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Airport Profilers Learn to Read Facial Expressions

Posted by samzenpus on from the you-look-guilty dept.

nldavepc writes "There has been a rather scary development in airport security. Airport profilers are watching people's facial expressions for clues of terrorist intent. According to the article,"Travelers at Sea-Tac and dozens of other major airports across America are being scrutinized by teams of TSA behavior-detection officers specially trained to discern the subtlest suspicious behaviors.""

15 of 676 comments (clear)

  1. Oh Noes by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I think he just gave me a terrorist look!

    1. Re:Oh Noes by emilper · · Score: 2, Funny

      They will probably detain all passengers traveling via economy class for more than 4 hours per flight. If extended to railways and long distance bus routes, it would be probably more efficient simply to arrest everybody that attempts to buy a ticket: the new "ergonomic" chairs they use 'round here were made with 6 feet tall and 25 BMI white males in mind, and are probably the most important reason for the rise in SUV sales and of the suicide rate during the last 5 years.

  2. Note to terrorist self by Jawnn · · Score: 5, Funny

    Play more poker.

  3. New Buzz-Phrase For 2008 by blcamp · · Score: 4, Funny


    "Don't FACE me, bro!"

    --
    The problem with socialism is that they always run out of other people's money. - Margaret Thatcher
  4. Yeah, Right by Ed+Almos · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anyone seeing my facial expression as I pass through a US airport will immediately see someone pissed off at the delay, disruption and unbelieveable hassle involved with TSA controlled air travel.

    Ed Almos

    --
    The more corrupt the state, the more numerous the laws. - Tacitus, 56-120 A.D.
  5. Facial Profiling by WebmasterNeal · · Score: 2, Funny

    This sounds like a clear case of facial profiling. Where is the ACLU on this one!

    --
    "During My Service In The United States Congress, I Took The Initiative In Creating The Internet." -Al Gore
  6. Re:You - you and YOU! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mustang?

    Muskrat?

    Muskeg?

    Moustache. Moustache. Moustache.

    The more you read it, the wronger it looks. But it's moustache.

  7. Re:Could you speak up? by TheDrewbert · · Score: 4, Funny

    Apparently your "sarcasm detection officers" are on strike.

    --
    http://www.CelloFourteGroupie.net
  8. Easy by tgd · · Score: 5, Funny

    I pick the line with the female screener and just stare at her tits the whole time.

    1. Re:Easy by Jeff+DeMaagd · · Score: 4, Funny

      I pick the line with the female screener and just stare at her tits the whole time.

      This is the TSA. Those tits aren't very good. Even the TSA men have better tits.

    2. Re:Easy by ArsenneLupin · · Score: 2, Funny

      This is the TSA. Those tits aren't very good. Even the TSA men have better tits. So then, just look at those men's tits.

      The best way to avoid a thorough pat-down is to show them that you actually enjoy it. For some reason, the TSA screeners are really uncomfortable around gay passengers...

  9. Re:So ask yourself... by atomic-penguin · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're a constipated terrorist.

    --
    /^([Ss]ame [Bb]at (time, |channel.)){2}$/
  10. Where have I heard this before? by Minwee · · Score: 2, Funny

    The officers ask simple questions:

    "How are you today?"
    "Where are you heading?"
    "Is this all your property?"

    "It's almost irrelevant what your answers are," Maccario said. "It's more relevant how you respond. Vague, evasive responses -- fear shows itself. When you do this long enough, you see it right away."

    "You're in a desert, walking along in the sand when all of a sudden you look down and see a tortoise. It's crawling towards you. You reach down and flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over. But it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping."

  11. Note to self by e-scetic · · Score: 3, Funny

    Get botoxed before travelling.

  12. Re:It's the MUSLIMS, stupid. by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's why I'm training a terrorist cell that dresses as 19th century English gentry, resplendent in houndstooth caps and handlebar moustaches atop penny farthing bicycles.

    They'll never suspect a thing until it's too late. BWAHAHAHA!

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.