Disney Takes Another Stab at the House of the Future
Disney has announced that they are going to take another stab at showing us the "House of the Future". The 5000-square-foot house will appear normal from the outside but will house gadgets like lights and thermostats that automatically adjust when someone enters the room and countertops that can identify food placed on it and suggest recipes. "Millions of Disneyland visitors lined up a half-century ago to catch a glimpse of the future: a home teeming with mind-blowing gadgets such as handsfree phones, wall-sized televisions, plastic chairs, and electric razors and toothbrushes. [...] The $15 million home is a collaboration of The Walt Disney Co., Microsoft Corp., Hewlett-Packard Co., software maker LifeWare and homebuilder Taylor Morrison. Visitors will experience the look of tomorrow by watching Disney actors playing a family of four preparing for a trip to China."
In addition to the standard house-of-the-future home automation, the house will also include its own micro-fusion electric generator (running on tap water), a landing pad for the flying car, and Duke Nukem Forever running on a secure update to Microsoft Windows.
Visitors will experience the look of tomorrow by watching Disney actors playing a family of four preparing for a trip to China to welcome their new Chinese overlords. Fixt.
Oh the possibilites... - What happens if I'm in the shower and the OS crashes? Will it never turn off? - Will the toilet only accept one kind of input? - Will the house "phone home" to let said manufacturers know what I do in the house? (For statistics only, no personal information of course) - Will my furniture be compatible with the floor? - What if the fridge is stuck in an infinite loop and keeps ordering me eggs? - Can it defrag my junk drawer?
You never expect irony, do you?
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I'm sorry, you want to use your toaster in the bathtub? You have to purchase extra permissions to do that: $50 at amazon.com.
Remember, breaking usage agreements is STEALING. You wouldn't steal an old ladies purse, would you?
Any unauthorized appliance usage, or sharing of appliances is deemed a criminal offense and will be instantly reported directly to Microsoft.com. Your house will enter a "restricted usage" mode, and will drop to below freezing until sufficient licenses are purchased.
"Knowledge is the only instrument of production that is not subject to diminishing returns" -Journal of Political Econom
That may work in the House of the Future, but it will never be approved by the Senate of the Future.
Think global, act loco
Microsoft has a hand in it, so considering how they write their software I doubt you can remove or replace anything in thhe house without the walls turning blue, black, or crashing down.
If you remove the laser razor is it "House Of The Future Lite"? I'll bet you can only use Microsoft Light Bulbs and Microsoft Lamps because the bulb screws, light sockets, and wall plugs are all nonstandard and proprietary.
mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
Oh boy, I can't wait for the future house to tell me it's having a problem getting rid of a virus in the fridge-server and all my Choco-Tacos have melted! Then I'll set a nice tri-tip onto the counter and see if I can't get around the "Unrecognized Item on Counter! Abort, Retry, Ignore?" displayed on the inside of my eyelids. Future House I already hate you! :)
Wake me when the house of the future runs on a platform that is secure and stable and relatively free of solutions in search of problems.
This is the NSA, we're gonna geet U h@x0r5! Also, what is a h@x0r5?
Father: Come on medicine cabinet! I need my insulin!
Automated medicine cabinet: The serial number on your refrigerator seems to be invalid. Please call 1-800-chinasoft for assistence.
Father: Alright but hurry up I have to get to work.
Phone: It appears your telephone service provider is not supported. Can I interest you in signing up for MSNfone?
Father: I knew I should have installed linux but I just couldn't find those drivers for my countertop and showercurtain .
http://greenobyl.com/ please.... think of the children!!
not only that - the friendly Microsoft voice activated software will help you run your home
~~Home of the Future Premium Edition~~
me: Computer! shower on.
computer: warning - this will change your current hardware settings, which requires admin approval - are you sure you want to do that? Say 'yes' to continue, 'no' to cancel.
me: yes
~shower turns on cold water~
me: computer - set water to 36 degrees
computer: sets temp.
me: computer -this is still freezing - I said use Celsius yesterday - don't you learn?
computer: command not understood.
me: computer: set water to 36 degrees CELSIUS
computer: this is a US based system and only allows Fahrenheit temperatures. For international measurement packs, install House of the Future Ultimate Edition.
me: *%*#%*^ - computer - set temp to 98F!
computer: House temperature is now set to 98 degrees Fahrenheit.
me: aaargh - no computer, set shower water temperature to 98F and house temp to 70F.
computer: shower water temp set to 98F. please enter commands one at a time.
me: computer: set house temp to 70F.
computer: house temp set to 70F
~~shower~~
me: computer - shower off
computer: warning - this will change your current hardware settings, which requires admin approval - are you sure you want to do that? Say 'yes' to continue, 'no' to cancel.
me: yes!
~~shower turns off~~