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POD Braces Itself Against Amazon

Posted by Zonk on from the oh-so-demanding dept.

OMNIpotusCOM writes "As we've previously discussed, Amazon is in the process of taking the 'Buy' buttons off of published on demand (POD) books that were not created by Amazon's in-house publisher, BookSurge. PODdy Mouth has been reporting reactions throughout the week (including an open letter from Amazon), culminating today in letters to Amazon and their board by the Author's Guild, Small Publishers Association of North America, and the Publishers Marketing Association. Possible lawsuits are looming ... is it enough to change Amazon's mind?"

10 of 69 comments (clear)

  1. Well fuck me motherfucking sideways... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I got a boot sector virus here that won't stop loading itself into my DVD drives firmware. I'm trying to recover my system here when suddenly Slack installer tells me it I don't have an optical device anymore. Well how the fuck did I load the install disc then? I guess somehow I got it to halt mid-flash and the drive is bricked. Damn you faggot bastard child black-hat wanna-bes. Fuck you all with splintered wooden dildos with screws drilled through them. Of course, you'd probably like that, wouldn't you?

    1. Re:Well fuck me motherfucking sideways... by nozzo · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      fdisk /mbr ok?

    2. Re:Well fuck me motherfucking sideways... by somersault · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      oh hai, I fxd your mister boot rekord 4 u

      --
      which is totally what she said
    3. Re:Well fuck me motherfucking sideways... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

      Tucker bursts out of the elevator, looking around frantically. He sprints to the empty front desk. The clock behind the desk reads 4am. He hits the bell furiously for an obnoxiously long time until the sleeping clerk comes out.

      TUCKER: Is there a bathroom down here?

      FRONT DESK CLERK: Back corner of the lobby.

      Tucker takes off. He turns the corner from the front desk and immediately realizes his mistake.

      TUCKER: Which corner???

      He spots a white door at one end of the lobby and quickly waddles to it as he holds his butt cheeks together. Tucker bursts through the door.

      JANITOR: AAYYYYY!

      It's a janitor's closet.

      TUCKER: Where is the bathroom!?
      JANITOR: Que? No, no habloingles!
      TUCKER: WHAT?! Uh...uh...DONDEESTAEL FUCKING BANO?!!!

      JANITOR (pointing across the lobby) Alla! Alla!

      Sixty yards across from the janitor's closet, a large "RESTROOM" sign hangs above a door. Tucker breaks into a dead sprint. Twenty yards into the run his boxers start to sag. Thirty yards and his ass crack and legs get noticeably wet. Forty yards and his boxers have slid down to mid-thigh. Ten yards from the door and the brown, viscous liquid is all over him. Little specks hit the back of
      his head and ears as he runs.

      As he bursts into the restroom, he's completely shithimself. He steps out of his pink boxers, shitpuddle in the seat, and flings them blindly as he breaks into the first stall. He plops down on the seat and immediately slides off. His ass is covered in slimy, runny feces and spouts black, viscous human waste. Tucker flushes the full toilet and it overflows. He moves to the next stall until he finishes--exhausted, dehydrated, and tearing up from the exertion.

      There's no toilet paper. Tucker takes off his shirt but discovers it's covered in little specks of shit.The large vanity mirror has a thick black streak from the ceiling down to the countertopwhere his boxers are crumpled in a ball. Naked and covered in speckles of his own poop, Tucker opens the bathroom to the lobby.

      TUCKER: Who else on this earth could be having a worse night than me?

      Laid out before him is a trail of his own feces. It starts wide at his feet and gets smaller until it apexes at the clunky white shoes of the small Mexican janitor.

      TUCKER: Sorry. I mean, uh, lo siento.

      Tucker walks defeated toward the elevators. The Lady Janitor is sobbing hysterically. Through the glass of the elevator, Tucker can see why she's crying. He sprayed shitover everything: the couches, the walls, the plants, everything.

      TUCKER: God, I hope they serve beer in hell.

  2. Re:This is a problem for the Nmap book by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Thanks for the shameless plug.

  3. Re:This is a problem for the Nmap book by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Hey Fyodor, as a longstanding user of nmap, I just wanted to say thanks for all that you've done for the community, and wherever you end up having it published/distributed through, I'll be sure to pick up a copy :)

    Cowar D. Anymouse.

  4. Re:This is a problem for the Nmap book by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    If only amazon wouldn't have burned you, you could have made those links affiliate links and even got some money out of your advertisement.

  5. Re:This is a problem for the Nmap book by DrXym · · Score: 1, Offtopic

    Can't you get your own ISBN and then it doesn't matter who you get to print your books? It could be POD, your local publisher, or something else entirely.

  6. Let me tell you about independent publishing. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Let me tell you about independent publishing. I own a small business, with six employees. We do Flash games, web development, and other custom software projects. On Friday I wasn't feeling so well. A bit of the flu, I suppose. Regardless of my health, our work must go on. So there the entire company was, sitting in our 10'x10' meeting room with two representatives from one of our larger clients. In short, I shit my pants. It wasn't a solid shit, either. It was diarrhea that ended up dripping down my legs onto my shoes, and then onto the carpet. And in a meeting room as small as ours, packed with nine people in it, it isn't an enjoyable experience. Needless to say, the reps from our client were not impressed. And tomorrow I get to deal with the repercussions of the whole ordeal. Since I clean our office (we can't afford a cleaning firm), I'll probably get to clean up the now-dried stool that has no doubt been festering there all weekend.

  7. YOU FAIL IT?! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    exe8plified by