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Magistrate Suggests Fining RIAA Lawyers

Posted by kdawson on from the just-fine dept.

NewYorkCountryLawyer writes "Angered at the RIAA's 'gamesmanship' in joining multiple 'John Does' in a single case without any basis for doing so, a Magistrate Judge in Maine has suggested to the presiding District Judge in Arista v. Does 1-27 that the record companies and/or their lawyers should be fined under Rule 11 of the Federal Rules, for misrepresenting the facts. In a lengthy footnote to her opinion recommending denial of a motion to dismiss the complaint (PDF, see footnote 5), Judge Kruvchak concluded that 'These plaintiffs have devised a clever scheme to obtain court-authorized discovery prior to the service of complaints, but it troubles me that they do so with impunity and at the expense of the requirements of Rule 11(b)(3) because they have no good faith evidentiary basis to believe the cases should be joined.' She noted that once the RIAA dismisses its 'John Doe' case it does not thereafter join the defendants when it sues them in their real names. Arista v. Does 1-27 is the same case in which student attorneys at the University of Maine Law School, "enthusiastic about being directly connected to a case with a national scope and significance", are representing undergrads targeted by the RIAA."

13 of 133 comments (clear)

  1. What if my name REALLY is "John Doe" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can you imagine if your name really was "John Doe"? Imagine the fun you could have showing up for court dates with alibi's for everything. "No, your honour... I was at a marriage ceremony on that date and I have 200 witnesses as well as photographic and video evidence"

    1. Re:What if my name REALLY is "John Doe" by Actually,+I+do+RTFA · · Score: 5, Funny

      an you imagine if your name really was "John Doe"?

      Or if your license plate was NO PLATE? It would be hell dealing with all the John Doe warrants that will pop up in automated systems whenever you try to do anything.

      Sorry to those of you who follow the above link and get Zango adware.

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    2. Re:What if my name REALLY is "John Doe" by zcat_NZ · · Score: 2, Funny

      more importantly, if you were ever actually sued by the MAFIAA the courts would end up in an endless loop of subpoenas only leading to further 'John Doe' lawsuits..

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  2. tag: suddenoutbreakofcommonsense by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's never been a more appropriate time.

  3. I misread the headline by peektwice · · Score: 3, Funny

    I thought it said the magistrate suggested FIRING the attorneys. It seems that would be useful too, but there'd be ten more to replace them.

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    1. Re:I misread the headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      I thought it said the magistrate suggested FIRING the attorneys. It seems that would be useful too, but there'd be ten more to replace them. That's how I initially read it also. But it clearly depends how the lawyers are fired as to how fast others will replace them. Out of cannons might be the most effective method. Into the Sun would also work.
    2. Re:I misread the headline by ScrewMaster · · Score: 2, Funny

      I thought it said the magistrate suggested FIRING the attorneys.

      A more effective solution might be filing the RIAA's attorneys (under "W" for Weasels, say) and then locking the cabinet. Just make sure it's a particularly sturdy model, and if it so happens that your filing cabinets are inside a bank vault so much the better.

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    3. Re:I misread the headline by techno-vampire · · Score: 4, Funny
      Into the Sun would also work.


      I'd rather not fire them into the Sun right now; it's busy doing the payroll. Would it be OK if I fired them into one of the Dells? None of them are doing anything mission critical.

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      Good, inexpensive web hosting
    4. Re:I misread the headline by xZoomerZx · · Score: 2, Funny

      Great, more space junk. Thanks pal.

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      Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.
  4. Hold a lit candle under their scrotum instead. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    There's no point in fining rich lawyers and even richer multinational media corporations pathetically small amounts of money. Instead of a fine, maybe a lit candle should be held under the scrotum of each laywer and board member. It doesn't have to be held there long. Ten to fifteen seconds should do the trick.

  5. Outrage! RIAA blames economic downturn on piracy by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can you believe it? In a press conference last week, Mitch Bainwol of RIAA infamy tells us, "Ladies and gentlemen, for a long time now, we've seen the signs of global recession. We can say confidently that this is the end result of illegal music piracy." He goes on with graphs that show the alleged correspondence. Link here

  6. Re:With all the lawsuits you've been in... by jadin · · Score: 2, Funny

    No problem, just tell them you're dead. I'm sure you have hundreds if not thousands of death certificates at your disposal.

  7. Re:Oops by zzottt · · Score: 2, Funny

    I wish there was a way to set my preference so I didnt see OFF TOPIC posts...