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Mormon Church Goes After WikiLeaks

An anonymous reader writes "The Mormon Church has instructed its lawyers to gag the Internet over WikiLeaks' release of the 1968 and 1999 versions of its confidential handbook for Church leaders. Apart from attacking WikiLeaks, legal demands were sent to Jimmy Wales of the WikiMedia foundation for a WikiNews article merely linking to the material, and scribd.com has also been censored. WikiLeaks has (of course) refused to remove the documents."

36 of 1,172 comments (clear)

  1. "Gag the Internet" by Finallyjoined!!! · · Score: 5, Funny

    That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)

    --
    If I had an Ass, I'd call it Fanny Bottom, then I could slap my Ass; Fanny Bottom, on the Arse.
    1. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Rob+the+Bold · · Score: 5, Funny

      That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)
      "Dum, dum, dum, dum, DUM!"
      --
      I am not a crackpot.
    2. Re:"Gag the Internet" by sm62704 · · Score: 4, Funny

      That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)

      John Lennon said it:

      Like trying to shovel smoke
      with a pitchfork
      in the wind

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    3. Re:"Gag the Internet" by AbbyNormal · · Score: 1, Funny

      CORNY CLICHE MODE ENGAGED...

      "Some m****rf****rs are always trying to ice skate uphill."

      --Wesley Snipes as Blade

        EO CORNY CLICHE MODE...

      --
      Sig it.
    4. Re:"Gag the Internet" by thisissilly · · Score: 5, Funny

      Step 1: Place stick in water. Leave enough to hold on to with both hands poking out.
      Step 2: Freeze the water.
      Step 3: Push the frozen water uphill with the stick.

    5. Re:"Gag the Internet" by gehrehmee · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Gag the Internet" I had no idea Mormons were so kinky.

      --
      "You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help" -- Calvin
    6. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      1. Mormon Church threatens internet
      2. Mormon Church ends up with a new "boyfriend" named Reality
      3. Prophet

    7. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      "Gag the Internet" I had no idea Mormons were so kinky.
      Q: What is the difference between Mormons and Muslims?
      A: Mormons want their 72 virgins now....
    8. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Fishead · · Score: 5, Funny

      My Dad used to always say "Poking butter up a wildcat's ass"

      I find it gives a good mental picture of difficult, and not worth trying.

    9. Re:"Gag the Internet" by skuzzlebutt · · Score: 2, Funny

      If you dig deep enough in the wikileak chain, I think they originally said something about "ball-gag the intern", but you know how the intertubes twist everything all up...

      --
      My debut novel AMITY now available: http://jeremydbrooks.c
    10. Re:"Gag the Internet" by sm62704 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Sounds like time isn't all he had on his hands!

      --
      mcgrew's razor: Never attribute to stupidity that which can be explained by greedy self-interest
    11. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Disclaimer: IAAM So, how does the magic underwear feel?
    12. Re:"Gag the Internet" by Dahamma · · Score: 4, Funny

      My favorite analogy comes from Joe Rogan on News Radio:

      "Dude, you can't take something off the Internet.. that's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool."

    13. Re:"Gag the Internet" by immcintosh · · Score: 2, Funny

      I think the general consensus is that any religion badass enough to require the carrying of a sword should be excused for also mandating magic chastity underwear.

    14. Re:"Gag the Internet" by ins0m · · Score: 3, Funny

      This gives the Sikh a moment to reflect on why he is taking his pants off. Or to take a moment to curse Krodh for that second helping of curry.
      --
      Never attribute to Hanlon that which can be adequately attributed to Heinlein.
  2. South Park Ref. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Mormons trying to gag the internet DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

  3. Re:How come nobody ever learns from this? by dissy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Everyone is trying to limit information on an unlimited information supply. They can't understand what the word unlimited really means. You mean they all work at comcast?

  4. Re:Silly Lawyers... by pipatron · · Score: 4, Funny
    1. * Religious
    2. * Lawyer
    3. * Rational and reasonable

    Something is very wrong with you!

    --
    c++; /* this makes c bigger but returns the old value */
  5. Egypt by flyingfsck · · Score: 5, Funny

    Interesting, I never thought of the old Egyption religions as pyramid schemes, but I suppose they were the first too.

    --
    Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
  6. Re:Silly Lawyers... by zrq · · Score: 4, Funny

    Unless they actually wanted 1000's of unconverted heathens to download and read the document in the hope that a few might be converted.

    A weird kind of inverse spam :

    • Church : "We don't want you to read this"
    • Wikileaks : "Hey everybody, they don't want us to read this"
    • Geeks : "Gotta get a copy of that"

    What else would cause 1000's of geeks and nerds to actively seek out and read a church document.

  7. The Bill Hicks Defense by Layer+3+Ninja · · Score: 4, Funny

    "You guys are christian, right? So forgive me."

    --
    Power corrupts. Absolute power...is even more fun.
  8. Pushing Water Uphill by FurtiveGlancer · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's quite easy, if you freeze the water into the shape of a wheel and put the sharp stick through the middle.

    "What do they teach in the schools these days?"
    --
    Invenio via vel creo
  9. Re:Cult. by pipatron · · Score: 2, Funny

    For example, I'm Jewish.

    Stop invoking Godwin's Law!

    --
    c++; /* this makes c bigger but returns the old value */
  10. Re:Silly Lawyers... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I goto FOSS church every Sunday(LUGs), I read the good book (slashdot), I even witness to the heathen unIntelligent Design followers. I voted for Al Gore damn it! Now you just take your Microsoft loving notions of tolerance and move along! If I don't do it or believe it or like it, then I just know its as evil as Windows, let me get an amen!

  11. Re:Inevitably.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If you have no theology then nothing is a cult, if you do then LDS is a wierd cult. Salvation through geneology, weird underpants, 'secret meetings'...

  12. Re:Inevitably.. by urcreepyneighbor · · Score: 1, Funny

    The "Mormons" in El Dorado weren't the same religion as the "Mormons" in the OP. Oh, get real.

    And speaking of which, "well-documented fraudster" is easy to say as an AC. He was a conman and anyone who claims to be a Mormon today is either intellectually lazy or a conman.

    What say you walk around that cloak of secrecy and provide some first hand accounts of Joseph Smith's fraud? First hand? Wait, what? You mean travel back in time, allow myself to be conned by him, and then come back here and give you a report?

    Ask your Super Daddy in the Sky to send me back in time. I mean, wow, if he can create the universe... certainly he can send me back in time! :)
    --
    "The fight for freedom has only just begun." - Geert Wilders
  13. Re:Silly Lawyers... by pipatron · · Score: 5, Funny

    I goto FOSS church every Sunday

    Heathen! Thou shall not GOTO anywhere!

    --
    c++; /* this makes c bigger but returns the old value */
  14. Re:Inevitably.. by fahrbot-bot · · Score: 4, Funny
    Persons who are considering an elective transsexual operation should not be baptized.

    As opposed to "non-elective" transsexual surgery?

    • Nurse: Doctor! He's going into cardiac arrest.
    • Doctor: Let's get that penis off - stat!
    --
    It must have been something you assimilated. . . .
  15. It's taken care of... by ah.clem · · Score: 2, Funny

    I downloaded the PDF and sent it back to them - problem resolved.

    ah.clem

    --
    "Life is not magic." Dr. Ron Weiss - "If we don't play God, who will?" Dr. James Watson
  16. Re:Silly Lawyers... by inviolet · · Score: 2, Funny

    • Religious
    • Lawyer
    • Rational and reasonable

    Something is very wrong with you!

    Nah. Religion is a rootkit. Once you get it installed, it prevents you from seeing certain files in your filesystem or inspecting certain processes, but your CPU otherwise works normally.

    --
    FATMOUSE + YOU = FATMOUSE
  17. Re:Inevitably.. by Alpha830RulZ · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hm-m-m. Responds to cited source with ad hominum attack. Persuasive? I think not.

    --
    I was taught to respect my elders. The trouble is, it's getting harder and harder to find some.
  18. Mormons Still Practice Plural Marriage by Jizzbug · · Score: 5, Funny

    Also, most Mormons (myself included) believe that the practice of plural marriage will be re-instituted prior to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ (some suspect it will be re-instituted after the collapse of the U.S. economy, when the Saints are called to gather in Zion: Jackson County, Missouri [Kansas City]).

    --

    -=/\- Jizzbug -/\=-
  19. Why do the mormons get picked on so much? by stuntmanmike · · Score: 2, Funny

    Because their mythology is ridiculous and easily disproved.

  20. Hey, at least Wikileaks believes in Mormonism by willutah · · Score: 3, Funny

    From the article, "WikiLeaks will remain a place where people from around the world can safely reveal the truth."

    So as a Mormon I get a warm feeling when I see WikiLeaks equating the church handbook of instructions with truth!

  21. Re:Mencken said it best by DamnStupidElf · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's slightly awkward watching a pagan chew jesus up without knowing it. Some might say there's a lack of propriety in such an act. Sort of like sneaking veal into a vegan's tofu burger. Not to mention, jesus has to sit around in some unbeliever's gut for a day or two. He has better things to do. Just bring your own Spaghetti or Unicorn Flakes to mass if you want to participate.

  22. EULAs by Rob+the+Bold · · Score: 3, Funny

    The reason that happens is 1) Receiving the Eucharist during Communion is a sign of unity. If you're not Catholic, it'd be contradictory to that unative message to recieve it and 2)a Biblically-based belief that people who receive Jesus's Body and Blood (which is what Catholics hold that it really and truly is) unworthily, that is, either in a state of disbelief or in a state of great sin, basically bring a bunch of bad things down on themselves. So it's a theologically protective measure, and it applies to Catholics as well.
    Man, leave it to the Catholics to attach a EULA to the Eucharist.
    --
    I am not a crackpot.