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Star Trek-like 'Phraselator' Helps Police
coondoggie writes "Yet another Star Trek-like device is making its way into the real world. VoxTec's Phraselator name sounds a bit like something the Three Stooges might have used long ago but no, this PDA-like device was developed through Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) for use in Afghanistan and Iraq by American soldiers for communicating with locals who spoke Farsi, Dari, Pashto and other languages. It is now being used as one tool to help keep the peace between English and non-English speakers by police departments in California, Florida, Nevada. In a nutshell the $2,500 ruggedized Phraselator runs an Intel PXA255 400mHz processor that supports a built-In noise canceling microphone, a VOCON 3200 Speech Recognizer, 1GB removable SD card, 256MB of DRAM Memory and 64MB Flash Memory. It can store up to 10,000 phrases."
"I thought she was asking for sex, turns out she just wanted directions to the 7-11. Oopsies!"
Sure baby, I'll give you my phone number...in Hex
My hovercraft is full of eels
Citizen: Someone's planted a bomb in there!
Phraselator: "Somebody set up us the bomb."
Soldier: What you say!!
Hm, Sounds like the DARPA version of the babelfish. now if only it could be placed inside everyone's ear
It included the processor and the clock speed, just what do you want???
The reason they're not using it in all major cities is simple,... it won't translate jive . So it's useless in the ghetto,... I guess we'll still have to look for little, old, white ladies that speak jive!
Aliens: "Bak Bak, BaBa Bak Bak, BAK BAK BAK"
Translator: "We come in peace, we mean you no harm!"
"See? They mean us no harm!"
-- You are in a maze of little, twisty passages, all different... --
Now the police can safely ignore the Spanish equivalent of "Don't tase me, bro"!
WHAT?? Let me explain. What this means is that the guy who wrote the comment is the owner of a hovercraft, and he's complaining that it's full of eels.
Terrorists can't threaten a country's freedom and democracy. Only lawmakers and voters can do that.
Todos son de su base nos pertenece
Toutes vos bases sont nous appartiennent
Ihre Basis sind gehören zu uns
Al uw uitvalsbasis zijn bij ons horen
Tutti sono la base appartengono a noi
Toda a sua base são pertence a nós
Just because it CAN be done, doesn't mean it should!
Or better yet, they could just use a simple, inexpensive megaphone. Because everyone knows that if you just speak LOUDER and LOUDER, eventually you will reach a volume where the non-English-speaking person will finally understand you!
My truck is like a series of tubes.
DON'T PHRASE ME BRO!
Jenny's got a new number! 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
What the hell is a noise canceling microphone?
i can imagine the translator going off at odd times,
Police: "Freeze!"
Criminal: "No mi gusta las fresa! No el tase yo!"
Phraselator: "I don't like strawberries, you can't appraise me!"
If only you could harness the power of awkward silences...
>> a VOCON 3200 Speech Recognizer :-)
A VOGON 3200 speech recognizer? Don't the Vogons use Babel Fish like the rest of us?
Translation of "AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH" from other common languages:
Russian: "You are correct, I should not have been reading that book, comrade."
German: "I apologize for being too Jewish, and will now board the crowded yet impressively prompt train."
Canadian: "Oh darn. Iced the puck again."
Japanese: "I believe the voice actress for my favorite anime is making an appearance nearby."
French: "My cheese!" or "You appear to be trying to add a non-French word to the French language", depending on context.
American: "It appears my Tivo did not record this week's episode of Lost."
Mandarin: "Hello."
"Australian": "Crikey, look at the size of that stingra--"
Jamaican: (nobody has ever heard this phrase from a Jamaican)
Anybody left I didn't offend?
...like all translation devices up to day:
Police: Ok Stan, this is a dangerous situation but our new Phraselator 4000 will deal with the situation, just talk into the mike:
Stan: Everything will be just fine, just drop your weapons.
Phraselator 4000: Every Bill be Your time, you topless weapon.
Terrorist: Allah will punish you, infidel!
Phraselator 4000: Allah will puke you, insurance!
Stan: (looks at the other officers and talks)
Stan: This is your second and final warning, drop down your weapons - NOW!
Phraselator 4000: Piss is your semicolon and finally warm, top down groove you weapon - HOW?
Stan: I don't think this is working, sir...
Phraselator 4000: I don't think, piss is lurking, sir...
Stan: Will you shut that useless piece of cr*p down!!
Terrorist: In soviet russia - camel piss on you!
(*everyone fires their guns, Phraselator 4000 has saved the day - once again*)
What this world is coming to - is for you and me to decide.
You must have gone through a lot of interpreters.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
Nothing is impervious to my soldering. I can destroy anything.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
Do they really have their own dead Jim?
Ahh, but you still have the problem of pronunciation, which Americans find impossible.
How we know is more important than what we know.
French: "My cheese!"
French: "Quick, my emergency white flag!"
Ha and I'm French so somehow you can't mod that flamebait!
You just got troll'd!
I just nuked everyone I could. I'll let you guess which civilization I chose.
That's it! I've had it with these motherfucking eels on this motherfucking hovercraft!
Escher was the first MC and Giger invented the HR department.