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Celebrity AD&D Character Sheets
GnomeIllusionist writes "In their continuing tribute to Gary Gygax, Wired has created character sheets for nine celebrities. Apparently, Stephen Hawking can do 10D6 radiation damage to his enemies and Rick Astley is a 20th-Level bard. Steve Jobs' black turtleneck is actually magical armor with +6 against edged attacks." Most of them are kinda cheesy and obvious- I wonder if you can do better.
Web Master
Chaotic Basement Troll
Strength: Pi
Intelligence: 4
Wisdom: 12
Constitution: 18
Dexterity: 7
Charisma: 1
Special Abilities: Posses the inability to discern between 'there' and 'their' while at the same time lacking any clue of what news is.
My work here is dung.
Hawking has to roll every time he gets near a flight of stairs in a melee or takes the tumble critical hit..
This is my sig.
Bill Gates Grants Self 18 Dexterity, 20 Charisma
REDMOND, WA--Microsoft head Bill Gates, already considered by many to be among the most powerful men in the world, further increased his powers Monday, augmenting several of his key statistics to near-immortal levels.
Rick Astley's character sheet neglects to mention a few things -- he is under a permanent Geas of loyalty. Rick is unable to abandon party members for any reason (although his party members may choose to leave him if they initiate the separation). In addition, he is unable to speak any untruth which causes emotional anguish to another.
Rick also has a compulsion to explain to others his emotional state and how he is feeling, which results in a penalty to all rolls involving deception (except vs. ducks). However, this feature is not a Geas and is merely a personality trait.
no disrespect to Mr. T, but Chuck Norris would have been much better. Chuck Norris Lawful Good Superhuman Strength: 20 Intelligence: 10 Wisdom: 12 Constitution: 16 Dexterity: 18 Charisma: 15 Special Abilities: Tears cure all afflictions. Roundhouse kick, if rolled higher than 1d4, defeats enemy. Beard has special powers not yet seen.
"22th-Level Evolutionary Biologist"
how about 22nd..
looks like an editor just failed an intelligence check.
You forgot his Unitary Executive, Misunderestimate Me and Appoint Lackey feats:
Unitary Executive: Ignores rules for character generation. Can ignore any or all rules of combat, at will, as long as Memo of John Woo is in possession.
Misunderestimate Me: Is underestimated for the wrong reasons. Add +6 inherent bonus to Bluff, and a -6 inherent penalty to all Diplomacy rolls made on his behalf, even by another PC or an NPC.
Appoint Lackey: Anyone he appoints to an Administration position takes a -8 inherent penalty to all relevant skills. The only way to avoid this penalty is to not have any skills applicable to the position.
No Longer a Menace to Society.
Alexandria Morrigan born 2/22/01 l. 20.5in wt. 7 lbs. 5 oz.
I can't believe they forgot to mention his favorite spell:
"Fear and Confuse"- This spell has a nation wide area of effect causing any creatures with below 14 INT to see enemies in every shadow and to believe that the caster is their best hope of salvation. Any mage attempting to cast a "Dispel Fear" will immediately be lynched by the effected creatures. Duration: each effected creatures rolls 2d4 for number of years under the spell.
We are all just people.
Everyone knows that as soon as you introduce the Chuck Norris character into the game, it ends as all the other characters get roundhouse kicked into another alternate universe.
Also, Chuck Norris always wins, even with a 1. Nobody else dares roll the dice to counter. It is said that someone tried once - they rolled a blank - the pips on the die had turned white in fear of Chuck Norris.
But if I hurt Cmdr Taco's feelings, I'll make it up to him:
eldavojohn
Slashdotter
Narcotic Basement Sheep
Strength: i
Intelligence: 3
Wisdom: 4
Constitution: 18
Dexterity: 19
Charisma: 2
Special Abilities: Will suck dick for karma. Extreme dexterity gives him ability to stick foot in own mouth. Often acts like a know-it-all about topics he has no right commenting on. When challenged, often flies into frenzied rage and adds +7 to defensive rhetoric with a tree hugging hippy slant to it. Member of Slashdot hive mind mentality.
Christ, if you can't laugh about everything what's the point of living?
My work here is dung.