Boss Waterboards Employee in Team Building Exercise

As part of a team building exercise, Chad Hudgens agreed to be waterboarded. "He lay on his back with his head downhill, co-workers knelt on either side of him, pinning the young sales rep down while their supervisor poured water from a gallon jug over his nose and mouth." His boss told the employees present, "You saw how hard Chad fought for air right there. I want you to go back inside and fight that hard to make sales." Chad thought about it for a few days and is now suing. General counsel for the company, George Brunt says, "We're not the mean waterboarding company that people think we are. I don't know if this would even be an issue if it weren't for Guantanamo Bay." He added that the company has seen great success with other torture themed training such as "The Iron Boot of Productivity" and "Drawn and Quarterly Reports."

Comments

I want a job there.

[iamsamed]

...pinning the young sales rep down while their supervisor poured water from a gallon jug over his nose and mouth...

Water boarding sales reps?!? I want a job there!

Re:I want a job there.

[Kwiik]

I agree... sounds kinky

It's not torture...

[toriver]

... unless it's done by the Japanese against captured American soldiers during WW2. Apparently.

did you get the memo..

[tempest69]

office flogging for not adding a cover sheet to the tps report.. bamboo shoots under the fingernails for not using the corporate greeting.. and dont even ask what they do to people who aren't wearing enough flair.

Re:did you get the memo..

[Architect_sasyr]

All of the above to the beancounters for the stress relief it provides the system administrator.......

Wait, what?

[Rachel Lucid]

We're using torture as a sales improvement tactic?

Implications on the applications of torture aside, this just feels like a REALLY stupid lesson. "Selling Harder" does jack shit if it's the same sold techniques.

I suppose, oh I dunno, teaching them better sales techniques was just too expensive for their budget. A pity, as I hope they set aside a couple thousand in that budget to get this guy to settle out of court.

Re:Wait, what?

[TapeCutter]

Oh I dunno. Anyone remeber Daffy Duck in Golden Yeggs? Daffy eventually did lay a gold egg and was heard to say "It's amazing what one can do with a gun pointed at his head". Of course Rocky then pointed him in the direction of a room full of egg-cartons and said "fill 'em up".

Seriously though, trainning sales reps with tourture simply validates using the same techniques on their customers. Most 'hard sell' companies are that way because they have nothing else to offer. I hope the young rep pushes this bunch of clowns into bankruptcy.

Re:Wait, what?

[Anonymous Coward]

Looney Tunes counts as proof of valid behavior now?

Wait until I tell everyone about my new anti-gravity system, then! It's called "Not looking down!"

They are doing it wrong...

[custerfluck]

With Microsoft the customer gets tortured after the sale.

Awkward conversation at home...

[Zoole]

"So what did you do at work today honey?"
"Oh you know, tortured an employee. Had lunch."
"Again?"
"This one's different. He's suing."
"Guess you didn't torture him enough then."
"Next quarter should be better in that department."

Before/After

[BigRiff]

Before: Waterboarding? How bad can it be? I mean I got dunked at the pool when I was little, right? After: Waterboarding? I never, ever, ever, ever, want to do that again. That's freaking torture.

i beat i know their defence.

[timmarhy]

"but he agreed to it"

so fucking what. i bet they didn't explain it's actually a torture method and you can die from it. i hope this kid wins, purely because i like to see numb skull managers get their ass handed to them.