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Army Opens New Office of Videogames
An anonymous reader writes "For the first time, the Army has set up a project office, just for building videogames. The military has been training troops with games for decades, of course. But this is the first wing of the armed forces dedicated exclusively for gaming. One of the first projects: a tool kit that would let soldiers "build and customize their own training scenarios — just like the Marines' did, adapting Armed Assault for military purposes."
Terrorists are easier to defeat if you make the game yourself.
... Before these young impressionable kids are turned into trained killers!
"Oh my God, your tank just blew up my house! Why? In the name of Heaven, why???"
"Well, Mrs. Peterson, I'm afraid your little Johnny was spawn camping in America's Army III. We in the Army Office of Video Games take a might dim view of spawn camping, n00b-baiting, and all-around asshatery, and suppress such crimes by any means necessary..."
Lawrence Person (lawrencepersonh@gmailh.com (remove all "h"s to mail)
http://www.lawrenceperson.com/
Do they have a little "Mr General" that pops up?
It looks like you're trying to take that village. Instead of sending in troops on the ground, just call in an air strike to destroy everything. Don't worry about the civilians, their deaths are less politically costly than military deaths. If anyone complains, just say that it's the enemy's fault for hiding behind civilians.
Duke Numkem Forever is already installed in Area 51.
Remember though, Guns don't kill people. People, after years of careful molding using today's cutting edge technology, crisp HD graphics, motion sensing multi axis controls, high fedility sound, innovative gameplay, and a compelling story, kill people.
Don't worry, the government games are very specialized and should not overlap with commercial markets significantly.
I myself am part of a team developing a project bid. We call our title, "Soldier of Mercy."
It's basically a sensory-feedback training game. Our test subjects have found it very enjoyable, and I expect it will meet and exceed all the needs of our leaders. We hook the soldier up to a morphine drip, and the flow is increased based on the ability to "urge" a virtual suspect to confess. But it's not that easy! You have to be careful, for example, not to break bones or cause scarring damage, or else you'll lose points and the morphine flow gets cut!
You gradually build up an inventory of actually very simple components, like an air conditioner, a photograph of the suspect's daughter in the custody of Moroccan jail guards, a gallon jug of water (this is surprisingly one of the best ways to win), etc.
It's really a very innovative way to train soldiers... to teach them the proper way to behave in this post-9/11 world, get them over their old hangups, you know. I don't want to give away any more before it's finished! Anyway, this type of game really can't be sold in your average game outlet, and I can only really see it being handy for civilian psychologists trying to wean their patients off crippling pacifism.
Maybe this will set a trend in the industry and ensure games come out on schedule.
"Soldier, are done debugging that level yet? MOVE IT, MOVE IT MOVE IT!!!"
Several military R & R leave training simulators are under development at this time. One of my favorites: 'Weekend in Bangkok'.
Have gnu, will travel.