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Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated. It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out. Interestingly, they don't appear to use speech recognition to detect abnormal levels of swear words, but that could be due to their past difficulties with speech recognition. 'Physical responses aren't the only things that could trigger this event--taking an abnormally long time to complete a task would do so also--but the biometric aspect is certainly the most unusual. Is this patent a harbinger of a dystopian future where computer users' biorhythms will be monitored to increase efficiency? Unlikely. The idea, which was birthed at Microsoft Research, is simply a more advanced version of user focus group testing that Microsoft (and most other software companies) have been doing for years now.'"

20 of 223 comments (clear)

  1. Go figure by suso · · Score: 4, Funny

    Makes sense, I mean they are into complimentary products.

    Keyboard and Mouse
    Xbox and games
    Windows and this.

    1. Re:Go figure by Divebus · · Score: 3, Funny

      ...and millions of Vista machines suddenly explode...

      --

      Most of the stuff on /. won't survive first contact with facts.
    2. Re:Go figure by XenoPhage · · Score: 5, Funny

      Holy crap! MS figured out step 2!

      Step 1 - Create buggy, frustrating software
      Step 2 - Patent Frustration Detection!
      Step 3 - Profit!

      --
      XenoPhage
      Technological Musings
  2. I have my own. by AetasX · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can easily detect my frustration level based on which version of Windows I am using.

  3. whatcouldpossiblygowrong by wwmedia · · Score: 4, Funny

    HAL: It can only be attributable to human error.
    Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
    HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
    Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
    HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
    Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
    HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
    Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
    HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
    Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
    HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
    Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
    HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
    HAL: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

  4. Hey, guys by Digital+Vomit · · Score: 3, Funny

    C'mon, guys, let's just agree to let Microsoft have this one, eh?

    --
    Modern copyright is theft of culture from everyone and it retards the progress of the useful arts and sciences.
  5. In other news.... by Mechanik · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft has now patented Vista's User Account Control (UAC) feature as a "frustration causation system." Combined with the frustration detection/matchmaking service, they now have found a way to defer all responsibilities for support for Vista to the community.

  6. Yeah, this will end well. by oahazmatt · · Score: 5, Funny

    User pounds fist on keyboard.
    *pop*
    Clippy: Hi! Looks like you're pretty pissed off!
    User throws computer across the room.

    --
    Those who believe the Internet is private,
    find their privates are on the Internet.
  7. Clippy by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 4, Funny
    It looks like you're feeling frustrated. Would you like to:
    • Say bad words
    • Ctrl-Alt-Del
    • Reinstall operating system
    • Smash monitor and keyboard
    1. Re:Clippy by BiggerIsBetter · · Score: 3, Funny

      It looks like you're feeling frustrated. Would you like to:
      • Say bad words
      • Ctrl-Alt-Del
      • Reinstall operating system
      • Smash monitor and keyboard
      • Throw chair
      --
      Forget thrust, drag, lift and weight. Airplanes fly because of money.
    2. Re:Clippy by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 3, Funny

      • Throw chair

      That requires admin access.

      --
      Your ad here. Ask me how!
  8. Nothing new... by Abalamahalamatandra · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is nothing new, it's just the first phase of putting the WSYP Project into actual use.

  9. Clippy Says: by megaditto · · Score: 4, Funny

    It looks like you are reading Slashdot again.

    Would you like some help in getting back to work?

    --
    Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
    1. Re:Clippy Says: by Jarjarthejedi · · Score: 3, Funny

      A friendly paperclip is trying to give you advice on how to manage your life.

      Cancel or Allow?

      --
      There are two kinds of fool One says 'This is old therefore good' Another says 'This is new therefore better'- Dean Ing
    2. Re:Clippy Says: by ray-auch · · Score: 1, Funny

      wait... you mean this _isn't_ work ?!

    3. Re:Clippy Says: by TheLostSamurai · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hey, I'm compiling!

      --
      I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
  10. Re:Oh dear by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    Wait, that sounds like something else I know...

    Firefox?

  11. Popup dialog by DeVilla · · Score: 2, Funny

    You are either growing frustrated or you are having a heart attack. Shall I notify the administrator?

  12. In Related News by Greyfox · · Score: 3, Funny

    Apple has patented a smugness detection process. If you are sufficiently smug while using your Apple computer, the machine will now give you a pat on the back. if you are not sufficiently smug it will automatically shut down and install Windows.

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  13. So you don't need to read the patent .. by roguegramma · · Score: 2, Funny

    frustration= (OS =~ /Windows/i);
    return frustration;

    --
    Hey don't blame me, IANAB