Slashdot Mirror
Prototype EU Airplane Spy Cams Watch For Facecrime
I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "You can't make stuff like this up. The EU is actually testing a prototype system of cameras in airplanes to monitor passengers' facial expressions in order to detect both terrorism and 'air rage.' The Security of Aircraft in the Future European Environment (SAFEE) project used an Airbus A380 fuselage with six wide-angle cameras to watch for people running or loitering near the cockpit door, as well as a camera in the back of every seat to watch for facecrime like sweating too much, or acting nervous. But that's okay, because the system won't alert anyone until it sees a 'combination of signs,' instead of just one stray expression, or they might accidentally catch a lot of people who are afraid of flying or of being watched."
Find what makes it tick and have as many people do "facecrime" or whatever gobbledygook they call it. 30 people doing something weird (not illegal and not evil) would do some funny things on an airplane.
I'm thinking of something like that Improv group in New York City and their shenanigans.
Whiting out your face won't make a difference, I'd go with the old trusty tinfoil hat.
Disclaimer: I am not god.
We may not be created equal
But we can be treated equal.
See, you're a perfect example of the 'air rage' they're trying to stamp out. How dare you be angry about flying coach.
finally, a way to discover those who are thinking criminal thoughts!
I bet it even works 5-10% of the time.
"No maam, I don't know how that tape got there, maybe someone was trying to fix something.
Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Sky marshal pulls a gun on me thinking I'm a terrorist just because after two hours of the little bastard behind me screaming and crying and kicking my seat, I finally get the wrong combination of facial expressions when my mp3 player battery dies...
An I.T. motto in the hands of an idiot is a dangerous thing...
A camera in every seat back is another example of the government's efforts to identify and then marginalize nose pickers.
...and move all air travel over to the Mr T model: dope the passengers senseless at the airport, pack the unconscious bodies in like sides of meat and wake 'em up at the destination airport.
Oh, wait - you wouldn't be able to sell them duty free & Skymall would go out of business. Darn.
In a survey of 100 programmers, 111111 thought that duck-typing was a good idea.
>a full body-cavity search
This happens to you on a regular basis?
What the heck are you saying to the nice TSA folks?
You can't talk about Wikipedia's flaws on Wikipedia
My grandfather was commissioned into the Navy in 1936 as a pilot. My great uncle flew the China Clipper and was a Pan-Am pilot for 30 years. My father is a retired airline pilot with over 20 years. I took flying lessons from when I was 12 to when I was 17 (I was supposed to solo the Saturday following Sept. 11, however that fucked everything up and I never got my lesson).
I even have some time logged behind the stick of a DASH-8 that my dad snuck me in to ferry between Newport News and Norfolk airports one time when I was 13 (only crew members on board, no "passengers").
Its not that I don't like flying. However, I **HATE** to fly commercially. The seats are uncomfortable, the air is stale, babies scream, people cough and sneeze, etc.
I always look pissed off on airlines and in airports, because I usually am. Of course, most of the flights I've taken in the past were as a non-rev and the crew knew my dad, so I was nice to them and they were nice to me, too.
Frankly, I think the people who **DON'T** look like they're about to kill someone are the ones you need to watch out for. There is probably something wrong with them as they clearly enjoy pain and discomfort.
(No offense to Allah, he probably made the cute girl in the next row.)
The state you are in while your HEAD is detached... - wait, what?
> a camera in the back of every seat to watch for facecrime
> like sweating too much, or acting nervous
"Hey, that guy is sweating like a pig. He may be about to leap up and attack!"
"Nah, look at his wife's hand. He's just joining the Mile High Club."
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
Silly nervous kids! If they blew themselves up for the glory of Allah, he would guarantee them 72 cute virgin girls all to themselves for eternity in paradise.
Talking of which, every time Mustafa blows himself up, 72 innocent virgins die, by definition.
Stick Men
You could have made the effort to get it right then. It's not hard, for fuck's sake!
ever wonder why the muslim afterlife is full of virgins? must be the ug-o's
"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." - Evelyn Beatrice Hall, re Voltaire
Least we'll know where to go for the world's largest collection of bums (butts) and boobs pictures.
And people with a fear of flying wouldn't ever be nervous or agitated.
Wow, those long wait on the runway are going to get interesting. Will Wesley Snipes' stunt double cut his way in through the roof to take out the guy in 27B/B? I say "on the runway" because presumably that's the only useful time to identify and confront Mr Twitchy, unless the intention is to sound a little chime and ask the passengers to form a lynch mob in flight.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Allah does not allow defloration of the greeters.
Modding Trolls +1 inciteful since 1999
Tell her Richard Dean Anderson is aboard, and the landing gear is better than ever.
Modding Trolls +1 inciteful since 1999
>> a full body-cavity search
>
> This happens to you on a regular basis?
>
> What the heck are you saying to the nice TSA folks?
Please ?
See, I have a theory -- they must be actual virgins in every respect. I imagine the sexual encounters resemble something like this:
"Your gonna do WHAT? Your gonna put that thing WHERE?"
"Ouch! Ow! That hurts! Stop that! Ow!"
"Your done already?"
See, they think it's paradise but it's actually hell ;)
is that like, picking your nose?
The whole digitization thing is a pain though. What with all the giant laser dividing you up in cubes and all. Also the spandex uniform you have to wear is not easy on the ego. Though it is pretty cool how the flight attendants worship you like a god and you get inexplicable superpowers.
Raspberry!!
Fitting Family Guy Clip
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31286061
I'm with Billy Connolly. I'll take 2 dirty slags over 70 virgins ANY day.
"Physics is to math as sex is to masturbation." -R. Feynman
Lock the wife and the dog in the boot of the car.
Return one hour later.
Who's happy to see you?