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Total Phone and Email Database Proposed In UK

mishmash writes "The Times of London is reporting a proposal for a massive government database holding details of all phone calls, emails, and time spent on the Internet. This is to be justified as being 'part of the fight against crime and terrorism.' Quoting: 'Internet service providers and telecoms companies would hand over the records to the Home Office under plans put forward by officials.' If you want to write to representatives to let them know your views, contact details are available at Write to Them." UK telecoms are already required to keep records of phone calls and text messages for 12 months, accessible by subpoena; the requirement is already slated to expand to records of Internet usage, emails, and VoIP. This new proposal aims to centralize all that information in a single database in the Home Office.

18 of 434 comments (clear)

  1. Useless information by flyingfsck · · Score: 3, Funny

    What on earth is this going to be good for?

    --
    Excuse me, but please get off my Pennisetum Clandestinum, eh!
    1. Re:Useless information by Brian+Gordon · · Score: 4, Funny

      Stopping terrorists...

    2. Re:Useless information by Finallyjoined!!! · · Score: 5, Funny

      Huh? Isn't it obvious; so they can lose the entire database in the post.

      --
      If I had an Ass, I'd call it Fanny Bottom, then I could slap my Ass; Fanny Bottom, on the Arse.
  2. Re:Mr. Orwell! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mr. Orwell can be reached at 1-BIG-BRO-THER. That's 1-984-BRO-THER.

  3. Heh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    In soviet UK, database injects you?

  4. Re:awesome by John3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Every month or two I make it a point to send a few long emails encrypted with PGP and with suggestive subject lines like "Schematics for trigger device" and "The Revolution Starts Now" to my Gmail or Hotmail account. The message content is just pasted Chuck Norris jokes, so if someone decides to spend some time and energy breaking the encryption at least they'll have something to read.

    --
    "We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers." Carl Sagan
  5. Re:Who exactly is proposing this? by mrsteveman1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Damn facts...getting in the way of a good rant....fuckers

  6. Re:Mr. Orwell! by caitsith01 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Actually, under this proposal Mr Orwell can be reached by calling pretty much anyone, thanks to the OMNI-CALL system operated by MiniLove.

    Simply dial any random number and deliver your message to whoever answers. Give it a little while and the relevant catchwords will be identified and stored in the central database for easy retrieval by unaccountable government drones. 'Correctional' officers will then be dispatched to visit you and 'correct' your views on certain matters.

    --
    Read Pynchon.
  7. I don't think this is good enough by joe+user+jr · · Score: 2, Funny

    How can we be safe from criminals and terrorists while we still retain the ability to communicate face to face without full disclosure to our loyal public servants?

    I regard it as not only highly desirable but a moral duty to provide the contents of all non-electronically-mediated conversations - ideally a full video or audio recording would be made available, but at the very least a transcript or precis.

    I just don't know how one could claim to be an upstanding citizen without providing such.

    --
    .sigs: Just Say No!
  8. Re:awesome by Hojima · · Score: 3, Funny

    enjoy reading my encrypted traffic and voip phone calls. Don't forget that in the UK, you must hand over encryption keys on demand or face jail time. This has been the law for some time over there. What encryption key? I happen to send arbitrary data to all my friends.
  9. Re:awesome by couchslug · · Score: 2, Funny

    You'll be sorry when they send Chuck to Gitmo!

    --
    "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
  10. I don't think so by slyborg · · Score: 3, Funny

    Guantanamo Bay was created when Chuck roundhouse-kicked Cuba in the face during the Cuban Missile Crisis and so terrified Castro he begged Khrushchev to remove the missiles.

    So *now* you know.

  11. Re:awesome by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The message content is just pasted Chuck Norris jokes

    You're doing it wrong

  12. Re:awesome by moderatorrater · · Score: 4, Funny

    "We're got a problem here, Johnson. If this Chuck Norris device can do even half of what this email claims it can do, we're onto the biggest terrorist plot in history!"

    "Agreed. Hopefully he hasn't finished that triggering mechanism or we're all screwed!"

  13. Re:awesome by cjb658 · · Score: 2, Funny

    This is of course, is all bullshit. With the exponentially rising number of bits that are being shoved around the internet these days, it would be trivially easy to hide terrorist instructions in on a bit torrent DL, a usenet post, a youtube video, or a flickr picture. And if you're a really creative terrorist you can even use encryption!

    At least we won't have to worry about making backups anymore.

  14. Re:Mr. Orwell! by ductonius · · Score: 5, Funny

    Mr.Orwell! A telephone call for Mr.Orwell ....
    Maybe something like this.

    Loudspeaker: Paging Mr.Orwell. Mr.Orwell to the nearest white courtesy phone.
    Orwell: Hmmm... Ok.... Um... there's a sign here that says 'Courtesy Phone', but the phone is black.
    Loudspeaker: No, the courtesy phone is white.
    Orwell: No, it's black.
    Loudspeaker: It's white.
    Orwell: It's black. It's the same color as my suit and watchband.
    Loudspeaker: I don't know how you could be so mistaken. It's clearly white.
    Orwell: How can you not know your black courtesy phones are black?
    Loudspeaker: It's white.
    Orwell: It's black.
    Loudspeaker: Paging the nearest Civil Protection Team. Civil Protection Team to the nearest white courtesy phone.

  15. Re:Seriously, what is wrong with the United Kingdo by Venik · · Score: 2, Funny

    Britain stood alone against fascism? A bastion against the Soviets? I am not surprised your government wants to keep a close eye on you. An island nation with an ego like that definitely requires close supervision.

  16. You question the motives of our dear leaders? by Stanislav_J · · Score: 2, Funny

    But don't you understand? All this -- the surveillance, the monitoring, the foolproof IDs -- is going to ultimately eliminate crime in the UK and enable everyone to live in blissful peace and safety and harmony, correct? I mean, hasn't crime already slowed to a trickle because of all the CCTV and stuff?

    What? It hasn't? But...but...how could this not work? I thought for sure...

    Unless.....maybe this has nothing to do with battling crime and terrorism, but instead to establish total control over the lives of citizens? NO!!! NO!!! Perish the thought...not in a Western Democracy...we have freedom and all that other good stuff, not like those nasty totalitarian regimes, right? Must...eliminate...negative...thinking....all is well...all is well....all is well.....

    --
    "Every great cause begins as a movement, becomes a business, and eventually degenerates into a racket." -- Eric Hoffer