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Soyuz Ballistic Re-entry 300 Miles Off Course

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the you-know-you-need-the-soviet-russia-joke dept.

call-me-kenneth writes "Soyuz TMA-11, carrying a crew of three returning from the ISS, unexpectedly followed a high-G ballistic re-entry trajectory and ended up landing 300 miles off-course. The crew, including Commander Peggy Whitson and cosmonaut Yuri Malenchenko, are reportedly in good health. Soyuz capsules have previously saved the lives of the crew even after severe malfunctions that might have led to the loss of a less robust vehicle."

18 of 197 comments (clear)

  1. hmm by DanWS6 · · Score: 0, Funny

    [insert "in soviet russia" joke here]

  2. How far exactly? by MagdJTK · · Score: 5, Funny
    According to the first paragraph of the article, the distance by which they were off was 400km, which Slashdot claims is 300 miles.

    Perhaps the calculations were done by the same person who worked out the re-entry trajectory?

    1. Re:How far exactly? by call-me-kenneth · · Score: 5, Funny
      Story submitter here... I used 300 miles because the NASA press release (the second link in the story) says:

      "The landing was approximately 295 miles from the expected landing site" ...which I rounded to 300 to try to make the story sound more exciting than it really is, just in order to flatter my inadequate sense of identity and self-esteem. Little did I reckon on the elite mental arithmetic of the Slashdot readership! I hang my head in shame.
  3. Genie in a Bottle by skeeto · · Score: 4, Funny

    They didn't come back with any beautiful, belly-buttonless genies, did they?

  4. Horse shoes and hand gernades by edwardpickman · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hey give them some credit they hit the right planet.

  5. Re:Ballistic trajectory? by MopedJesus · · Score: 4, Funny

    The "ballistic trajectory" seems to be an euphemism for coming down like a rock.

    A jet mechanic friend of mine is fond of the phrase "the glide-ratio of a rock".

    --
    -- VOTE -- Moped Jesus in '08!
  6. Re:I'm impressed by JockTroll · · Score: 0, Funny

    Spoken like a true loserboy nerd. For Soyuz capsules, ballistic reentry is a viable backup reentry mode that is planned for. Lifting re-entry is preferred because it greatly reduces the G-forces experienced by the crew, but the craft CAN re-enter on a ballistic trajectory. Vostok, Voshkod and Mercury capsules all re-entered ballistically. TMA-10 (october 2007) also made a ballistic reentry.

    So shut the shithole you're talking out of, loserboys. For all your bragging about "science" and "technology", you know jack. You only look at the pictures while we jocks beat you up and shit on your faces.

    --
    Geeks are so full of shit that "beating the crap out of them" takes a whole new meaning.
  7. ObSovietRussiaJoke by FlyByPC · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...In Soviet Russia, questionable navigation systems report on *you*!

    --
    Paleotechnologist and connoisseur of pretty shiny things.
  8. Re:Ballistic trajectory? by Fishead · · Score: 5, Funny

    According to the voice data recorder, the last comment before the course change was:

    "Screw you guys, I'm going home."

  9. Re:sort of off-topic by ozmanjusri · · Score: 5, Funny
    Out of curiosity, how does that statement make me a foreigner?

    You've made an intelligent point without threatening anyone.

    That's downright unamerican.

    --
    "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
  10. Re:Astronauts. by NewbieProgrammerMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Stories like this remind me of the huge BALLS it takes to strap yourself onto a rocket and fly straight into orbit, and then come back down again.

    Maybe you should say huge nads or something else that's more unisex, considering both of the astronauts in this case were women. :)
    --
    [b.belong('us') for b in bases if b.owner() == 'you']
  11. Re:Ballistic trajectory? by arivanov · · Score: 3, Funny

    No.

    Serezha, davai vruchnuyu!!!

    --
    Baker's Law: Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it
    http://www.sigsegv.cx/
  12. Re:sort of off-topic by Jesus_666 · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's right, we Europeans are above randomly threatening people. And if anyone disagrees I'll smash his face in with a brick!

    --
    USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
  13. Re:Heavyside Layers by call-me-kenneth · · Score: 4, Funny

    Alan Shepard hit over 11g during re-entry, and he didn't pass out and could still hit switches. Yeah? Well Chuck Norris could hit 12G and wouldn't need to hit the switches, he'd just look at them and they'd switch themselves out of pure fear.
  14. Re:sort of off-topic by hey! · · Score: 2, Funny

    Spoken like a European.

    Americans know that violence never truly solves anything, unless it is caught on camera.

    --
    Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
  15. Re:Ballistic trajectory? by garlicbready · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm sure it was
    "Nyet Nyet, metric I tell you metric"

  16. Re:Astronauts. by Crypto+Gnome · · Score: 3, Funny

    Maybe you should say huge nads or something else that's more unisex, considering both of the astronauts in this case were women. :) No, he's just met some female russian cosmonauts.
    --
    Visit CryptoGnome in his home.
  17. Re:Ballistic trajectory? by ozbird · · Score: 3, Funny

    Douglas Adams said it best: "The spaceships hung in the air in exactly the same way that bricks don't."