to shoot at.

      hmmmmmm :)

    2. Re:Congress? by amccaf1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well, China has a bigger army and Russia has more nukes. So...
      China and Russia, huh? Well, Mars is the red planet...
      --
      "Flag on the moon. How did it get there?"
    3. Re:Congress? by Dr.+Smoove · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yea stupid, just like insurance companies know if a patient "needs" medication better than doctors.

      --
      "If you plant ice, you're gonna harvest wind."
    4. Re:Congress? by SpecTheIntro · · Score: 4, Funny

      For a moment, we were worried that we didn't have your parliament's permission

      Only sissies call it "parliament." Its proper reference is "freedom council of freedom and liberty justice."

      America. FUCK YEAH.

  2. Martian cops patrolling for renegade humans? by Kohath · · Score: 1, Funny

    I hear Congress's Martian cops are really patrolling the Mars surface vigilantly. So watch out, humans.

  3. Re:Why? by oahazmatt · · Score: 2, Funny

    What's that you say? Oil deposits on Mars???

    --
    Those who believe the Internet is private,
    find their privates are on the Internet.
  4. Re:Hmm.... by Anonymous+Meoward · · Score: 2, Funny

    What is Mars trying to hide?

    Santa Claus, you dope.

    --
    --- The American Way of Life is not a birthright. Hell, it's not even sustainable.
  5. Easy! by jav1231 · · Score: 3, Funny

    How To Beat Congress's Ban Of Humans On Mars and NASA's Funding Thereof: 1. Get private donations to build your own spaceship! 2. Goto Mars! 3. Congress gets mad! 4. Fund NASA's manned mission to Mars to arrest you! 5. Congress 0WNED!

  6. HAL (via monolith) says no! by RamblinLonghorn · · Score: 2, Funny

    All these worlds are yours, except Europa. Attempt no landing there. Use them together. Use them in peace.

  7. NASA geeks need a how-to guide at last? by barocco · · Score: 2, Funny

    Here is how you can beat the ban of humans on Mars:

    Just go lobby the Congress into believing that the arid, Afghanistan-looking planet is a socialist state that painted itself all red, supplies illegal immigrants and exports products that could cause severe health problems. You don't even need to suggest it is in development of nuclear weaponry, once Mars gets the attention, any journalist looking for quick fame will release a "breaking news" that our spy satellites have found bomb testing sites. Not to mention the famous "they'll follow us home" scenario study with countless versions of simulations that can be slipped into the appendix section.

    Then in no time you will see some 250,000 men up on the planet automatically without NASA having to spend/ask for a dime.