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High Earning Spammers Face Tougher Sentences
netbuzz writes "More big-time spammers may find themselves doing longer stretches behind bars if a federal judge's first-of-its-kind sentencing decision in a Denver case becomes widely applied. In a sense, these spammers would be hoisted on their own profits, as language in CAN-SPAM allows the use of their profits instead of the difficult-to-measure financial damage they cause in establishing a prison sentence. The Denver spammer earned $250,000 — and a 20% longer prison stint — using this approach."
A few years ago, while hanging around the geek compound, I
had to take a piss. As I entered the john, cowboy neal walked out.
I stood in the hallway and nodded to him as he walked by. He grunted
and pointed to his beeper. Damn! too buy for a quicky.
As soon as he left I darted into the bathroom,
hoping there might be a lingering smell of shit and even a seat still
warm from his fat ass. I found not only the smell but the
shit itself. He'd forgotten to flush. And what a treasure he had left
behind. Three or four beautiful specimens floated in the bowl. It
apparently had been a fairly dry, constipated shit, for all were fat,
stiff, and ruggedly textured. The real prize was a great feast of turd
- a nine inch gastrointestinal triumph as thick as a man's wrist.
I knelt before the bowl, inhaling the rich brown fragrance and
wondered if I should obey the impulse building up inside me. I'd
always been a heavy rimmer and had lapped up more than one little
clump of shit, but that had been just an inevitable part of eating ass
and not an end in itself. Of course I'd had jerk-off fantasies of
devouring great loads of it (what rimmer hasn't), but I had never done
it. Now, here I was, confronted with the most beautiful five-pound
turd I'd ever feasted my eyes on, a sausage fit to star in any fantasy
and one I knew to have been hatched from the asshole of Neil Pater.
Why not? I plucked it from the bowl, holding it with both
hands to keep it from breaking. I lifted it to my nose. It smelled
like rich, ripe limburger (horrid, but thrilling), yet had the
consistency of cheddar. What is cheese anyway but milk turning to shit
without the benefit of a digestive tract?
I gave it a lick and found that it tasted better then it
smelled. I've found since then that shit nearly almost does.
I hesitated no longer. I shoved the fucking thing as far into
my mouth as I could get it and sucked on it like a big brown cock,
beating my meat like a madman. I wanted to completely engulf it and
bit off a large chunk, flooding my mouth with the intense, bittersweet
flavor. To my delight I found that while the water in the bowl had
chilled the outside of the turd, it was still warm inside. As I chewed
I discovered that it was filled with hard little bits of something I
soon identified as peanuts. He hadn't chewed them carefully and they'd
passed through his body virtually unchanged. I ate it greedily,
sending lump after peanutty lump sliding scratchily down my throat. My
only regret was the donor of this feast wasn't there to wash it down
with his piss.
I soon reached a terrific climax. I caught my cum in the
cupped palm of my hand and drank it down. Believe me, there is no more
delightful combination of flavors than the hot sweetness of cum with
the rich bitterness of shit.
Afterwards I was sorry that I hadn't made it last longer. But
then I realized that I still had a lot of fun in store for me. There
was still a clutch of virile turds left in the bowl. I tenderly fished
them out, rolled them into my handkerchief, and stashed them in my
briefcase. In the week to come I found all kinds of ways to eat the
shit without bolting it right down. Once eaten it's gone forever
unless you want to filch it third hand out of your own asshole. Not an
unreasonable recourse in moments of desperation or simple boredom.
I stored the turds in the refrigerator when I was not using
them but within a week they were all gone. The last one I held in my
mouth without chewing, letting it slowly dissolve. I had liquid shit
trickling down my throat for nearly four hours. I must have had six
orgasms in the process.
I often think of Cowboy Neal dropping solid gold out
of his hairy asshole every day, never knowing what joy it could,
and at least once did, bring to a grateful shiteater.
To me there is no greater crime than the one that involves planning and execution, breaking and skirting security measures, taking advantage of and defrauding thousands if not millions of people, and doing so with a sense of entitlement.
Holy shit are your priorities fucked.
Slashdot - where whining about luck is the new way to make the world you want.
...how can I put this tactfully... ah!
You're an idiot! An armed robbery resulting in people being shot and killed is MURDER! Capital murder at that! We're talking about Armed robbery. This is where a weapon is used in the commission of the crime of stealing from someone in person under THREAT of harm.
I have again been the victim of moderator abuse http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=366293&cid=21424075. MOD me up to correct this injustice. Mod me down if you think I am a moron. Of course, in the immortal words of PeeWee: "I'm rubber and you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you".
Too many moderators use Insightful as "I agree". Too many moderators fall for unoriginal groupthink and mod it up. People complain about trolls, but the REAL line noise on slashdot comes from the posts modded +4 or +5 that contribute NOTHING to an intelligent discussion. You can't filter that out, and even if you have your thresholds set high, you still see all the stupid stuff that you've already seen. That's why digg sucks and will never be anything but a place for 1338 high-skool haxx0rs. And it's happening here. So I used this account to call shenanigans on sucky posts. I getted modded into oblivion for pointing out truth. I guess that's how it goes. Most of you are a bunch of mindless sheeple.
You know, I once suggested that IQ tests be given to moderators to separate the wheat from the chaff. I think that wouldn't help. I kind of like having idiot moderators. MORONS! DOPES! Bring it, tubers!
It's not narcissicism if it's true!
So, when a lying cheat gets on the hook for "sharing" other people's works of art without permission with millions, Slashdot decries the ruling as "disproportionate to the actual damages" and moreover, that RIAA failed to demonstrate having sustained any damages.
But when a spammer is nailed in proportion to their rake instead of the "difficult to measure" actual damage, we are all cheers...
In Soviet Washington the swamp drains you.
Shit-fiiled, be any fucking