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Bizarre Self-Destructing Palm Tree Found

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on from the this-message-will-self-destruct-in-100-years dept.

Smivs writes "A giant self-destructing palm tree has been discovered in Madagascar. The palm is 20m (60ft) high with leaves 5m (16ft) long, the tallest tree of its type in the country, but for most of its life — around 100 years — it appears fairly unremarkable apart from its size. However, when it flowers, it puts so much energy into an impressive flower-spike, that it eventually collapses and dies. Dr John Dransfield, who announced the tree in the Botanical Journal of the Linnean Society, is baffled as to how it came to be in the country. It bears a resemblance to a species of palm found in regions of Asia; 6,000km away. It is thought that the palm has gone through a remarkable evolution since Madagascar split with India some 80m years ago."

19 of 190 comments (clear)

  1. From the article by snl2587 · · Score: 3, Funny

    The plant is said to be so big it can be seen on Google Earth

    Given that in most areas I can see individual cars on the ground, I'm not too impressed...

  2. captain obvious by drkoemans · · Score: 5, Funny

    if it is a coconut palm, it was probably carried there two african swallows and a piece of string.

    1. Re:captain obvious by techpawn · · Score: 1, Funny

      It's a simple weight ratio! A 5 oz Sparrow can't carry a coconut!

      --
      Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what your country did to you
    2. Re:captain obvious by Bugs42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      1. Flubbed a Monty Python quote
      2. Has a girlfriend

      You're on thin ice, man. Next you'll be telling us you played sports in high school, and you spend your Friday nights "out" (whatever the hell THAT means) instead of upgrading to Linux kernel version 2.6.23.141592653589793238.

      --
      Programmer: an ingenious device that converts caffeine into code.
    3. Re:captain obvious by vikstar · · Score: 2, Funny

      You're on thin ice, man. Next you'll be telling us you played sports in high school, and you spend your Friday nights "out" (whatever the hell THAT means) instead of upgrading to Linux kernel version 2.6.23.141592653589793238. Score yourself to see how much of a nerd you are, give yourself...
      +1 point if you noticed his linux kernel version has PI in it,
      +1 point if you checked if his PI was correct against wiki,
      +10 points if you can automatically see if his PI is correct from memory,
      +50 points if you can continue with more decimal places from memory.
      --
      The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
  3. Bizarre Self-Destructing Palm Tree Found by j.sanchez1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Bizarre Self-Destructing Palm Tree Found

    Ah...the new Britney Spears model.

    --
    Speedy thing goes in; speedy thing comes out.
  4. This tree has the wrong name.... by zappepcs · · Score: 3, Funny

    "A giant self-destructing palm tree [CC] has been discovered in Madagascar. The palm is 20m (60ft) high with leaves 5m (16ft) long, the tallest tree of its type in the country, but for most of its life -- around 100 years -- it appears fairly unremarkable apart from its size. However, when it flowers, it puts so much energy into an impressive flower-spike, that it eventually collapses and dies. Dr John Dransfield, who announced the tree in the Botanical Journal of the Linnean Society, is baffled as to how the it came to be in the country. It bears a resemblance to a species of palm found in regions of Asia; 6,000km away. It is thought that the palm has gone through a remarkable evolution since Madagascar split with India some 80m years ago." This should have been called the Valentines Palm Tree, then we could blame it existence on early biology R&D engineers at Hallmark, because we ALL know that evolution is ONLY a theory and this tree/plant can't be more than about 10,000 years old.
    --
    Support NYCountryLawyer RIAA vs People
  5. Re:Nothing to see here, move along by WormholeFiend · · Score: 5, Funny

    It may, however, be among the largest and the first to use gravity to kill itself

    What about lemmings?

  6. Missing word... by rd · · Score: 5, Funny

    "is baffled as to how the it came to be in the country"

    Looks like they left out fsck in the middle.
    1. Re:Missing word... by smokejive · · Score: 3, Funny

      Yeah, surely a simple 'fsck /dev/hdtree' would help them here...

  7. Cool! A Minnie Driver/Anne Hathaway love scene! by Impy+the+Impiuos+Imp · · Score: 5, Funny

    No wonder this is a Slashdot story pick. People around here are very familiar with palms and reproductive spikes.

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    (-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
  8. It's actually an annual by jbeaupre · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's more bizarre than they think. It's really just an annual plant, with its year based on Uranus.

    --
    The world is made by those who show up for the job.
    1. Re:It's actually an annual by Drooling+Iguana · · Score: 2, Funny

      So you think they just pulled its age figure out of their ass?

      --
      ... I'm addicted to placebos
  9. Re:Wrong vendor by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    Shouldn't it be the Iomega tree? Hrm? No, they'll be naming it after one of the scientists who discovered, Dr. Daniel Nay. It will be called Nay Palm.

    --
    My blog
  10. Re:Nothing to see here, move along by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Myth! Myth!

    Yeth?

  11. Re:Nothing to see here, move along by Decameron81 · · Score: 3, Funny

    What about lemmings?


    Lemmings are not suicidal, they are just optimistic: they are sure you're going to put that floor in time.
    --
    diegoT
  12. Inspector Gadget by deadeye766 · · Score: 3, Funny

    "This palm tree will self-destruct..." =)

  13. Big deal. Almost all my trees do that. by 140Mandak262Jamuna · · Score: 4, Funny

    As a sincere C++ programmer, I always provide a clean destructor for all my trees. AVL, binary, oct/quad, nnary... I have written it so many times. And they cleanly self destruct when they go out of scope.

    --
    sed -e 's/Chuck Norris/Rajnikant/g' joke > fact
  14. Self destructive behavior by rdawson · · Score: 5, Funny

    With fronds like that, who needs enemies?