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Microsoft to Spy on Employees
4T writes "Forget about monitoring your computers with spyware, now they're going to monitor the users as well!
'Microsoft is developing Big Brother-style software capable of remotely monitoring a worker's productivity, physical wellbeing and competence.
The Times has seen a patent application filed by the company for a computer system that links workers to their computers via wireless sensors that measure their metabolism. The system would allow managers to monitor employees' performance by measuring their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure. Unions said they fear that employees could be dismissed on the basis of a computer's assessment of their physiological state.'"
http://www.visar.com/AssistedSuicide.gif
anything like this?
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
Wait a second here... so this is being developed by Microsoft employees... FOR microsoft employees???? It's a wonder anybody still has any desire to work there.
I think Microsoft probably has hundreds of patents for things they don't ever intend to actually make, but just in case someone else does they want to be there to make a buck off of licensing. I highly doubt that they actually think this type of software would currently be accepted in today's climate, at least not unless they call it something innovative like "The USA Health-watch Patriot Software". I've found that its important to include the word "Patriot" in all aspects of your life, it really just gets you instant approval to do whatever you want!
Well, i'm off to use my iPatriot computer and drive my Patriot Chevy to the Patriot Meeting this afternoon. Come to think of it, thats probably why New England is winning so much, everyone else just needs to put Patriot in their team name!
"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." - Tennyson
Given how much my blood pressure skyrockets under the influence of Word, Excel, and Powerpoint, I'm not sure that MS really will want this data due to liability issues. If MS collects data that shows that MS products reduce the health and wellbeing of users, that makes MS more culpable for those products. Of course, IANAL so maybe a new "not responsible for user's health" section of the the EULA will cover MS legally.
Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
The check on metabolism could be useful. Someone could die in this office and nobody would notice for a week.
There's an easy way to game the system and get it to read out that you are functioning at near infinite productivity. The system is set to handle all motions that resemble throwing a chair as super-productive. I hear it is a zeroday that has to do with the model they used for peak effeciency.
I got a catholic block.
This reminds me of the chapter in Snow Crash that focuses on YT's mom's job for the feds. Federal employees have to constantly take lie detector tests and all emails have a suggested reading time. If the employee reads a note faster than expected, they're probably skimming and not taking in all the information. If the employee takes too long to read, then they're probably slow or distracted. It was a great chapter tucked into the middle of the book.
Reviewing just the first hour of video games.
So Microsoft will know if your heart races because you saw something you shouldn't have, because you saw something that reveals you know too much, and they'll know if you are trying to cover up your panic instead of exhibiting a "WTF is this?" response?
Hmmmm.
Reminds me of some bloke I heard about once. Winston, I think his name was. Got fed information about something he shouldn't have known about at work, so his employer tested him out by slipping him a photo showing a meeting that should never have taken place. Winston reacted with instinct instead of controlling his emotions, which were observed... which eventually led to his incarceration, torture, and psychological breaking. Once that had happened, he was done in.
Funny story. Maybe someone should write a book about it. Or make a film.
Shiny. Let's be bad guys...
For once, I'll be glad to give IT help to our female temps.
If you haven't made a developer cry, you've wasted a day.
... knowing about the functioning of my kidneys!
*yank*
Security-Central: Looks like we have a dropper again..
Monitor1: User death imminent.
Monitor2: OK, notify MicroMorgue to fire up the incinerator, and dispatch two lawyers to deal with the family members. Send the wife a complimentary vista discount cupon.
Monitor1: Wait, he moved...
Monitor2: HOLD, ignore that MicroMorgue order and get the lawyers back to the Antitrust dep. again.
Monitor1: Hes fine, great. Another buck saved, however Thompson in dep. 2 doesnt look entirely healthy.
Monitor2: Inject 1500 MG of Vitamin-C in Subject 7271 Sector 1G, cubicle 1235.
Security-Central: Injecting vitamin-C now, #1000001, (Blue Screen of Death)
Monitor2: What the He..?
Monitor1: Cr*p! The d*mn machine broke down during the vitamin-c injection.
Monitor2: Uh, oh.... Thomson is running around naked, and thats no joystick...
Monitor1: Run the backup servers and have him injected with 15 mg SleepWell 2000.
Monitor2: The backup servers are runnin Linux...
Monitor1: Were screwed!
What this world is coming to - is for you and me to decide.
Oh wait
I suggest you all note that the only words quoted from the patent itself were "unique monitoring system" and "heart rate, galvanic skin response, EMG, brain signals, respiration rate, body temperature, movement facial movements, facial expressions and blood pressure"... I strongly suspect that there is a less-than-honest reason that the author saw fit selectively edit the excerpts in those particular places.
You can leap to your paranoid conclusions based on nearly nothing, but I am going to go with the more reasonable, intelligent, thoughtful assumption that it is actually software to allow hospitals to more cheaply monitor patients using a PC-based solution--until I hear otherwise, of course. (Though I do think it reflects VERY poorly on most of you that you so willingly swallow whatever line the media feeds you.)
Google employees build things like gmail and calendar during the 20% time, MS employee decide to build an employee monitoring system. Talk about having to eat your own dog food. These employees are like the kid that always reminded your teacher on Friday to assign homework.
This is s sign that both employers and employees have bought into the hierarchal structure of business a little too much. The employer is hiring you to do a task not purchasing your mind, body, and soul. Yet all to often that's what they are given, so all too often that's what they expect. i.e. How often is a boss who is a complete dick called "sir" or "Mr." and treated with deference? Are Unions the only people left who really understand and act on the fact that the bossman needs the employees more than the employees need him? Yes, "employees" is plural on purpose.
My employer is quite right to monitor and judge the output and quality of my work, and when applicable to monitor how I effect the public image of the company and the work environment for my fellow employees. None of that includes my heart rate or my general state of health. I'm already being forced to contend with a nanny government, I don't need a nanny work environment as well.
We are all just people.
CAPCOM - GOLD
- Uh, Thirteen. This is Houston. Jim, we just had a drop out
on your biomed sensors?
JIM LOVELL
- I'm not wearing my biomed sensors, Houston.
CAPCOM - GOLD
- Okay, Jim. Copy that.
DR. CHUCK (FLIGHT SURGEON)
- Flight. Now I'm losing all three of them!
GENE KRANTZ (FLIGHT DIRECTOR - WHITE)
- It's just a little medical mutiny, Doc I'm sure the guys
are still with us. Let's cut 'em some slack, okay?
Unfortunately, 80% of the people seem to be unable in seeing subtle nuances. In fact, I doubt that subtlety or nuance is part of their vocabulary.
Of course, there is the 19% that does, but because they are the minority and generally express themselves in a subtle delicate and sophisticated manner, get ignored by the previous 80%.
Leaves us with 1% left. They have read the book and see the projected future as either inevitable or a great opportunity. And figure it is best for 99% of the population if they control this "gradual attrition of human rights via subtle nuances and ideals put in place by the powers that be". Which happens to be them in the first place.
It only takes one man to change the Wisdom of the Crowd to Tyranny of the Masses.
...and will this software be installed on their computers? To monitor their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure?
After all, "stress and frustration" have more serious consequences if they lead to bad decision-making.
How about generals? How about the Commander-in-Chief? Isn't their "productivity, physical wellbeing and competence" important?
Why do I somehow think that it is not going to be installed on any management machines... and that the stated rationales are pretexts?
"How to Do Nothing," kids activities, back in print!
As an endurance athlete with a freakishly low resting heart rate (42 bpm), I can tell you that every time I go to a new doctor they freak right the hell out around the time of my first physical. They tell me that I have an enlarged left ventricle and that I "obviously have heart disease"... Doc? Did you notice that I'm also about 5% body fat, have ripped legs, and a funny-looking tan? Yes. I'm an endurance geek. Yes, this fucks up your baseline.
When my heart rate is elevated due to office stress, it might jump into the 60s. This is going to screw with your readings.
Furthermore, isn't this more-or-less just a wireless polygraph where you're looking at data without asking questions? Where the hell is the accuracy in that?
blog |
1. monitor cardio and take turns visiting subject. The player achieving highest heart rate and blood pressure with the subject wins.
2. the same, but now you're only allowed to use the phone.
3. monitor keyboard activity. The goal now is to cause the longest possible pause without the subject leaving the cubicle.
The system would allow managers to monitor employees' performance by measuring their heart rate, body temperature, movement, facial expression and blood pressure.
I propose the Ballmer scale. All these measurements combined add up much as SpamAssasin rating system.
0.0. Normal state, even slightly happy.
0.1. Slightly upset, nothing to worry about.
0.2. Upset. Something's going on with this guy but he won't make it evident.
0.4. Angry. He's having a bad day, he'll be fine tomorrow.
0.6. Furious. Avoid when possible. Do not step in his way.
0.8. Very furious. Considered dangerous. Contact law enforcement immediately.
1.0. Berserker. Expect exploding forehead veins and mayor damage to company's furniture.
It looks like you're trying to kill yourself!
Would you like help?
* Get help with killing yourself.
* Just kill yourself without help.
O Show me this tip every time I start to show signs of optimism.
Did you even read the article? Line One: Microsoft is developing Big Brother-style software capable of remotely monitoring a worker's productivity, physical wellbeing and competence.. Which part of that "isn't intended for use in a work environment"?
You say:
"Everyone here trying to apply it to a regular 9 to 5 job setting is obviously going to get the wrong idea."
But then the article goes on (paragraph 3):
Technology allowing constant monitoring of workers was previously limited to pilots, firefighters and Nasa astronauts. This is believed to be the first time a company has proposed developing such software for mainstream workplaces.
we are getting just the right idea... of what kind of a hellish place this kind of system would produce.
I don't think an employer really wants this. It may open them to an interesting liability avenue.
Imaginary scenario:
John Smith is sitting at his desk, typing away at the report for tomorrow's deadline. His blood pressure and heart rate spike momentarily, then calm down. His left arm becomes slightly numb, but he thinks nothing of this. About 20 minutes later, he drops dead.
His family turns and sues Megacorp. Megacorp had access to his vital statistics, and should have noticed the warning signs that he was having a heart attack. Had the company acted upon these all-too-obvious signs, it would have saved John's life. The courts rule with Ms. Smith, and award damages of US$40M. Megacorp goes bankrupt.
Reid.out
The Right Reverend K. Reid Wightman,