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Your Worst IT Workshop?

suntory writes "I am a lecturer at a Spanish university. This week had to attend a workshop on 'Advanced HTML and CSS' for the university staff. Some of the ideas that the presenter (a fellow lecturer) shared with us: IE is the only browser that follows standards; frames and tables are the best way to organize your website; you can view the source for most CSS, Javascript and HTML files, so you can freely copy and paste what you feel like — the Internet is free you know; same applies for images, if you can see them in Google Images Search, then you can use them for your projects. Of course, the workshop turned out to be a complete disaster and a waste of time. So I was wondering what other similar experiences you have had, and what was your worst IT workshop?"

113 of 497 comments (clear)

  1. Wow! by dada21 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I submitted this post in 1997 when I used the slashdot id suntory. I can't believe the admins are THIS slow. It still was a bad conference then.

    1. Re:Wow! by Pharmboy · · Score: 5, Funny

      At least it isn't a dupe.

      Yet.

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    2. Re:Wow! by indros13 · · Score: 2, Funny
      This has to be a Slashdot first: pride in having a higher userid.

      dada21 (163177)

      suntory (660419)

      --
      Under capitalism man exploits man. Under communism it's the other way around.
    3. Re:Wow! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Informative

      except Google wasn't around in 1997....

      nice troll

    4. Re:Wow! by dada21 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Thanks for making me feel like I've wasted 1/3rd of my years reading slashdot.

      Sad, but I do remember when I finally registered here (after months of lurking, I'd say), I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

      Wonder where they all went. Can't be jobs (have always had one). Can't be wives (been with the same gal for 12 years off and on). Can't be families (watch my mentally retarded BiL 4 days a week). Can't be sports (geeks don't play them). WoW maybe?

    5. Re:Wow! by Chris_Mir · · Score: 2, Funny

      It will be in 2017.

    6. Re:Wow! by johnw · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sad, but I do remember when I finally registered here (after months of lurking, I'd say), I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

      Wonder where they all went. If you get here really early in the morning and keep very, very quiet then you may just spot one.

      HTH
      John
    7. Re:Wow! by alta · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm here, my ID is pretty low. Since I got it, I got married, changed jobs twice, had two kids and opps, voted for Bush twice. This time I'm voting for Thompson, if he makes it that far.

      --
      Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
    8. Re:Wow! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I'm here, my IQ is pretty low. Since I got it, I got married, changed jobs twice, had two kids and opps, voted for Bush twice. This time I'm voting for Thompson, if he makes it that far. FTFY.
    9. Re:Wow! by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 4, Funny
      You've only changed jobs twice? Sheesh, I'm on job 17 since joining Slashdot.

      Hmmm. Seventeen jobs since joining /. Perhaps there's a correlation? :-)

      --
      It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
    10. Re:Wow! by HBK-4G · · Score: 5, Funny



      The low_uid is primarily a nocturnal poster, but can sometimes be coaxed into daytime efforts by a higher_uid making 'old man of the forest' claims.

      </david_attenborough>

    11. Re:Wow! by quantaman · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I doubt it. I registered sometime around 1999-2000, so there's no way that you got ID# 660419 by 1997. It was a joke,

      "IE is the only browser that follows standards; frames and tables are the best way to organize your website"

      Back in 1997 this may have been somewhat accurate (not sure about the standards though).
      --
      I stole this Sig
    12. Re:Wow! by Harmonious+Botch · · Score: 3, Funny

      This has to be a Slashdot first: pride in having a higher userid Not really. I just use my dada21 id when trolling.
    13. Re:Wow! by tjones · · Score: 2, Funny

      We're still here, just not posting like we used to.

    14. Re:Wow! by James+McP · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I know your pain. The email address on my account is fubared because the company it was attached to went out of business with no warning. It's not quite a classic catch-22. I can't change the email address without having access to the email address, but the mail server no longer exists so no one has access to the email address so no one can change it.

      Very irritating.

      --
      I've been on slashdot so long I'm starting to get out of touch with the cool stuff if it ain't on slashdot.
    15. Re:Wow! by crymeph0 · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Is the domain name for your old email address available?

      --
      It should be illegal to say that freedom of speech should be limited.
    16. Re:Wow! by ChuckleBug · · Score: 4, Funny

      We are everywhere. We watch, in silence, waiting for the right moment.

      What to do then, I dunno.

    17. Re:Wow! by Geoff · · Score: 3, Funny

      We're still here, though getting on in years. We check in occasionaly to mumble something about "kids these days"...

      --

      Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Pablo Picasso

    18. Re:Wow! by jaronc · · Score: 2, Informative

      I signed up an account in the early days before I really understood what slashdot was. Moved on and forgot the account details. I still remember spending time at the logon trying to get back into the account solely for the low userid :)

    19. Re:Wow! by Tom · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Pssst. :-)

      --
      Assorted stuff I do sometimes: Lemuria.org
    20. Re:Wow! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I've been lurking for 8 years, and I still haven't felt the need to register. Take THAT Mr. 4 digits!

    21. Re:Wow! by ghjm · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Even with 5 digits, you're still closer to me than I am to alta.

      -Graham

    22. Re:Wow! by Wolfrider · · Score: 3, Funny

      True, true
       
      // Watchin the game, havin a Bud

      WHAZZUP

      --
      .
      == WolfriderV6 == I'm willing to admit that *I just might* be wrong... Are you??
    23. Re:Wow! by Pharmboy · · Score: 4, Funny

      I'm sorry, did you say something? We were reading at +1....

      --
      Tequila: It's not just for breakfast anymore!
    24. Re:Wow! by kju · · Score: 2, Funny


      I felt like my UID was _really_ late compared to a lot of the 4-digits that were posting.

      Wonder where they all went.



      Sorry, can't help you with that question.

    25. Re:Wow! by hawk · · Score: 4, Funny

      Just keep telling yourself that, sonny.

      oops . . .

    26. Re:Wow! by sumdumass · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Oh, it was around. It was back rub for a while and Google.stanford.edu for a while. The google.com domain was registered in 1997 or so and it was moved there.

      I actually remember hitting the Google.stanford.edu implementation a few times. My ISP had a BBS that I used to connect with because I didn't have the Internet connection kit yet. That's what they called the early web browsers. They packaged the browser and some Compuserve 3 month trial thing and called it a kit. (windows still didn't have one stock at that time) The big search thing back then was aggregates like BigFoot where they presented you with what you wanted instead of doing a web search.

      Those where the days when the E-commerce buz meant a business having a single page web presence and a few email addresses they had to check on dial up. It was more like a page in the phone book but without a fancy way of finding entries. But that was when outlook did the mailbox thing and you could basically use it as a fetchmail server and an interoffice messaging system without needing exchange.

      Yea, Good times. the days when C: enter :## wasn't just a joke.

    27. Re:Wow! by Gazzonyx · · Score: 4, Funny

      Seriously, do you sub 10K ids have an IRC channel where they announce when and where an id war is going on? It's like someone starts a thread on ids and you guys have responded before the poster has even hit submit! I think everyone under 10K has a Chuck Norris complex or som(*&@*^... *Connection Reset By Peer*

      --

      If I mod you up, it doesn't necessarily mean I agree with what you've said, sorry.

    28. Re:Wow! by Phantasmagoria · · Score: 4, Insightful

      There are two possible explanations:
      (1) Most low-uid people have become lurkers. They read a lot but post little. I know this applies to me.
      (2) Nobody really looks at the uid of posters until a uid-war starts, so nobody notices the low-uid people unless there is a uid-war.
      I suspect it's actually a combination of the two.

      What have I done since I joined slashdot? Changed universities, changed a few jobs, changed a few girlfriends, changed a few psychiatrists, and also changed a few passwords. :-P

      --
      Loban Amaan Rahman ==> Anagram of ==> Aha! An Abnormal Man!
    29. Re:Wow! by masdog · · Score: 5, Funny

      Ranger: "Holy macaroni! I can't believe I'm seeing a 3-digit UID. He's in focus! Oh, I've waited my entire life for this moment!" *takes out gun*
      Bender: "What are you doing with that?"
      Lrrr: "You're going to kill this innocent Slashdotter?"
      Ranger: "Of course not! I'm just gonna tranquilize him so I can chop off his feet as proof he exists. Then dump him back in the wild. He'll do fine!"

    30. Re:Wow! by monsted · · Score: 2, Funny

      I sensed a disturbance in the force.

    31. Re:Wow! by pez · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Nor I.

  2. My personal worst by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I took the How to be the Web's Best Editor workshop offered by Slashdot. What a disaster.

    I submitted an article on it a few months ago. They posted it to the front page 3 or 4 times. Just search for keywords: bestt editer

    1. Re:My personal worst by myrdos2 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I was taking a University course on C++ and data structures. Big class, maybe 150 people in a theatre-like room. At the front of the room was a PC, connected to a projector so we could see screen. This was a Solaris system. The prof had emailed the lecture slides to himself.

      So to get the slides, he opens a terminal, and types pine. A big list of all his email fills the screen. He starts looking for his lecture notes... at which point some guy noticed one of his emails had the subject "Enormous Pussy". The prof stammered and said it wasn't what it sounded like, that's just a big cat one of his friends has, and his friend likes to send email with provocative subjects.

      At which point someone else saw an email called "Giant Beaver", destroying the prof's credibility.

      The lecture itself was great.

    2. Re:My personal worst by quantaman · · Score: 3, Funny

      at which point some guy noticed one of his emails had the subject "Enormous Pussy". The prof stammered and said it wasn't what it sounded like, that's just a big cat one of his friends has, and his friend likes to send email with provocative subjects.

      At which point someone else saw an email called "Giant Beaver", destroying the prof's credibility. Huh? What's wrong with a CS prof who likes pictures of animals?

      What? Why is everyone looking at me?
      --
      I stole this Sig
    3. Re:My personal worst by ISoldat53 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I had to fly 1800 miles to attend a party at the hq thrown for all of the field personnel to reward them for being away from home so much.

  3. Securing Voice over Internet Protocol by Lookin4Trouble · · Score: 3, Interesting
    Getting there was half the fun. Boston. January. 44 inches of snow.

    Then once I got there it was a week of "If you encrypt your traffic," (thusly losing the ability to QoS that traffic), "you only need to firewall your management boxes and vlan off all of your VoIP endpoints!" Cue the rest of the class firewalling off their management boxes from everyone else (including themselves) *sigh*

    1. Re:Securing Voice over Internet Protocol by SCHecklerX · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Actually that was the BEST presentation I went to! Oh, you weren't talking about Mike Lynn's "Voice Over IP" presentation at Blackhat a few years ago :-)

    2. Re:Securing Voice over Internet Protocol by Cally · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I was a Perl programmer (a proper one, not a CGI.pm monkey.) We got a new CTO. He liked Java. He sent us all on Java courses which, the instructor told us, were a waste of time as (a) we were all expected to be up to speed with the basics, which few of us were, and (b) because he'd been told to cover two weeks' worth of material in two days. I quit after lunch on the first day.

      --
      "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." -- Goethe
  4. Vendor Name? by securityfolk · · Score: 4, Insightful

    If you can, could you provide the name of the vendor who gave that course? I would like to avoid them at all costs :)

    1. Re:Vendor Name? by Lookin4Trouble · · Score: 3, Informative

      American Society of Professional Education. I refuse to link to them through the intellitxt ads here, so I'm not going to put up the acronym.

    2. Re:Vendor Name? by Intron · · Score: 3, Informative

      Not sure, but I think I bought this guy's book. The "for Dummies" book on CSS gives the same bad advice. I'll never buy a Dummies book again.

      --
      Intron: the portion of DNA which expresses nothing useful.
    3. Re:Vendor Name? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      If it happened in 1997, chances are very good they no longer exist. Problem solved. No cost.

    4. Re:Vendor Name? by Daniel_Staal · · Score: 2, Funny

      At least the name is truth in advertising.

      --
      'Sensible' is a curse word.
    5. Re:Vendor Name? by e9th · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, that would be "by Dummies."

  5. I was a co-facilitator at one... by sherpajohn · · Score: 4, Interesting

    with another member of the IT staff from the college I worked at, back in the early PC days. Think it was the fall of 89. It was a half day thing on a Saturday for PC maintenance. In those days power supply to the motherboard was tricky, my co-host found out the hard way when she hooked one up backwards and it kinda went boom when she powered it up.

    That was not quite as spectacular as the time a prof at the college hooked up two PC's via serial cables, one of them being on an AV cart (and plugged into it) - seems the cart was wired wrong, when he fired those up there was an small explosion, a fair bit of smoke and some actual pieces of the serial card from one of the pc's strewn about the case.

    Ah, the good old days - I worked on Tandy machines that had fully exposed power supplies, took one apart once (the PC not the power supply!) and wondered what the whirring sound was, thing was still running ;)

    Oh that I could go back to the day of swapping floppy disks to run stuff.

    --

    Going on means going far
    Going far means returning
    1. Re:I was a co-facilitator at one... by Amouth · · Score: 2, Funny

      we had a guy once that SOME HOW managed to shove a P8 connector into a wd hard drive with out realizing it, turned it on and went to the bathroom while it booted.. all i remember was sitting at the register checking someone out and seeing smoke coming from behind the tech bench.. walked over and the damn thing had caught on fire.... thank god they fired him a few years later...................

      --
      '...if only "Jumping to a Conclusion" was an event in the Olympics.'
  6. Let's go the other way by PHAEDRU5 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Since the difference between intelligence and stupidity is that there's a limit on intelligence, let's try naming the *best* conferences we've been to.

    I've been to OOPSLA a couple of times. Very enjoyable and informative. More recently, I just attended a "No Fluff, Just Stuff" conferences in Atlanta. Lots of good information, especially on Groovy and Grails.

    --
    668: Neighbour of the Beast
  7. It was an AskSlashdot by SleptThroughClass · · Score: 4, Funny

    It was an AskSlashdot session which was full of the worst possible examples.

  8. Not the worst for *me*... by Otter · · Score: 5, Funny
    We were getting trained on some desktop sharing / presentation software. The instructor was getting increasingly frustrated with one woman who couldn't seem to manage even the most basic steps. ("Click on the icon. No, the picture thing! Click with your mouse -- no!) Finally she gave that woman control of her own computer...

    **Whoosh**! The woman instantly tears into the instructor's hard drive like in one of those hacker movies and starts moving and deleting files! The instructor dived for her own laptop and yanked the Ethernet cable. I'm still not all sure what really happened there.

    1. Re:Not the worst for *me*... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

      "Those who can, do; those who can't, teach" - old adage that my PhD advisor used to repeat all the time ;) That adage is complete crap. Effectively passing knowledge on to students in a way that results in them actually learning something is nontrivial.
    2. Re:Not the worst for *me*... by Jherek+Carnelian · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Seen plenty of long-lived deadwood in the non-academic world too.
      I've always taken the meaning of that phrase to be that people who "can" get paid a lot more for "doing" than they would for teaching. So, rather than a barrier of entry, it is an incentive not to teach.

    3. Re:Not the worst for *me*... by littlerubberfeet · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Those who can, do.

      Those who can do more, teach.

      --
      Sig (appended to the end of comments you post, 120 chars)
    4. Re:Not the worst for *me*... by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Effectively passing knowledge on to students in a way that results in them actually learning something is nontrivial. And no one should know that better than programmers. I quote Douglas Adams:

      "There really wasn't a lot this machine could do that you couldn't do yourself in half the time with a lot less trouble," said Richard, "but it was, on the other hand, very good at being a slow and dim-witted pupil."

      Reg looked at him quizzically.

      "I had no idea they were supposed to be in short supply," he said. "I could hit a dozen with a bread roll from where I'm sitting."

      "I'm sure. But look at it this way. What really is the point of trying to teach anything to anybody?"

      This question seemed to provoke a murmur of sympathetic approval from up and down the table.

      Richard continued, "What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn't that true?"

      "It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils," came a low growl from somewhere on the table, "without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy."
      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
  9. I Don't Get IT Workshops, You Insensitive Clod! by Greyfox · · Score: 4, Funny

    However I DID have an IT guy tell me with a straight face that windows out of the box is more secure than any given Linux install out of the box. He backed down pretty quick when I suggested that we install both OSes on a machine connected to the open Internet, though...

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    1. Re:I Don't Get IT Workshops, You Insensitive Clod! by apparently · · Score: 2, Informative
      However I DID have an IT guy tell me with a straight face that windows out of the box is more secure than any given Linux install out of the box. He backed down pretty quick when I suggested that we install both OSes on a machine connected to the open Internet, though...

      What year was this? A few years ago, some linux distros had some pretty dumb default ports open. Likewise, Microsoft at least showed some sense in enabling the XP SP2 'firewall' by default. Not that I'm disagreeing with you, but a few years ago, an "out of the box" linux install was arguably just as bad as windows.

  10. HTML, CSS and Websites by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 4, Insightful

    While HTML and CSS are important to know still, I can't help but wonder how many people actually still build websites with HTML and CSS and Java and such? I stopped using plain HTML at least four years ago, when I discovered Content Management Systems (WebGUI back then, now using Joomla). I've built or helped build dozens of sites, all part time, using CMS, and most of my clients couldn't be happier. They have access to add content all day long, and don't have to worry about "design".

    If I went to a Web seminar like the one described in the story, and it didn't mention building sites on top of a CMS, I'd question the presenter and the company that paid for me to go. There is no reason that your average person needs to know HTML or CSS, as those should be handed over to DESIGNERS, people skilled with making things look good. If you want to see what it looks like when everyday people do design just go over to MySpace (akkkk).

    Just my $.02 (actual value subject to market forces)

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    1. Re:HTML, CSS and Websites by moderatorrater · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Your post really only applies to static html, which is not what most seminars are geared towards. If you're doing anything dynamic with a page, then doing the HTML and CSS by hand is almost always the best option. Using any WYSIWYG editor is going to give you shitty html that's nearly impossible to edit after the fact, and very few are able to work around code. I've had php CMSs that stripped out all the php and javascript in the files when it saved them, so customers or dumbass designers would use the CMS to change the design on a dynamic page and suddenly it's not dynamic anymore.

    2. Re:HTML, CSS and Websites by cbart387 · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Agreed.
      Designer creates the look of the website.
      Developer makes the site.
      CMS is only for editing the content section of an end user, only so the IT staff doesn't waste time doing content update.

      It's fairly infrequent that someone excels in both Designing and Developing a site (from my little experience at least).

      --
      Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
    3. Re:HTML, CSS and Websites by jddj · · Score: 2, Insightful

      The people implementing a CMS site need to know (X)HTML, CSS, etc. very well. The Java developers I've known (who implement the back-ends of the big CMSes) don't know HTML, CSS, et. al. any better than the apparent moron who presented this seminar.

      If there were a good seminar available that would help the Java guys pick up good HTML skills, the real problem would then be convincing them that it's a real, core developer skill (vs. "just for designers").

  11. InterOp by dave562 · · Score: 3, Funny

    While not exactly a workshop per se, it was the biggest waste of time. My employer basically paid for me to have people try to sell me stuff. Aren't the sales people supposed to be paying me for my time in the form of free lunches, dinners, blow and strippers?

    1. Re:InterOp by Quiet_Desperation · · Score: 5, Funny

      Aren't the sales people supposed to be paying me for my time in the form of free lunches, dinners, blow and strippers?

      Here in aerospace, we're not allowed to accept even a freaking mouse pad from a parts supplier.

      Which is probably best, because I'd totally be whoring myself out for meals and gadgets and, if the salesperson was a cute woman, whatever I thought I could get before getting slapped.

      "Yeah, sell me some FPGAs, bitch. Yeah, you like it when I talk like that, don't you? Tell me those gate counts again, you dirty, dirty girl."

      I know. I need help. :(

    2. Re:InterOp by dave562 · · Score: 4, Funny
      I know. I need help. :(

      Sounds to me like you just need $1000 and 24 hours in Vegas. ;)

  12. maybe no tworst but... by TheCarp · · Score: 2, Interesting

    I did attend a USENIX tutorial that was bad. Well maybe not bad in the grand scheme of things, and I liked the presenter, it sucks to have to slam him for this... however...

    It was, if I rememeber right, "Advanced perl CGI scripting", or the moral equivalent thereof. The point was... CGI, PERL, and Advanced.

    It began with a 3 minute speech about how thats what the tutorial used to be, but people kept signing up who barely, if at all, understood perl, and didn't know jack about CGI... so the tutorial had been severely dumbed down.

    After the morning session it became clear that I was going to learn nothing, and so I took the afternoon to find some better way to waste my time, since my employer wasn't getting any value out of sending me to that tutorial in any case, may as well get some value out of the time.

    Again, was too bad, it looked like it could have been cool, and the presenter certainly knew his stuff and could have given a better course. Its just well... lets just say, it looked like I was among the minority who left.

    -Steve

    --
    "I opened my eyes, and everything went dark again"
  13. Haven't been to many, but by Lightborn · · Score: 4, Insightful


    back in the Tivoli days I got sent to a 2-day class on how to use it. It was about totally worthless.

    I found out the next week that the class had cost $750, and I actually went into the CEO's office and suggested to him that next time they want me to know something, they pay me the $750 and I'd purchase and read the appropriate book. He wasn't especially amused.

    --
    My .sigs are not what they used to be.
  14. the fool - or the fool that follows him? by lawman508 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I've GIVEN some great, and somewhat bad talks in my day - every good speaker will tell you the same thing.
    Most of the bad talks were situations where I was asked to sub for someone - or an area where I "WANTED" to be an expert - but really wasn't.
    Many times, after a talk, I find that something I said was just plain wrong - it happens - to everyone - even the best speakers out there.
    They key is, as an attendee, to not sit around and waste time listening to a bad speaker. I just quietly walk out, picking up an evaluation form in the process, and making sure the instructor gets my feedback.
    As an occasional bad speaker - the best thing an audience member can do for me is to let me know if I have gotten it wrong! In the end, the only way tp turn a bad speaker into a good one - is through feedback - even if it is "YOU SUCK!"

    1. Re:the fool - or the fool that follows him? by postbigbang · · Score: 2, Informative

      I love the feedback scores. I try to achieve the best marks and usually hit the nail on the head.

      Then I went on a seminar series that had vendor sponsors. I got all top evaluation marks-- hundreds-- and only a rare 'good' instead of excellent.

      I was replaced on the next seminar tour by a vendor sycophant-- because the vendors had complained. His marks? Not so good. Did they replace him? Of course not. Sponsors fill the gas tanks.

      --
      ---- Teach Peace. It's Cheaper Than War.
  15. Fistfight by boristdog · · Score: 2, Funny

    I once attended a Windows 3.1 seminar back in 1994 where some jackass kept complaining that I sat in HIS chair (out of 300 identical folding chairs) after the lunch break.

    He was about a foot taller and at least 30 lbs heavier than me. I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt. He shut the hell up and apologized later.

    That's about all I remember from that seminar.

    1. Re:Fistfight by flaming+error · · Score: 4, Funny

      That was you? Let me apologize again.

      I had just returned from my Peace Corps stint in Ghana, and I was suffering from highly virulent dysentery. During lunch I discovered my containment garments had a rip in the seat.

        > I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt
      As soon as I saw you had symptoms, I decided it was too late to try and convince you.

      But you really should seek professional help. Sounds like you haven't gotten over it yet.

    2. Re:Fistfight by DarrenBaker · · Score: 2, Funny

      He was about a foot taller and at least 30 lbs heavier than me. Man, I hope he was at least 6'.

      I finally told him to shut the hell up or we could go outside and I would kick his butt. He shut the hell up and apologized later. I think I remember seeing a clip of that on Fox's When Nerds Get Kind of Pissy.
  16. Not my worst, but one of my best... by Pig+Hogger · · Score: 5, Funny
    In University, in a web design class. The teacher was demonstrating coding a page. As he was entring links into URLs, I start spelling "P-L-A-Y-B-O-Y-.-C-O-M", which the teacher dutifully typed. When he realized what he wrote, he backspaced over "BOY" and typed "GIRL", then went on with his demonstration.

    5 minutes later, by accident, he clicks on the link, triggering a cascade of pop-ups with naked men in front of the class, which was laughing it's lungs out...

    1. Re:Not my worst, but one of my best... by vlm · · Score: 2, Informative

      funny you should mention playgirl... They were an early "pioneer" in name based virtual hosting...
      A friend of mine left the company but left his vanity domain on our DNS server.
      So i resolve www.playboy.com and place the resulting IP address in my friends www entry for his domain.
      I verify the DNS is resolving to the correct address and never bother to see if my prank works.

      Well, turns out instead of the relatively mild and innocent playgirl page, which was only about as shocking as a cosmo magazine front cover, the default page for the server hosting playgirl, when accessed with an unknown URL, was some horrifying goatse like thing instead. Not the actual goatse, but pretty bad.

      I felt horrible, and he didn't talk to me for awhile, but looking back it was pretty funny.

      --
      "Science flies us to the moon. Religion flies us into buildings." - Victor Stenger
    2. Re:Not my worst, but one of my best... by stinkytoe · · Score: 3, Funny

      I remember watching UC Berkeley's webcast of their intro to computing class, CS61A. (i think it was fall of '02). Anyways, one of the assignments they did was an english to pig latin translator in scheme.

      He typed:
      '(cs61a is a great class)

      and got (something like):
      (acs61ay isay aay eatgray assclay)


      the class was laughing their ass off for a few minutes befure the prof. looked at his laptop and realized what exactly happened.

  17. Perl class by HW_Hack · · Score: 5, Funny

    This was a class offered internally by Intel --

    So this total propeller head who's teaching the class says "Perl is the easiest language to learn - very natural and logical syntax" ...... I lasted until the morning break - then went back ot my office to get some work done .....

    --
    Its not the years, its the mileage .....
  18. Re:IDIOT by orclevegam · · Score: 5, Funny

    I once had an instructor at an introductory level programming class (which I was required to take and they refused to let me test out of) try to insist that in C and C++ the int in the line:
    int main()
    stands for initialize. No amount of arguing with the instructor could convince him that it was declaring the return type of the main function as an integer. As it happens the instructor was also head of the computer science department. I spent the rest of that semester teaching the entire class after the instructor left because I felt bad for them. They all agreed I did a much better job than the instructor. I would have gotten a job as a teacher there, but they couldn't afford my rate.

    --
    Curiosity was framed, Ignorance killed the cat.
  19. sometimes training is not done for the training by wikinerd · · Score: 4, Insightful

    pay me the $750 and I'd purchase and read the appropriate book

    You are of course correct, but if you speak with some business people you will be surprised why some businesses (and even individuals) take courses and enroll their staff to workshops and training sessions. Sometimes training is done not in order to actually learn something, but only because of various external requirements (eg legal, or requirements imposed or recommended by professional bodies), obscure accounting motives, publicity or advertising reasons ("we spent a million in staff training last year!"), hierarchical or careerist reasons ("manager: I will enroll my staff in extensive training so that my boss can't use their lack of skills as an excuse to fire me for hiring incompetent employees" or even "I, as the training manager, must make everyone attend training sessions because it's good for making me more important within the company"), or sometimes even irrational psychological reasons ("if we lose, it won't be because we didn't try hard but because out training was useless, so it's the trainer's problem not ours"). Yea I know all this is completely anti-productive and irrational, but I have actually seen all this being done in dysfunctional companies (sometimes even required by external agencies or bodies).

    1. Re:sometimes training is not done for the training by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      I happen to prefer going to training classes because I can actually devote time to learning, instead of constant interruptions from work. If I can spend all day in a training session, then vegetate at night, it sinks in a lot better than trying to work all day and cram some facts in at night, while still worrying about the crap happening at work.

      -M

  20. Re:Blah... by speculatrix · · Score: 2, Informative

    many university lecturers get sent free books and gifts by publishers, the publishers hope that the lecturer will use it as the basis of their course, in theory if the lecturer has good ethics s/he will choose the best book for the job. However, they might curry favour with a particular publisher to get their own book into print, or might use a book written by a friend as a favour.

    When I was at university (too many years ago) some lecturers pushed very hard to get you to buy their book, making it clear that the notes from their lectures would be insufficient - those lecturers were usually a bit crap, coasting through the lessons and so meaning you just didn't have sufficient material to get through their exams - i.e they were able to avoid the hard work of preparing good lessons. Most lecturers were quite good, the books were supplemental, but if you took good notes and borrowed a book from the library you'd have fairly comprehensive coverage.

  21. Re:Blah... by cp.tar · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I'm attending a course on web design in my college this semester.

    The TA that's giving the lectures:

    1. allegedly copied those lectures from the lectures given by our academic research network (I was told that by a fellow student who took the course given by said network)
    2. once actually explained we could use <div> tags as line breaks
    3. teaches all kinds of utterly wrong stuff, including advising us to encode our work in Windows-1250 instead of UTF.

    However, two years ago I took a course given by a guy who told a friend of mine "Stop surfing the internet! Or else you won't know how to use Internet Explorer!" (yeah, it loses a bit in translation).
    He could spend two hours explaining how to navigate to a bloody webpage from IE 6. And then how to add a crappy link to whatever IE calls bookmarks.
    And when I said "could", I mean "did".
    Repeatedly.

    By the FSM's noodly appendage, I wish I was making this crap up.

    --
    Ignore this signature. By order.
  22. HP by Jethro · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was at a conference one time where an HP guy gave a lecture, and during the Q&A people asked why HP hasn't moved to 64 bit yet, like DEC had, etc.

    Guy got really mad and started pretty much yelling at people, saying that 64 bit has twice as many bits and is therefore half as fast as 32 bit computing.

    People didn't even bother laughing at him. Everyone just looked at him like he was an idiot.

    --


    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
    1. Re:HP by wikinerd · · Score: 2, Funny

      Everyone just looked at him like he was an idiot.

      like?

    2. Re:HP by Jethro · · Score: 3, Funny

      I seem to have misspelled "because". Oops!

      --


      In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is kinky.
    3. Re:HP by Chirs · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Actually, there was some merit in his reply.

      On many architectures the jump from 32 to 64 bits simply gives you access to more memory and lets you do 64-bit math somewhat faster. The downside is that all your pointers and variables of type "long" are now twice as long, which means that the app consumes more memory, more cache, more bandwidth, etc. This is why the standard mode of operation on a ppc64 machine is to have a 64-bit kernel with a userspace that is mostly 32-bit.

      On x86, when they added 64-bit support they also doubled the number of available registers and made some other instruction set changes, which generally compensated for the additional overhead.

  23. SOA by makellan · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I felt bad for the presenter of a two day course on SOA. No one told him that our business model revolves around building totally custom solutions that are rarely, if ever, allowed to talk to the open 'net. I finally explained this to him and he looked crestfallen. He asked the class (of engineers) and everyone agreed that we couldn't use any of it. A waste of time for all involved, costing many thousands of dollars.

  24. Question for the submitter by apparently · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Did you do the attendees a favor and correct the lecturer, or did you just let the misinformation run wild?

  25. PLC class by hjf · · Score: 4, Funny

    I went to this PLC (Programmable Logic Controller, that's industrial control for you computer geeks). It started OK, with some drone showing off Schneider Electric's new Contactor (the TeSys U, a "smart" contactor with a LCD display, over/under load protection, short-circuit protection,.. whatever). Later on comes this guy, making some really bad jokes and then laughing himself -- the rest of us just laughed at the way he laughed, he was really loud. So, he shows some PLC basics. All was fine...

    Next day he said, well, we're finished with the PLC stuff (actually we were finished with some really really bird's eye view of Ladder diagrams), now we'll see some SCADA. So the guy start showing this REALLY CRAPPY 16-bit app, and he showed ONE BY ONE every single widget (buttons, bar graphs, even some motors that changed colors to show when the output was running). And the library was H U G E. THOUSANDS of widgets. And he showed them "oh, look at how many of them there are! Just see how flexible this program is! See! We even have traffic lights! Buttons! Little trucks, big trucks, cars...".

    I went outside and came back in 1 hour, and the guy was STILL SHOWING the fucking widgets and how to place and connect them. Needless to say, I didn't stay.

  26. Re:IDIOT by whoever57 · · Score: 2, Funny

    once had an instructor at an introductory level programming class (which I was required to take and they refused to let me test out of) try to insist that in C and C++ the int in the line: int main() stands for initialize.
    My daughter took a course on C++ at the local community college. The last assignment required building a program that would run as a cgi on a Linux-based webserver. Prior to this point, everything had been Windows based. The instructor claimed in his notes on the assignment that the C++ code when intended to be compiled and run under Linux should start with:

    //#!/usr/bin/gcc

    Or some such similar nonsense.

    --
    The real "Libtards" are the Libertarians!
  27. CompuMaster "Mastering Java Web Applications" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    My experience with the CompuMaster "Mastering Java Web Applications" was disappointing to say the least. Anybody considering one of their courses should reconsider.

    1. Two ancient computers for 3 students. 933MHz P3 with 256MB of RAM running XP. It literally took minutes for the Java IDE we were using to load.

    2. Instructor was completely unprepared - we had to download the Java JDK over the hotels dog slow network and install it ourselves - taking up most of the first morning.

    3. The instructors idea of "teaching" was reading verbatim from the powerpoint and the ~50 page info packet we got. Any attempts to break him loose from that revealed that he was completely clueless.

    4. That 50 pages of material consisted mostly of step-by-step tutorials of the trained monkey variety (push a button, eat a banana) which were completely bug-ridden. And this is for a class which this instructor alone claims to have taught 6 times before.

    5. At the beginning of the class the instructor asked what we wanted to accomplish. I spoke up and said I wanted to learn how to set up a web service. With 2 hours left, I brought it up again - his reply was to find a section on web services in one of his big Java books, put it in front of me and say "here, look at this." I asked him point blank if he had ever set up a Java web service. No

    6. The class was 0900 to 1600 with a 1.25 hour lunch and two 15 minute breaks per day. So about 11.5 total hours of "instruction" for about $1200.

    Now, I didn't expect to "master" java web applications in two days. But I did expect to come away with a good feel for what they were, where to start, etc. I've taken other short courses on engineering subjects and have been generally happy with what we covered. But they were much more intense, focused, fast paced, and usually put in at least a 10 hour day. And the instructor was generally a recognized expert in the field. This guy did have all the certs though - he rattled off a whole alphabet soup list of them at the beginning of the class.

    On top of all that, the guy was a complete MS shill - but he always prefaced those statements with "I'm not a microsoftie but ..."

    All in all, a very disappointing experience.

    We did complain, and the company offered to credit our tuition toward another of their classes. Sorry, but my time is more valuable then that.

  28. Excruciatingly Boring by captainjamie · · Score: 2, Interesting

    In university I took a discrete logic course taught by a tenured professor who was one year away from retirement. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday he showed up to class, opened the textbook, and proceeded to read it to the class in the most monotone voice I've ever heard. There were over 100 students in the class and the average attendance was about 5. Despite the effort involved in keeping my eyes open, I went to nearly every class.

    There were two midterms that were each worth about 20% of the final mark. On midterm days everyone had trouble finding a seat. The best part was during the second midterm the guy sitting next to me turned to me and asked "So... like... when do we have to write the second midterm after this one?" When I told him that this was the second midterm and that he'd missed the first he turned as white as a ghost, put his head on the desk and started shaking. It made sitting through all those boring classes worth it.

    --
    I'm not dead yet!
  29. What's a double? by joecarst · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was in a training session where the 'instructor' was asked what a double was and he explained it was called a double becuase it held two variables. I almost walked out of the class.

  30. "Advanced" Email Workshop by ancarett · · Score: 3, Interesting

    The university for which I worked promised an "advanced" email workshop. Thinking that I might learn something halfway interesting or useful about the filing system or filtering or whatever, I signed up. After all, I act as my department's tech rep and have to keep up on things in order to counsel my colleagues!

    So I waltz into the computer labs one sunny August afternoon, ready for my "advanced" workshop fun. And what awaited me was the most painful IT experience of my life as the instructor walked us through the "advanced" complexities of logging in, clicking on subjects to read messages, clicking on buttons to reply or delete. We didn't even get to Reply All, CC or BCC, let alone folder, filters or the rest of the software options I'd expected them to cover.

    I asked why this was considered to be at an advanced level. The woman running the workshop said that this was as much as anyone needed to know about the system, really. That's when I tuned out and starting making some ASCII art to pass the time.

    --
    ancarett, historian and zombie gamer
  31. Topic: How Wonderful We Are by mkcmkc · · Score: 3, Funny
    Once I had a job at a Very Large Telecom Corporation and as a requirement of getting an email account, I was required to attend an e-mail orientation session, which consisted of a PowerPoint talk given by someone in the IT/Email dept. The speaker trumpeted the fact that prior to the procurement of their latest email system, each email had cost the company $1000 to deliver. The new system was much more economical--I don't recall the figure now.

    Needless to say, the talk contained no useful information at all.

    --
    "Not an actor, but he plays one on TV."
  32. Speaking of university... by KingSkippus · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I took the advanced C++ class at my university the first quarter after they made the class transition from Pascal. I had prior work experience as a C++ programmer, so I figured it would be an easy A. Boy, was I wrong!

    The professor was like 80 years old. He must have been around before they developed the one in binary and only had zeros. That in itself isn't so bad, except that he didn't bother to even crack the book to teach C++. He'd give examples and try to work problems on the whiteboard in some kind of pseudo language that wasn't Pascal, definitely wasn't C++, and that hopelessly confused the students who didn't have a really good grasp of the language. Oh, it gets better, though.

    His TA, the girl who graded our labs, knew even less. We had a lab where we had to implement a complex number class, ho hum. The instructions stated that we had to develop methods to do things like add, subtract, multiply, divide, etc. complex numbers, but they didn't explicitly state what we had to call our functions.

    Any C++ programmer worth anything would know that the obvious thing to do is to overload the +, -, *, and / operators so that they could accept complex number arguments and return the appropriate result. I spent a few hours working on it, churned out my class, and when I got the lab back, she had failed me!

    I asked why she gave me an F, and she explained that I was supposed to implement the functions using names like add, subtract, etc. I told her that that was nowhere in the instructions for the lab, and she admitted that it was okay to use other function names, but operator overloading was a no-no. Of course, I asked why, and her answer—I kid you not—was that because if you overloaded the operators, other programmers wouldn't be able to tell the difference between your class and built-in types. I argued vehemently that that was the point of operator overloading, that it was an extremely common practice in C++, but she wouldn't be convinced.

    It was toward the end of the semester, so I took the lab to my professor and explained to him what was going on. I even took a C++ best practices book with me to show what I was talking about and to prove that I'm not some crackpot stupid student trying to eek out a few extra points. The professor proceeded to explain to me that the university had just informed him that they were letting him go after the semester, that they were firing him. (His words exactly, not mine.) He said that if I had a problem with my grade, I needed to take it up with the TA, because he wasn't going to override anything she said.

    In all the programming classes I took at the university, that was the only one in which I got a B, and I was absolutely furious. Not so much because of the negligible impact to my GPA, but because it's the only time I've ever gotten a grade that I truly felt like I didn't deserve, and it was all because of an idiot professor who didn't give a damn about anything (gee, I wonder why they fired him) and a TA who didn't know crap about the subject that she was grading us on.

    It's too bad, too. All of my other experiences at the university were relatively pleasant, and I'm a life member of the alumni association today. But that one incident still sticks in my mind as the height of stupidity. I wish now that I had had the balls to escalate it to the dean or maybe even higher. I can't help but wonder how many students failed or otherwise did miserably in that class because of him, and I can't help but wonder if any of them gave up computer science because of that bad experience. God, I hope not.

    1. Re:Speaking of university... by bartle · · Score: 2, Interesting
      It wouldn't be college without at least one class like that.

      The bit of TA/instructor irrationality that I had to face came from an intro EE class, building basic logic circuits. The lab bits were based around groups and early in the class I grouped with a few other guys who seemed to know what they were doing. The TA came up and said we couldn't have a group of 4, it had to be a group of 3, so I was forced into a group with 2 other castoffs.

      By the following lab one of my group members had dropped the class and the other requested permission from the professor to rejoin her old group. So that left me in a group by myself. I asked the TA if I could rejoin my original group and he said that I needed permission from the professor. The result is that I had to get all the assignments in that lab done by myself while everyone else had a group to help them out; it was a stressful and miserable experience. The next time I saw the professor I asked if I could switch back to my old group and he replied that of course I could.

      On a final note, I can understand why an instructor might dissuade students from overloading operators. I've personally given up on it and simply always use named methods so I can clearly state what is happening with the parameters. But if they didn't want you to do that they definitely should have told you ahead of time.

    2. Re:Speaking of university... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      ...I can't help but wonder if any of them gave up computer science because of that bad experience.

      Actually, it sounds like this class was a perfect example of what life would be like in the real world.

    3. Re:Speaking of university... by jaxtherat · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, similar thing happened to me. I had a database luddite for a lecturer and he failed me for using temporary views to solve a certain problem as he'd rather I did subselects, even though my SQL was simpler to read, and scaled a lot better for huge datasets.

      As this was part of the final project, of course I failed the subject...

      The Ironic part was, my solution turned out to be be THE ONLY way to do some complex data mining in MySQL 3.something for my first IT job. Imagine the lulz that were had by my boss when he found out that the solution that got the CFO off his back was also responsible for me failing databases 1001...

      oh the humanity

      --
      http://www.zombieapocalypse.tv/
    4. Re:Speaking of university... by ConanG · · Score: 5, Interesting

      You think you had it bad?

      My intro CS "professor" was absolute crap. I was a freshman with no programming experience beyond BASIC when I was 10 years old. I routinely had to correct him, nearly daily in fact. Not because I wanted to be a smartass, but because I could see the puzzled looks of my classmates as he contradicted himself constantly.

      At first, I thought it was just a language barrier (he was Indian), but as I grew more skilled in the subject I realized he was just talking out his ass all the time. This led my and some fellow students to do some detective work on his credentials... where did he get his degree? We eventually figured out he was a big fat liar!

      He claimed to have taught at various universities (I remember Georgia Tech off the top of my head). None of them had heard of him. His Ph.D. turned out to be a mail-in degree from an online school. That was, thankfully, his last semester. Unfortunately, I fear he just got a job somewhere else doing the same thing.

    5. Re:Speaking of university... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Your solution was not the "obvious" one unless the majority of that 150 student course came up with the same one and failed the lab for the same reason. I assume they did not because operator overloading had not yet been covered in the course. So your solution was elegant, but in this case unconventional, and it's pedantic to argue otherwise.

      When people ask you to do work, they want results that make their lives as easy as possible. Your instructors care about you, but only in as much as it's convenient for them. Your TA wanted the same program everyone else produced because its hard to think about whether an alternate is equally correct - doubly so since she apparently didn't even understand the idiom you were applying. You might not have thought about this when creating your submission and so asking about it afterward wasn't a bad idea, but doing so in a confrontational manner was. You may think this unfair but in the end your instructors have long forgotten you and you've a B on your record. The lesson is that soft skills are often more important than technical skills.

    6. Re:Speaking of university... by dills · · Score: 4, Interesting

      That sucks. I had a different experience.

      My freshman instructor in CS50, the first class you take in CS, was a special guest instructor that year.

      I shit you not, I was taught C by none other than Brian Kernighan.

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Kernighan

      Hint: He's the "K" in "AWK". He helped Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie invent UNIX at Bell Labs. He co-authored "The C Programming Language", the very first book on programming in C, and widely considered by most to be the bible of modern programming.

      He was extremely fun and engaging, and I felt honored to be in the presence of one of the forefathers of modern computing.

    7. Re:Speaking of university... by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The lesson is that soft skills are often more important than technical skills.

      Have you considered a career at Microsoft?

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  33. I got you beat: by LibertineR · · Score: 5, Funny
    1993: "Lotus Notes: Why workflow matters"

    I swear to God, the first words from the presenters mouth: "That Exchange thing Microsoft is building is no threat to us, and here is why....."

    1. Re:I got you beat: by ConceptJunkie · · Score: 2, Funny

      And I bet the second sentence started with something like "We've adopted the latest in 1950's East German war-surplus software technology..."

      --
      You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
    2. Re:I got you beat: by blastwave · · Score: 3, Interesting

      I always wonder why so much traffic on SlashDot ( or web based public interfaces like this ) can be so confrontational. That was never my intention. I guess, yes, I defend the Notes development process after it got past version 3.x. Internally the first decent Notes was 2.15a and it still used a flat namespace. With Notes 2.15a a person could click on a link on a document and the client would go retrieve the linked to document from some other server and some other database if needed. That was pretty cool when NCSA Mosiac was just getting into the hands of people and Netscape did not yet exist. People could develop applications in a flash, with basic fields and then just drop it on a server and it worked. Debugging was sometimes horrible. Development of more complex applications required some real tricky knowledge at times. Version 3.0c ( a stack of floppies that I still have somewhere ) was a pretty decent revision and I made a ton of money with it. Version 4 was even better with the scripting ability.

      I was at camp Microsoft in 1997 meeting with the Exchange team as well as the early Microsoft Transaction server teams and I am happy to say that I got to meet some really brilliant people. Truely gifted software engineers and developers that impressed me completely. My host was Jeff Raikes and he made sure that the Lotus Notes team people were very well taken care of at a five star golf resort. It was pretty cool to meet a real software billionaire that got up every morning to go to work for another billionaire. He asked for input and he got it, straight from people that lived and breated Notes for years. I was one of those people that had to guts to tell him that Exchange was crippled in many ways despite the lavish hotel. I ended up with a few Microsoft people sitting with me on the plane and we all worked over a business issue and they went off to code it all up in Exchange. I did it in Notes in two days flat.

      So, to make a long story short, I defend the Notes process because it works very well. Today and yesterday going back years. I think that IBM has dumped their business units that can not longer show profit ( like PCs anymore ) and they are sticking with technologies that have real serious value longterm. I see Lotus is still in there and Notes just keeps on going and going. I stand by my words that in the event of a complete atomic meltdown there will be cockroaches, UNIX, Lotus Notes and Cher. Not necessarily in that order

      I'm sorry, but I think you were saying that Exchange was potential competition way back then. It wasn't. Still isn't. In my opinion.

  34. Did everyone read the instructions? Good. by jtownatpunk.net · · Score: 2, Interesting

    My worst one was an online 2k3 server admin class using a combination of gotomeeting and teamspeak. Supposed to be 5 8-hour sessions, one day a week. Before the class started, we were given instructions to install VMware, download their edu-licensed images of 2k3 server and XP, and perform a few basic steps to get them ready for class. Basically, set up a virtual network in VMware and configure the sessions. Minimum specs of broadband connection, 1 gig of memory, a P4 CPU, and XP were listed in the instructions.

    Nobody bothered to prepare. The first 8 hour session was pissed away with the instructor and tech support walking people through downloading, installing, and configuring VMware and the pre-packaged system images. I was flabbergasted. These people can't even follow simple directions. Nor could they follow the live remote session while the instructor walked through the process of installing the software and configuring it. "Click this then this then that and hit next." "I'm lost. Can you help me when you're done with Fred? Thanks." And by "help", they mean "do it for me".

    These "students" couldn't even install a frickin' application and they thought they were ready to handle running servers? That's like showing up at a cockfight with an egg and hoping people will wait for you to catch up. Nevermind the guy on dialup or the one with a P3/500 and 192 megs of RAM. Thank Jebus I was taking the "class" at home. I stuck my 2/3 full Heini keg in a bowl of ice and finished it off while watching movies and listening to the class session babble in the background.

    Oh, and there was the unix class with an instructor who didn't know unix. That was pretty lame. A student would sit at the class' VT100 terminal and test her material real-time. Nod if she was right, and she'd move on. If not, "Oh. Okay. I'll figure out the right answer after class.". Yes, I said VT100. With the green phosphor screen. What of it? (Actually, may have been any of the VT1xx terminals. I don't recall the specific model, just the shape and the fact that it was from DEC.)

  35. Re:IDIOT by cp.tar · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Hey, you had it great.

    A teacher does not by definition know everything; very often, teachers are wrong about stuff, too.

    A teacher who can stand being corrected is nearly a treasure to be cherished these days.
    Some of the teachers I've had have been patently wrong on come counts, blatantly unknowledgeable on others, yet would not accept any kind of correction, criticism or comment.

    I got my revenge by getting a high grade and writing a poor evaluation.
    Now if only those evaluations really meant something...

    --
    Ignore this signature. By order.
  36. Re:no, your a wannabe.. who never learned to code by Curien · · Score: 4, Insightful

    When communicating with other people, what words mean *to you* doesn't count for much. In the context of web content, static means unchanging _from the server's point of view_. Whether the client thinks the content changes or not doesn't matter. Flash is (usually) static content, for example.

    WebGUI has some support for dynamic content, but I'm not familiar enough with it to know how much (I'm thinking of the thing where it takes a SQL query and turns it into a table or whatever). But what the guy you were talking to meant, is that if you put a PHP script into the WebGUI edit box and save it, it just spits the PHP back when you request the page (static content) instead of *executing* it (dynamic content).

    I'm actually dealing with some pages right now where the content needs to be dynamically generated, but the original author wanted it integrated with WebGUI. So what does he do? He writes a ColdFusion .cfc which responds to AJAX requests, and he loads all of the dynamic data as JSON during onLoad, and then he uses DOM manipulation to add the information to the page. What a MESS!! All because he used a CMS for something it's not meant.

    --
    It's always a long day... 86400 doesn't fit into a short.
  37. Computers for Chemists by Resnikov · · Score: 2, Interesting
    I did a Chemistry Degree starting in 1996. In the first semester we were told all lab work must be typed up on a computer, printed out and handed in for marking. No problem with that, the Dept had 2 computer rooms for students to use and we all had accounts so we could use them.

    Roll on second semester, we look at our timetable and see a compulsory course with marked attendance called "Computers for Chemists". Hey we think this might be doing cool things with pc's (we were young and naive) but no. The first lecture starts with the Prof holding up his laptop and saying "this is computer" then he holds up his mouse and says (go on you can guess) "this is a mouse". It got worse after that.

    I didn't learn anything about computers in there but i did learn how to sleep sitting up in a lecture.

  38. Re:maybe not bratwurst but... by Blkdeath · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Got similar from the "Intro to C++" professor I had. "I'm now showing you an array, which the school doesn't want me to teach," he said. When queried why, it turns out that the morons that the "guidance counselors indicated had high computer aptitude" couldn't wrap their heads around a basic, simple array. We had OUR education dumbed down 'cause of some kid that shouldn't have been in the class to begin with.

    Oh you're telling me. In Ontario, Canada about 4 years ago we were using PII-400s with 4GB hard drives and 64MB of RAM to install Windows NT Server 4 as part of our Advanced Operating Systems course component. Suffice to say it took all class to format/install the OS. Then the instructor informs us that the next class's itinerary included formatting and re-installing NT so we could become more familiar with the installation routine.

    A few of us who were expecting to delve into Linux, Windows XP, domains, etc. at the time asked if we could divert and do some other activities or atleast explore the NT server we'd already installed and he told us no, he couldn't set up individual lesson plans for select groups so we'd have to follow with the rest of the class. So we all developed mysterious illnesses the next day.

    This class was an advanced component covering operating systems in an industry grade (and "industry developed") three year program and it listed no pre-requisites. Some of the people in our course couldn't even type letalone operate a modern PC - forget servers, switches, routers or the like - a word processor was fascinating and the rest of us had to suffer for it.

    Our Telephony course had a mid-term required 30 page (double spaced) report due on the history, present, and future of telephony (one could easily write 300 pages but I digress). So here I am busting my hump, dissapointed in myself for only managing 26 or 27 pages, which I hole punch and hand in in a nicely coloured duo-tang on the prescribed day and what do I see from my classmates? 2, 3 and 4 page reports with a staple at the top corner, pictures galore (lots of photos of Alexander Bell, pictures of old telephones, new telephones) and due to the overwhelming complaints of the students the teacher had to give these people 'A' grades. So 4 pages double spaced with extra wide margins and 25% images with huge headers printed with 30 point font get an 'A' which completely invalidated my 27 page hand-in.

    n.b. Our final exam in that class was open book in absurdia. Anything you could bring in on paper was allowed. If you could wheel a filing cabinet into the exam room it was permitted. The failure rate was more than 60% until the students whined.

    --
    BD Phone Home!

    Shameless plug. Like you weren't expecting it.

  39. Introduction to UNIX circa 1994 by Boawk · · Score: 2, Funny

    I worked for a corporate training company in the early 1990s. One client was moving from mainframes from UNIX and the unhappy employees were forced to train on UNIX or find work elsewhere. Naturally they took it out on the instructor. The worst was a guy who didn't touch type, but did all of his typing with the eraser end of a wooden pencil. The only thing more terrible than watching paint dry is watching the pencil-eraser-typing guy learn vi.

  40. C course at a TAFE in Sydney, Australia by syousef · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The lecturer claimed he'd previous been working in the industry developing embedded C code. After 15 minutes of him explaining that # directives are evaluated at runtime, I couldn't take it. I put my hand up and simply said "you're wrong. That's what the precompiler does". I had a reputation for knowing what I was on about (I was there for a qualification, not because I didn't know C). He went beetroot red. In hindsight I should have talked to him after the class and had him correct his mistake the next week, but hey I was a cocky 18 year old, and he was talking BS. He was a nice guy and was genuinely trying to be helpful. He just wasn't very good.

    --
    These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
  41. Re:Table Layouts are still essential by SKorvus · · Score: 2, Informative

    You mean like Apple, Microsoft, Digg, Yahoo, Mozilla, Adobe, and Download.com? Even AOL.com has a tableless layout.

    It's not necessarily easy, especially when dealing with IE quirks. But many complex sites have switch to tableless presentation.

    http://web2.0flow.com/top-30-popular-websites-are-not-using-tables-as-main-layout-structure/

    --
    Live simply, that others may simply live. -Gandhi
  42. Re:Table Layouts are still essential by Iaughter · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Well, one thing that was correct in the article: tables are still the best way to organise a html page. At least for relatively complex websites. There is absolutely no replacement for tables, when it comes to aligning elements to each other, both horizontally and vertically.

    CSS just doesn't cut it for relative positioning to multiple elements in a column. For simple layouts, CSS is great. It works, it looks neat, and is very maintainable. But as soon as you start needing a proper grid style layout, it just falls to pieces. There's no way that CSS can replace tables in that instance, unless you use absolute positioning and meticulously calculate the exact sizes and positions you want. But then you're left with a complete mess, much worse than using tables to begin with.

    As long as you keep the table as simple as possible, and use CSS to layout the simple elements, then it's still very maintainable. Just try to avoid using tables for every little thing, and the design is generally fine.



    Whoaaaa there. Why is this modded +5 insightful? The parent is completely wrong. Tables are not, at all, the best way to organize an html page. Why? Because that's mixing the appearance of the page with the content of the page. Once this happens, pages have to be individually maintained.




    It's true that CSS grids are hard.

    This is because they are so much more flexible than html tables for layout.

    There are a number of pre-existing, opensource css grid setups available (check out http://developer.yahoo.com/yui/grids/), if you don't want to reinvent the wheel.

    Also, one can absolute position columns by percentage of the page, which generally answers parent's fear of layout math.



    In general, the attitude of the parent is exactly what web professionals have been fighting for the past ... 6 years or so. It's disheartening to see people on /. agree.
  43. Serious question by remmelt · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Could you provide us with an example of a website that is too hard to do in CSS? I think that would argue your case more than "yes it IS still needed."

    I think people here assume you are cutting complex (non-rectangular) pics in pieces and putting them in td cells. This would be a bad way of implementing a layout, since it's easily placed in a div in its entirety, then positioned anywhere on the page. I assume you're aware of this though, and am interested in seeing a use of tables (outside of tabular data) that couldn't be solved with CSS/divs.