Slashdot Mirror
Instant Messaging For Introverts
adamengst tips an article up on TidBITS that explores the persistent reluctance of many nerds to embrace fully new communications media such as IM and Twitter. In this thoughtful article Joe Kissell explores, from the inside, the mind of the introvert and how this personality style often struggles with new "always-on" media. The result is a sometimes exasperated incomprehension on the part of the more extroverted. Well worth a read.
If, as wacky futurists like Ray Kurzweil in his The Singularity is Near human beings will increasingly maintain portions of their conscious in computer networks, is there even a place for introversion in the future? Eventually once all of mankind is networked, it'll be harder and hard to tune out.
Anyone who wants or needs to concentrate suffers from the constant barrage of interruptions from this 'always on' technology.
IM, Cellphones, SMS etc. It seems to be expected now that everyone should be instantly contactable, at any time, for the most trivial of communications.
I'm not an introvert, but prefer to be uninterrupted unless it's something really important.
I annoy people by not playing the game, by turning off my cellphone, not running an IM client (unless I want to specifically talk to someone), only checking my email twice a day etc.
The constant jabbering and twittering that surrounds us now really pisses me off. QUIET please!
They used to say that about masturbation but most of the slashdotters seem to have emerged unscathed.
Shyness and introversion are two different things. Introversion is a preference for being alone. Shyness is when somebody feels anxiety around other people.
IM and other virtual communication can be good at alleviating the anxiety shy people feel, enabling them to socialise frequently, but it isn't going to do anything for an introvert who doesn't want to socialise frequently.
Bogtha Bogtha Bogtha
Parent is sadly at -1 currently and may be missed by many... mods - please mod up!
He makes a very valid point. Personally, I don't use IM services very often, and like the author of TFA, I'm generally "signed in, but unavailable". If someone messages while I'm busy, I ignore it until I'm not busy, or about to take a coffee break, or cigarette break or whatever.
Email, I use almost exclusively. If someone wants something from me that will take more than 10 seconds of my time to do, the ONLY way I'll accept it is via email.
Blogging - well, actually, there's something else. I view blogging more like I view emails - I can spend time to think about them before I write them, and am under no pressure for "instant" communication. My blog posts are infrequent (around once a month or so on average) and only of a personal nature (I have friends all over the world due to having moved country many times, and I use it to keep my friends up to date with my life (stops them asking!)).
And finally, to agree with the parent - phones are EVIL. If my phone rings and I don't answer it, whoever was calling will be personally offended by me - which is ridiculous, but seems to be the way of the world. I am almost forced to be interrupted, and there's little I can do about it. Because my phone is used for both work and private calls, I do not have the luxury of switching it off.
(note: English IS my native language, but I haven't been using it so much recently and I'm very tired right now, so please excuse any grammar/spelling/phrasing errors in this post)
My book about LSD and Self-Discovery
Also on facebook as: DroppingAcidDaleBewan
I carpool with a guy that is going through an amicable divorce that is turning messier by the day. She communicate a LOT by text message - not "Pick up some milk" but "I think we should go to counseling" and "I hate you and I never want to talk to you again". Texting has given her the ability to vomit out all her surface thoughts without the burden of reflection or instant feedback from a face to face conversation. Lovely.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." A. Carlson
Shy is different than introversion. I am an introvert personally. I don't feel the least bit uncomfortable in a social situation in person or on the phone.
I DO avoid the phone mostly because too many people don't know when the conversation is over and too many people take it as an invitation to interrupt whatever I'm doing for a conversation they won't even remember an hour later.
I prefer less frequent but more meaningful conversation.
Introversion is confused with shyness primarily by extroverts who can't imagine any reason other than shyness that a person wouldn't always be up for social interaction.
To be more correct: Intraverts gain their energy from being alone. Being with other people takes effort.
Now, this is just a preference, so it can be overcome, but it takes effort and may not be accomplished as effectively as an Extravert (just like a right-hander writing with their left hand). Many Intraverts find it tiring, and requiring a period alone to re-energise.
IM/virtual communication can lower (but probably not remove) the effort required to communicate with others, particularly compared to the phone or being face to face with people.
The only thing you can accurately describe as "Scotch" is a sticky tape made by 3M. And it's
$ file daily.sh
/home/slashdotreader/www/images/spacer.gif: PNG image data, 1x1, 8-bit/color RGBA, non-interlaced
/home/slashdotreader: ENFP (Extravert iNtuitive Feeler Perceiver) An idealist who's focus is on making other people happy, turns work into fun and includes others, tends to take a lot personally
/home/mybrother /home/mybrother: INTJ (Introvert iNtuitive Thinker Judger) Always gets the big picture, a conceptualizing master-mind personality, quite pensive and also brilliant, focuses less on the feeling of the group at large
/home/my_manager /home/myboss: ISTJ (Introvert Sensing Thinker Judger) The traditionalist who's bound to "do the right thing", has the details down pat before opening their mouth.
daily.sh: Bourne-Again shell script text executable
$ file ~/www/images/spacer.png
_____________________
You know to treat a shell script differently than a PNG, right? Of course! Before I read about MBTI, I didn't know that PEOPLE could be different too -- I just never thought about it!
What I liked about this article was the view on Introverts. I'm an extravert, who before learning more about MBTI -- Thought that introversion was too, some anti-social kind of tendency. However, after learning more: Some of the most socially savvy people that I know are introverts. Me and my extravert cohorts are very social -- however, that's mitigated by the fact that we're also great at shooting our mouthes off, and speaking far too early.
Certain things used to really get me riled up: Someone not saying hi when I walked into a room, someone being critical of your actions in a group project, someone choosing the cold hard decision in stead of the warm fuzzy decision. Then, I read up on MBTI and I went, "EUREKA! -That's- why they see it differently".
Also, it really helped me see what ticked me off about some people (which in some cases -- was similarities to my own personality type) and helped me see the -great- parts about them, and to communicate using those parts, and really help them shine, and help my perception of them.
Back to Instant messaging, here's me, and take it at what it's worth:
1. I'm ENFP.
2. I -hate- AIM (sometimes). I feel -so- committed to talking on it, it's like once it's open, I have to talk to 17 people, have a full conversion from "Yo sup" to full convo, to full closure. It's just too... Real.
3. I -love- IRC (all the time). I get lots and lots and lots of communication, I can jump from channel to channel and topic to topic. I meet people I love, people I hate. I can jump on, I can jump off. I can end 15 convos at once by saying "bbiab!" and I can start 30 convos at once by saying "I'm not sure if I want to use VIM or EMacs".
So... With that said, while I liked the article a lot... I don't think that the E/I preference is the only one that comes into play when it comes to online communication. For example, from my perception, IRC has this "Perceiver" quality that I love, lots and lots of communication -- without a lot of commitment.
Also, a couple books to recommend that got me sparked into "type watching":
"Type Talk" by Otto Kroeger and Janet M. Thuesen
"The Art of Speed Reading People: How to Size People Up and Speak Their Language" by Paul D. Tieger,Barbara Barron-Tieger
(note, these are introductory books to the topic)
______________________________________
$ MBTI ~
$ MBTI
$ MBTI
"10 different instant messaging protocols?"
Obviously you're lagging behind in terms of social networking. And as I am told almost every week, social networking is something that any IT person should be doing.
But seriously, I found a way around this mass of utilities. I got an old laptop on which I install all this new fancy messaging software, I then create an account and leave some sparse information about myself, and then I NEVER look back.
This way I can tell people I do have an account on network XYZ but sadly because of my "prior social engagements" I may not be online on their network of choice when they are. Add to that the fact that only my direct superior has my phone number and I become exactly what people expect of me: the IT guy that can be reached in millions of ways whenever the oppertunity calls for it.
No way they can blame me if they can't find me.
The article title is bit misleading. The author has done a great job of explaining how the introvert mind works...
This also is one of the reasons why some practices of Extreme Programming, I just could not handle. I need quiet time to think, and 5 people sitting in a meeting room near each other and constantly communicating is simply too distracting.
This used to leave me exhausted by the end of the day... something I'd entirely avoid unless I won't be able to find any other job.
I can relate to Joe Kissell's pain. My worst job ever was a programming job where I was the only introvert in a group of extroverts. My supervisor, a massive extrovert, wanted everyone to use IM. The problem was that for the group, IM meant March Madness, pro football, baseball, golf, but rarely work. I could not concentrate on a problem for more that 5 minutes before the IM client would chime. When I turned it off to get work done, I was 'not a team player' and 'not friendly'. Soon I was cut out of all conversation, and then it was get rid of the guy who won't play along. I left, and found a better job where they understand my work style.