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NASA Plans to Smash Spacecraft into the Moon

Posted by samzenpus on from the hit-it-hard dept.

djasbestos writes "NASA is planning to smash a spacecraft into the Moon in order to look for hydrogen deposits in the poles. More notably, it will impact with significantly greater force (100x, per the article) than previous Moon collisions, such as by the Lunar Prospector and Smart-1 probes. Admiral Ackbar was unreachable for comment as to the exact location and size of the Moon's thermal exhaust port."

43 of 176 comments (clear)

  1. Obligatory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Many Bothans died to bring samzenpus this information...

    1. Re:Obligatory by Dr.+Cody · · Score: 3, Funny

      Of mesotheliosis?

  2. That's no moon... by rhomboid · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's a space station...

    --
    -Rhomboid
    1. Re:That's no moon... by Workaphobia · · Score: 4, Funny

      Obligatory response: http://xkcd.com/307/
      I find my lack of freedom to do otherwise disturbing.

      --
      Evidently, the key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.
    2. Re:That's no moon... by philspear · · Score: 2, Funny

      And there it is, the last star wars quote ever on /.

  3. Practising... by PinkyDead · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...for another Mars mission, eh?

    It had to be said - even if it is terribly trolly.

    --
    Genesis 1:32 And God typed :wq!
    1. Re:Practising... by martin-boundary · · Score: 5, Funny

      Either that, or the Russians weren't impressed by the recent satellite shootdown, so the top brass want to do one more missile test with a slightly bigger satellite.

    2. Re:Practising... by elrous0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The press may call it "Moon lander mission goes horribly wrong due to multiple system failures," but NASA calls it "retasking."

      --
      SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
  4. Wrong guy surely by 91degrees · · Score: 5, Funny

    Admiral Ackbar led the attack on the second Battle Station. The thermal exhaust port weakness was on the first.

    1. Re:Wrong guy surely by CrazyJim1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Heh, I'd bet all my mod points that you get modded up for this.
      A: You corrected someone's error
      B: It was Star Wars related
      C: You made fun of someone who thought he was funny, but many people don't.
      D: You dead panned it.

      --
      God spoke to me.
    2. Re:Wrong guy surely by Clay+Pigeon+-TPF-VS- · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's not going to happen now that you explained it to death, and then picked apart its corpse for good measure.

      --
      Viral software licensing is not freedom, it is in fact GNU/Socialism.
    3. Re:Wrong guy surely by MSZ · · Score: 5, Funny

      Life, get you should.

      --
      The moon is not fully subjugated. I demand a second assault wave preceded by a massive nuclear bombardment.
    4. Re:Wrong guy surely by aproposofwhat · · Score: 3, Funny

      Gentoo user, huh?

      --
      One swallow does not a fellatrix make
    5. Re:Wrong guy surely by ozbird · · Score: 4, Funny

      Admiral Ackbar led the attack on the second Battle Station.

      Allah'u to his friends.

      The thermal exhaust port weakness was on the first.

      If someone shot a proton torpedo up your exhaust port, you'd have a moment of weakness too.

    6. Re:Wrong guy surely by Eagleartoo · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's not going to happen now that you explained it to death, and then picked apart its corpse for good measure.
      It's even worse, the OP didn't qoute who he was belittling so now his correction stands out there like a naked British royal, and the horsebeater who replied to that also cuts of his nose to spite his face in laughing at this guy's expense because noone knows what the first guy was talking about. You sir, however, have rightly decimated the second party. I will fall victim to your folly as well, for I am criticizing and commenting without having any context of the original idea put forth for comic value.
      --
      -You have been modded appropriately-
    7. Re:Wrong guy surely by Oktober+Sunset · · Score: 4, Funny

      I think the main weakness of the second death star was the huge 'half is missing' hole on one side.

      --
      What if Tetris was invented by Nazis?
    8. Re:Wrong guy surely by tcolberg · · Score: 2, Funny

      Lieutenant Porkins never gets any credit!

  5. I didn't know planned failure was okay... by philspear · · Score: 5, Funny

    I am planning on failing my midterms. I expect to fail this midterm by significantly more points (100x per my plans) than previous failures. I am doing this in search of hydrogen deposits in the poles.

    1. Re:I didn't know planned failure was okay... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Remote sensors indicate methane around Uranus

  6. Has to be done by FoolsGold · · Score: 5, Funny
    This is Slashdot, so I better get a good old tradition out of the way before someone else does I suppose...

    NASA officials has released a press statement saying the spacecraft will not require any special programming to direct it towards a collision with the Moon. They simply plan to install Windows Vista on the craft and let nature take its course.
    1. Re:Has to be done by hairyfeet · · Score: 4, Funny
      Your information is out of date. In simulations Vista slowed the machine down so badly by the time it got up enough speed to crash the moon was out of alignment. In light of these simulations (and do to budget constraints) they have decided to go with plan b-which will consist of a robotic arm plugging a usb scanner into the underlying Windows 98 operating system at the appropriate time. This will result in further savings in hardware and fuel by lowering the system requirements from "need a second mortgage elite" to "cousin cleetus wally world special".


      For further information please see the paper entitled "Using complex instability for positive gain: The use of underlying instabilities inherent in proprietary operating systems with undocumented functions to achieve net gains in proposed Unmanned Procedurally Programmed Missions for Interstellar Scientific Study (UPPMISS) " at NASA.gov

      --
      ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
  7. And the bidding begins by n3tcat · · Score: 2, Funny

    NASA needs funds right? So they should sell the right to name the new crater on ebay.

  8. Unfortunately by TummyX · · Score: 5, Funny

    Unfortunately, due to a failure to perform a metric/imperial conversion, the mission failed when the probe performed a perfect soft landing on the moon's surface.

    1. Re:Unfortunately by mpe · · Score: 2, Funny

      Unfortunately, due to a failure to perform a metric/imperial conversion, the mission failed when the probe performed a perfect soft landing on the moon's surface.

      Be even more embarrasing it it missed completly. Most ammusing though if it orbited the moon once and crashed back onto the launch pad...

    2. Re:Unfortunately by Thanshin · · Score: 4, Funny

      Even more embarrassing would be to fail so miserably that the probe landed on the sea and they spent a year reporting having found water and living organisms on the moon.

  9. Re:How long... by roguetrick · · Score: 5, Funny

    I blame lunacy.

    --
    -The world would be a better place if everyone had a hoverboard
  10. Since a certain Mars mission has been mentioned by hyades1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    may I suggest that NASA replace their somewhat embarrassing "Faster, better, cheaper" motto with "Closer, cheaper, deeper"?

    --
    I've calculated my velocity with such exquisite precision that I have no idea where I am.
    1. Re:Since a certain Mars mission has been mentioned by SeaFox · · Score: 4, Funny

      replace their somewhat embarrassing "Faster, better, cheaper" motto with "Closer, cheaper, deeper"?

      That's even worse. It sounds like the tagline for a porn movie.
  11. Mooninites by roguetrick · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is what happens when you screw with boston.

    --
    -The world would be a better place if everyone had a hoverboard
  12. In other news... by Thanshin · · Score: 5, Funny

    NASA Plans to Smash Spacecraft into the Moon Following NASA's new trend of sincerity, Burger King releases a new set of products under the name "Die fat bastard! Die" and NIKE presents the new AirSlave collection.
  13. In China by rucs_hack · · Score: 2, Funny

    Russian Spaceships Fly Yo....

    Oh wait, that's actually true..

  14. Hotblack Desiato is auditioning by duzbin · · Score: 1, Funny

    Are you sure this isn't an audition for Disaster Area.

    --
    "Let the commencement...beginulate!"
  15. Re:hehehe... nice way to put it by KDR_11k · · Score: 3, Funny

    So... They want to deal with starting and flying but not landing? Oh my god, call the DHS!

    --
    Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
  16. Right... by rucs_hack · · Score: 5, Funny

    Which insensitive clod tagged this story Beagle3?

    This entire thread will be kept behind until whoever did it owns up...
    Come on, I can wait all day if necessary.

  17. Re:cheese by Overzeetop · · Score: 3, Funny

    Wensleydale, I think.

    --
    Is it just my observation, or are there way too many stupid people in the world?
  18. Re:How long... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    No. This... Is... NASAAAAAAA!
    (kicks probe into gravity well)

  19. Obligatory Revisited by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The moon's poles can't repel firepower of that magnitude!

  20. I'D LIKE TO SEE... by sm62704 · · Score: 3, Funny

    TWO BRICKS BEING SMASHED TOGETHER!

    I'm sorry sir, but that's offtopic. Try Again, please.

    I'D LIKE TO SEE... A ROCKET SMASHING INTO THE MOON!

    That's more like it. And now for something completely different...

    --
    mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
  21. Dr Banner Approves.... by LittleGuy · · Score: 2, Funny

    One Small Step for Man,

    One Big *SMASH* for Hulk!

    --
    Mod Karma -1: I sed bad wurds. If I cep my mouf shut, I wud be at riyses.
  22. Oblig. West Wing Quotes by 787style · · Score: 3, Funny

    Toby Ziegler: They know it was on course traveling at a rate of 15,400 miles per hour, which it was supposed to. Somewhere during its descent it was also supposed to release two probes - each about the size of a basketball - firing them deep into the ground as part of the mission's search for evidence of water under surface.

    Josh Lyman: We think if we hit the ground hard enough, we can make it to the center of the planet and find water?

    Toby Ziegler: Yeah.

    Josh Lyman: That's not a theory of physics pretty much disproved by Wile E. Coyote?

  23. Re:Not green by justthinkit · · Score: 2, Funny

    One thousand, one hundred and two tons of debris and dust.

    Plus or minus 500 tons.

    --
    I come here for the love
  24. Pop-up Video--little known fact about ROTJ by Phoenix666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Lucas saved a ton of money on makeup costs by casting Tori Spelling to play Admiral Ackbar. It's a fact--look it up.

    --
    Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.
  25. Obligatory Mr. Show Reference by ubergrits · · Score: 2, Funny

    "On July 4th of this year, America will blow up the moon."

    "We have the technology; the time is now; science can wait no longer; children are our future. America can, should, must, and will blow up the moon."

    "Yes, and we'll be doing it during a full moon, so we make sure we get it all."

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=kHpX5aa5Lz4