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Giant Fossil Rodent Discovered

conlaw writes "According a report in today's National Geographic News, scientists in Uruguay have confirmed that a skeleton found by an amateur paleontologist is that of the largest known rodent. Based on the 21-inch-long skull, the scientists have concluded that the creature, who lived between 2 and 4 million years ago, was about the size of a full-grown bull, weighing in at slightly over a ton. Imagine encountering one of these guys in your cozy little cave!"

47 comments

  1. Rodents of unusual size? by Eevee · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't think they exist.

    1. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by llamalad · · Score: 1

      I admit it, your joke is better than mine.

    2. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by The+Rizz · · Score: 1

      Then why are you smiling?

    3. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      But are you left-handed?

    4. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by Misanthrope · · Score: 1

      I don't think that word means what you think it means.

    5. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by moosesocks · · Score: 1

      By any chance was it a 6-fingered rat?

      ....2 hours later....

      My name is Josephoartigasia monesi. You killed my species. Prepare to die.

      --
      -- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
    6. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by stefanlasiewski · · Score: 1

      Prepare to die.

      You succeeded 2 million years ago. Or did you forget?

      --
      "Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
    7. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      The scientific paper is available if you want to take a look.

      Who are you going to rely on for your large rodent information? The Dread Pirate Roberts or Proceedings of the Royal Society B? I'm sure the Royal Society can track *anything*.

    8. Re:Rodents of unusual size? by wolf68 · · Score: 1

      they have been know about for years they were in the movie Princess Bride. also they are in adventure quest RPG under the name B.U.R.P. (big ugly rat pest)

  2. In Pliocene-era Russia by llamalad · · Score: 0, Redundant

    In Pliocene-era Russia giant rodents unearth you!

    1. Re:In Pliocene-era Russia by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Imagine a beowulf cluster of these.

  3. That's no fossil rodent! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    That's Richard Stallman. Close though.

  4. well... by Hsensei · · Score: 0, Redundant

    I for one welcome our currently fossilized giant rat overlords.

    --
    ~
    1. Re:well... by PDX · · Score: 3, Funny

      The city of Washington DC was built on a swamp. They drained away all the water but the rats never left. They evolved into lobbyists....

      http://www.theonion.com/content/node/31923

  5. According to the HGttG... by Eric+Smith · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Ravenous Giant Rodent of Earth often makes a good meal for visiting tourists.

    (This entry may need to be updated in the next edition.)

    1. Re:According to the HGttG... by gardyloo · · Score: 2, Funny

      The Ravenous Giant Rodent of Earth often makes a good meal of visiting tourists.

          You were right: it did need to be updated.

    2. Re:According to the HGttG... by Provocateur · · Score: 2, Funny

      The last guy they did send to verify the facts was only able to send this much:

      "The Ravenous Giant Rodent of Earth often makes a good meal"

      and we never heard from him again. Ford, are you working on anything right now? Other than finishing your drink, that is.

      --
      WARNING: Smartphones have side effects--most of them undocumented.
  6. RouS? by User+956 · · Score: 2, Funny

    the scientists have concluded that the creature, who lived between 2 and 4 million years ago, was about the size of a full-grown bull, weighing in at slightly over a ton.

    inconceivable!

    --
    The theory of relativity doesn't work right in Arkansas.
    1. Re:RouS? by SSonnentag · · Score: 1

      "I do not think that word means what you think it means."

    2. Re:RouS? by Tablizer · · Score: 1

      slightly over a ton. [inconceivable!]

      Not really. EVERY living mammal most likely evolved from rodent-like ancestors. During the age of dinosaurs, almost all the mammals were puny.

    3. Re:RouS? by jd · · Score: 1

      According to various lists of giant fauna, the largest land-based mammal weighed upwards of 20 tonnes. The largest mammal that has ever lived is, of course, the Blue Whale, which is the descendant of a relative of the modern hippo. The cetaceans are unusual in that they are aquatic life descended from land life. The manatees are also descended from land life (they are relatives of the giraffe). I don't know of other examples. The contest for the largest rodent seems fierce, with competition from at least one other continent and the (at the time) giant island of Anguila, with rodents estimated as comparable in size to a grizzly bear. There may well be larger examples, as it seems clear the largest known (extinct) rodent is below the maximum size mammalian life supports.

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
  7. Top 10 things that R.S. and F.R. have in common by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    OK, ya gotta love RS, so this is just good natured teasing:

    1.Still waiting for giant rodent's vapor OS 2. Emacs keyboard layout based on ancient rodent thinking patterns
    3. Beady little black eyes
    4. Once taken seriously, now just an interesting historical topic
    5. Same ability to take input from others
    6. Upstaged by superior competitors
    7. HAIRY!!
    8. Evolutionary dead-end
    9. Makes women jump on a chair


    AND FINALLY.....

    10. Both MIT graduates !!

  8. Giant Fossil Rodents? by rueger · · Score: 3, Funny

    Honestly, some of us are really tired of the endless coverage of the US election primaries. Especially the Republicans of which you speak...

    1. Re:Giant Fossil Rodents? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I don't think you deserve to be a troll. I'm laughing . . .

    2. Re:Giant Fossil Rodents? by Cheapy · · Score: 2, Insightful

      See what I don't understand is this:

      Is it a giant Fossil Rodent? I thought they turn to fossils after they die, not before.

      Or is it a giant rodent fossil?

      --
      Would you kindly mod me +1 insightful?
    3. Re:Giant Fossil Rodents? by SpaceLifeForm · · Score: 2, Funny

      I think it's a Giant Fossil. I'm curious as to
      who this lifeform called Rodent is that discovered it.

      --
      You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
  9. What are we going to do tonight, Brain? by msauve · · Score: 2, Funny

    The same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the world!

    --
    "National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
  10. Well.. by Indes · · Score: 1

    Are these related to the rodents of unusual sweetness??!

    1. Re:Well.. by jamesh · · Score: 3, Funny

      there is no way i'm clicking on a link labeled "world'o'frats"!!!

    2. Re:Well.. by daeg · · Score: 1

      I dared to click the link, and my brain died a little from the bad puns. Thanks a lot.

  11. How does this compare with... by jd · · Score: 1

    ...theo other giant rats, such as Amblyrhiza Inundata from Anguila?

    --
    It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
    1. Re:How does this compare with... by Jonathan_S · · Score: 1

      ...theo other giant rats, such as Amblyrhiza Inundata from Anguila?
      Well, (according to wikipedia; use appropriate grains of salt) the Amblyrhiza Inundata grew between 50 and 200 kg, and according to the linked article (yes, I must be new here) this new giant rodent was believed to be 1000 kg.

      So quite a bit bigger than the Amblyrhiza Inundata.
    2. Re:How does this compare with... by jd · · Score: 1
      Sodium salt, potassium salt or lithium salt? You're right, that's what the wikipedia page says, but the analogous sized animals used to compare the rodents with modern life (a grizzly bear versus a bull) would seem to be far closer than the x5 - x20 difference that the given masses of the rodents would imply, hence my confusion. Either one (or both) analogies is way off, or the relative masses were far closer together.

      I guess the other point of confusion is that Amblyrhiza Inundata was credited for being large because it was on an island and mammals (generally) are believed to get larger in island environments. South America is no island, so either the theory of islands is incorrect OR South America had some truly weird characteristics, making it viable for a rodent to grow large anyway. However, I've seen nothing to suggest South America had anything particularly abnormal about it. The biodiversity, predetation, etc, seem to have been fairly typical, which would in turn seem to make it a Really Bad Place for oversized mammalian life. Obviously, the giant rodents lived there, and where facts contradict theory, one should never change the facts to suit the theory, only the theory to suit the facts. But which theory is the theory that's wrong?

      --
      It's a small world and it smells funny; I'd buy another if it wasn't for the money; Take back what I paid (SoM)
  12. damn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Tough to even find a hardware store where I can get 7000 glue traps, and they better be on sale.

  13. Think of the music! by Tr3vin · · Score: 3, Funny

    Imagine the music you could play with those things, that is if you could find a mallet that was large enough.

    1. Re:Think of the music! by aproposofwhat · · Score: 1
      WHOOOOSH!

      (mods duck as one of the more obscure Python references this week makes a fly-by)

      Nice one!

      --
      One swallow does not a fellatrix make
  14. I, for one... by gmuslera · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... say goodbye to our old giant rats overlords.

  15. History repeating... by Loibisch · · Score: 1
    This tells us tales of a past long gone, mostly "don't fuck with the genepool of labrats or our civilization, too, will come to an end just like 2 to 4 Million years ago".

    Or to quote the lyrics from "Propellerheads - History Repeating":

    "The word is about, there's something evolving,
    whatever may come, the world keeps revolving
    They say the next big thing is here,
    that the revolution's near,
    but to me it seems quite clear
    that it's all just a little bit of history repeating.
    " Just a scary coincidence? I think not!
  16. Finally... by slider3618 · · Score: 1

    I get to build a better mousetrap !!! Ummm, a bigger mousetrap at least.

  17. The land to water transition among mammals by 1336 · · Score: 1

    "The cetaceans are unusual in that they are aquatic life descended from land life. The manatees are also descended from land life (they are relatives of the giraffe). I don't know of other examples."

    Manatees are NOT close relatives of the giraffe. The closest aquatic relatives of the giraffes are, again, the cetaceans.

    The land to water transition among mammals isn't terribly uncommon though:

    manatees are Afrotherians, closely related to elephants (see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afrotheria)

    seals, walruses, sea lions and other Pinnipeds (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pinniped) are carnivores related to bears and dogs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caniformia)

    sea otters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sea_otter) are marine weasels

    Other mammals show distinct adaptations towards an aquatic lifestyle, e.g. rodents like the capybara, muskrat and beaver

    an extinct ground sloth (http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v375/n6528/abs/375224a0.html)

    the monotreme platypus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Platypus)

    the marsupial yapok (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_Opossum)

    if you go past mammals, you have penguins (which 'fly' underwater), sea snakes, the Galapagos marine iguana, and the various giant extinct marine reptiles

    etc. etc.

    If there's success to be had in a given lifestyle, life will evolve branches in that direction.

  18. giant rodent? by kevin.fowler · · Score: 1

    I can't tell you how many of these things I had to grind to get to level 5.

    --
    Bury me in mashed potatoes.
  19. Richard Gere by jameskojiro · · Score: 1

    When news of this reached him he put on a really big shit eating smile.

    --
    Tsukasa: All I really want, is to be left alone...
  20. Re:Found in unusual place by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Where's the "Hot cup of Brim / Fill it to the rim / and stick it in your butt" line?

  21. Video of the fossil by Rysc · · Score: 1

    Clip showing the actual find:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOU8GIRUd_g

    --
    I want my Cowboyneal
  22. Re:Found in unusual place by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Truncation due to lameness filter and poster laziness. :( A few other random lines are missing, too.

    Glass-half-full types could view this as an opportunity for the adventurous reader to discover a hidden treat, though!

  23. Elementary, my dear Watson by unitron · · Score: 1

    What, no "Giant Rat of Sumatra" jokes yet?

    --

    I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.