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Best Way To Get Back a Stolen Computer?

Posted by kdawson on from the aiding-lawn-forcement dept.

davidphogan74 writes "I have some stolen computers checking in with a server we have (software pre-loaded), and I have full access to the systems. What's the best way to deal with this situation? The local police (to the theft) have been contacted several times and seem to be clueless. I personally have no financial interest in these computers, I just don't like atom-thieves. What's the best way to handle knowing the IPs, email addresses, MySpace sites, the Google login, etc. when working with law enforcement? The officer I spoke with (who genuinely seemed to care) didn't know an IP address from a mailing address, so I called others. Nobody cared. Anyone have any ideas?"

13 of 482 comments (clear)

  1. You need to go beyond the law. by FlyingSquidStudios · · Score: 5, Funny

    You need Snake Plissken.

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    1. Re:You need to go beyond the law. by kidyomo · · Score: 5, Funny

      Snake Plissken? I heard he was dead.

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    2. Re:You need to go beyond the law. by JDWTopGuy · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, but I thought he'd be taller.

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      Ron Paul 2012
  2. Change the background pic by Timo_UK · · Score: 5, Funny

    to Goatse?

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  3. Treat it as an Open Source problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Become a cop and solve it yourself.

    1. Re:Treat it as an Open Source problem by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      If it's an open source problem, it's very likely that it's already been fixed in CVS. Just make sure you have the latest GCC (GNU Crimefighting Compiler) and when you do run your autoconfig, make, make install, be sure to run it in a chroot jail.

  4. xkcd has the answer by PinkyDead · · Score: 5, Funny

    Something similiar to: http://www.xkcd.com/440/

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  5. Set it to download kiddie porn... by ClarisseMcClellan · · Score: 5, Funny

    If the police will not help you then set it to up/download dubious content. They will be round like a shot. You might get nicked visiting a FBI kiddie-porn honey trap during your research for this though...
    Maybe try the RIAA. Claim that it has downloaded an Amy Winehouse track or something like that.

  6. Re:Across State lines? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or make the computers send a death threat to each member of the congress and executive office (including the candidates) then the FBI moves in, and at the impounded auction you can buy it back for pennies on the dollar.

  7. PowerSolution by Archon-X · · Score: 5, Funny

    Call the cops back, tell them not to worry about following up the theft, as you just went around and shot the thief.

    See how fast they scuttle ;)

  8. Re:You need to use the police to get the ISP's inf by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you have monitoring software on the computer, just wait until they do some sort of financial transaction using the company machine.

    Then just use the info to order a few dozen more PC's at their expense, and send them an email saying you won't tell if they won't.

  9. Obvious by Ctrl-Z · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

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  10. Re:Across State lines? by JoeMirando · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or make the computers send a death threat to each member of the congress and executive office (including the candidates)...

    I've got to admit that this appeals to me. Just don't sign it "Osama" or mention WMDs... It seems there are some things they're just not interested in finding. [g]