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Hans Reiser Leads Police To Nina's Body

jlmcgraw was the first to alert us that Hans Reiser has led police to the location in the Oakland Hills where he buried the body of his wife Nina. (We discussed the rumor that he would do so last month.) SFGate.com reports that remains were recovered but have not yet been identified. Reiser is to be sentenced on Wednesday. CBS5 claims that Reiser made a deal for a reduced sentence, to 15 years, in exchange for revealing the body.

75 of 1,523 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Okay there you go by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes.

  2. Re:Okay there you go by ergo98 · · Score: 5, Funny

    All you people who said "I still don't believe Hans did it" -- do you doubt it now?

    The guy was persecuted for being a little strange, which is an outrage. Oh, and he also killed his wife.

  3. Re:Goddamnit, here they come by mixmatch · · Score: 2, Funny

    queue?

  4. Re:Sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hans shot first

  5. Re:I can only hope by JebusIsLord · · Score: 3, Funny

    How very Christian of you.

    --
    Jeremy
  6. Re:He duped the great majority of us... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    He buried her in pudding?

  7. Re:Choice of file system by DrEldarion · · Score: 5, Funny

    This is just one more thing for the 15 year olds who think they're e-badasses because they use Linux to brag about.

    "Oh yeah? Who designed your WinBlow$ file system? Just some monopolist? My file system was designed by a murderer. I totally have you beat."

  8. Re:Okay there you go by dark+whole · · Score: 4, Funny

    Before, though, there wasn't even any definitive proof anyone had died. I thought that was kind of a prerequisite for charging someone with murder.

    You must be new here.

    --
    CORPORATION, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
  9. Re:rest in peace by mrbluze · · Score: 3, Funny

    there is nothing more sad then the Truth

    ...then the Truth what?

    --
    Do it yourself, because no one else will do it yourself. [beta blockade 10-17 Feb]
  10. Re:Choice of file system by ActusReus · · Score: 4, Funny

    I'm going to hell for laughing at this.

  11. Re:Sad by SoCalChris · · Score: 5, Funny
  12. Re:Okay there you go by badasscat · · Score: 5, Funny

    I mean, he knew where the body was buried.

    Lucky guess!

  13. Re:This makes me sad by ShaunC · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fuck you, ShaunC.

    Don't you mean "fsck you?"

    --
    Thanks to the War on Drugs, it's easier to buy meth than it is to buy cold medicine!
  14. Re:He duped the great majority of us... by NightFears · · Score: 5, Funny

    The correct English idiom is a bit different: the proof of the pudding is in eating. It is interesting to note that the idiom is paradoxical. What proof would remain, if youa ate Nina's body?

  15. NOT GUILTY by twistah · · Score: 2, Funny

    This case is all based on circumstantial evidence. I mean, first we're convicting people based on the books they read, and now on the bodies they can find! FREE PAUL REISER!!

  16. Re:Sad by ScrewMaster · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, no question it's a killer filesystem.

    --
    The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
  17. Re:Still could be innocent by 2.7182 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe he was angry with her because she was having an affair. He bought a gun out of anger, but didn't want to kill her. He goes home, to find her with her lover. In a struggle with the lover, the lover the lover wrests the gun from Hans. He's got the gun pointed at Hans, who reveals that his wife has in fact ANOTHER lover. In anger, the lover shoots Nina and flees. Hans has no idea who he was, and Nina dies sadly in his arms. The only way he can avoid blame for the murder (having just legally purchased the gun) is to bury Nina himself. In the end, Hans feels responsible for her death, having driven her away from him due to his obsession with work, and of course, the foolish decision to buy the guy. He sees only too late that he should forgiven her for such a minor human flaw, and if he had, then he would still be with her.

  18. Re:Goddamnit, here they come by Z34107 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Good thing he was journaling. We can just dismount his wife and restore her to a known-working version... questionmark?!

    --
    DATABASE WOW WOW
  19. Re:Bad News for Geeks by eclectro · · Score: 2, Funny

    With things like this coming out, it is going to be much, much harder to find a wonderful woman.

    Because they are all dead?

    --
    Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
  20. Re:Still could be innocent by flanksteak · · Score: 5, Funny

    Was Fabio on the cover of this book?

  21. Re:Okay there you go by bh_doc · · Score: 2, Funny

    If, upon discovering the body, Hans said something along the lines of "Holy shit! WTF?! There was actually a body there?!" I'd be more inclined to believe the "lucky guess" story.

  22. Re:Still could be innocent by The+Iso · · Score: 5, Funny

    If I were separated from my wife and bound by a restraining order, and she was having sex with her new lover IN MY HOUSE, I would probably kill her, too.

    --
    "You don't need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows." - Bob Dylan
  23. Jokes in bad taste by RudeIota · · Score: 5, Funny
    After his relationship became fragmented Resier rm'oved his wife by forking her to death and packed her tail in a shallow grave he allocated in the dirt near some trees. He was almost unlinked to the case, but he really fsck'd up afterward, because the fool wrote all the details of the murder in his journal!

    After being out-of-order in court, he spilled the encryptic details about where his wife was stored and from there on, the jury knew he was corrupted. Strangely enough, due to his cooperation, officials didn't even have to raid his home...

    You know what though...? inode he was a criminal all along.

    There, I'm glad to have gotten that out of my system.

    --
    Fact: Everything I say is fiction.
    1. Re:Jokes in bad taste by Zorque · · Score: 1, Funny

      I don't care what anyone says, I laughed.

  24. Re:I hope he gets to make Ext4 from jail by Darinbob · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, part of his punishment should be being forced to maintain a file system that he feels is inferior.

  25. Re:Why throw the baby out with the bath water? by antibryce · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm a pro-slavery nazi, you insensitive clod!

  26. Re:He duped the great majority of us... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    she had it coming.

  27. Re:This makes me sad by Whatanut · · Score: 2, Funny

    A living person is better than a dead person any day

    The Darwin Awards suggest otherwise...

    --

    yvan eht nioj
  28. Re:Bad News for Geeks by tomhudson · · Score: 4, Funny

    With things like this coming out, it is going to be much, much harder to find a wonderful woman.

    Because they are all dead?

    You can always ask Hans to dig one up for you ...

  29. Re:This makes me sad by keeboo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fuck you, ShaunC.

    Don't you mean "fsck you?"

    Man, the guy has a journal.

  30. Re:Okay there you go by flibuste · · Score: 5, Funny

    Debian randomness!

  31. Re:This makes me sad by Z34107 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Agree. I think where he went wrong was killing his wife. Also, optimizing for edge cases which rarely appear standard operation...

    --
    DATABASE WOW WOW
  32. most appropraite tag EVAR by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    storage

  33. Re:Still could be innocent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember to enable soft updates before executing this plan.

  34. Re:This makes me sad by arth1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Good luck? The man is a fucking murderer. I don't care if he's fucking Linux God and able to write programs just by looking at them, he's a despicable human being and deserves no luck at this point.

    Luck doesn't work on a deserve-basis. Luck is blind, and with an arbitrary large group of fucking murderers, as many of them will have good luck as those who'll have bad luck. If you wish one fucking murderer bad luck and your wish comes true, statistically another fucking murderer will have good luck.

    You're possibly confusing luck with karma?

  35. Re:Okay there you go by beav007 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Lucky guess!

    No, he found the location in his journal...

  36. Oblig. Simpsons ref. by mfnickster · · Score: 5, Funny

    If Reiser was less of an asshole during his trial he would have literally gotten away with murder

    Yes, I remember it well... particularly when he jumped up and shouted:

    "It's chowdah! CHOWDAH!! Say it RIGHT!!!"

    "I'll kill you-- I'll kill all of you, especially those of you in the jury!!!"

    --
    "Slow down, Cowboy! It has been 3 years, 7 months and 26 days since you last successfully posted a comment."
  37. Re:Sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    They say a girl should always dress for the man she wants
    so why am I laying here thin and bare and gaunt?
    It's all because some hacker came and murdered me
    So now I'm being dug up so he can cop a plea

    I should have gone to free credit report dot com
    I could have seen him comin at me like an atom bomb
    They monitor your credit and send you email alearts
    So you don't end up being used as wormfood in the dirt.

  38. Re:Sad by TooMuchToDo · · Score: 4, Funny
    But did it lead you to where they were buried? =)

    What, too soon?

  39. Re:Google Maps anyone? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Oh, great, this has now become a rather grotesque version of Geocaching.

  40. Excellent journalling by Gothmolly · · Score: 1, Funny

    So after all this time, with all the shenanigans that went on, he can recover her body? Talk about a robust journalling algorithm !

    --
    I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
  41. Re:Still could be innocent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    He is the O .J. Simpson of nerds. We can't believe he's guilty because he's one of us.

    "IF I did not do it", a replay

  42. Re:Still could be innocent by markov_chain · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ohyes oh yes oh yes oh yes

    They both reached for the gun!

    --
    Tsunami -- You can't bring a good wave down!
  43. Re:I guess this means he falls under the messy typ by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The urge to divide everything into two -- black or white, friend or enemy, capitalism or communism, christian or heathen, disorganized or organized -- is a recognized mental oddity.

    In most cases, there is not only a sliding scale (or shades of grey, if you like), but multiple axes.

    So there are people who divide everything into two, and those who do not?

  44. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 1, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  45. Re:Okay there you go by Joebert · · Score: 4, Funny

    At least until the body is positively identified (perhaps by DNA testing) to be that of Nina Reiser's, for all I know this is some ploy/maneuvering by the defense attorney (who had more than ample time to tell Reiser what he was planning) in order to reduce Reiser's sentence.

    The only way I can see that having a chance in hell is if the instructions to find the body looked like this

    Head about 20 miles down road A untill you come across a really large oak tree, you'll know it's the right tree because underneath it there will be a large piece of granite with the word "Cementery" chisled into the face of it. I think it's an old cement factory that went out of business because there's tons of cement and granite blocks with names chisled into them.
    Anyways, go back 23 stones then turn left and go over another 47 stones & that's where you'll find a body.

    --
    Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
  46. Re:Still could be innocent by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 4, Funny

    Instead of that, try making ReiserFS NOT a total piece of crap. It sucked, and it always has. Reiser was a huge abusive turd, and so are his fans.

    Now THAT's how to start a flamewar. Amateur.

    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  47. Re:Still could be innocent by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 2, Funny
    --
    Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
  48. Re:I guess this means he falls under the messy typ by mickeyhill · · Score: 2, Funny

    In most cases, there is not only a sliding scale (or shades of grey, if you like), but multiple axes.

    He used axes? I thought he shot her.

  49. Re:I guess this means he falls under the messy typ by ari_j · · Score: 3, Funny

    There are only two types of people in the world: Those who see gray areas and those who only see black and white.

  50. Re:Still could be innocent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    Assholes, this is a real person with a real family, not some fucking Manga or Anime or video game.

    Well when I play "video games" (as you so quaintly put it) I always make sure to imagine that it is a real person with a real family before pulling the trigger!

  51. Re:Northy or Southy? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hans has a black belt in judo, he'll survive better than another nerd might.

  52. Re:Still could be innocent by Zontar+The+Mindless · · Score: 2, Funny

    IOW: Occam, meet razor.

    --
    Il n'y a pas de Planet B.
  53. Re:Sad by menkhaura · · Score: 3, Funny

    Judge: "Why did you kill your wife, and not her lover?"
    Defendant: "What would be better? That I killed only my wife, or a dozen other men?"

    --
    Stupidity is an equal opportunity striker.
    Fellow slashdotter Bill Dog
  54. Re:Okay there you go by x2A · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hell yeah! I firmly believe Bill Gates killed his wife, despite all evidence, like her still being alive, saying otherwise!

    --
    The revolution will not be televised... but it will have a page on Wikipedia
  55. Re:Still could be innocent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, Hans was so much smarter than everyone else. Now he's going to go to prison for 15-to-life - and lying to the court as Reiser did means his parole hearings aren't going to go well for him, if he even survives 15 years in prison.

    So sad. I wonder if they'll make him serve his time in the superblock?

  56. Re:Still could be innocent by The+Bender · · Score: 5, Funny

    You might be wanting the "Post Anonymously" button there, dude...

  57. Re:Northy or Southy? by johnny+cashed · · Score: 3, Funny

    Hans has a black belt in judo, he'll survive better than another nerd might.

    I'm sure a black belt in judo is the surest way to a gang raping in prison. Come on, it's judo. We're talking about prison.

  58. Re:Sad by B3ryllium · · Score: 5, Funny

    Should've gone with BeFS. At least the filesystem is indexed and instantly searchable.

  59. Re:Sad by menace3society · · Score: 2, Funny

    The Reiser koan:
    Three crazy people set up a bizarre love triangle/business. One murders his wife, the second kills eight others and maybe a ninth, and the third is dead. Who is the more guilty?

    Or maybe it should be a joke line:
    A hacker, a Russian mail-order bride, and a bisexual serial killer into bondage walk into a bar...

  60. Re:Closure by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why this modern obsession with "closure"? It's almost as if

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  61. Re:Sad by Trepidity · · Score: 3, Funny

    And it has plenty of experience with being dead and buried, too.

  62. He's not one of us by Freaky+Spook · · Score: 4, Funny

    We can't believe he's guilty because he's one of us.

    No he's not one of us, he had a wife. Hand in your geek card on the way out.

  63. Re:Sad by Opportunist · · Score: 3, Funny

    Most definitly. I stopped drinking OJ right after the trials...

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  64. Re:Okay there you go by Atti+K. · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...it was in lost+found.

    --
    .sig: No such file or directory
  65. Re:Goddamnit, here they come by Opportunist · · Score: 4, Funny

    (sigh) When will people learn? You should NEVER mount something you don't trust anymore. It can really mess up your whole system.

    --
    We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
  66. Re:Still could be innocent by Fastball · · Score: 4, Funny

    If the glove isn't 64-bit, you must acquit.

  67. Re:Sad by KDR_11k · · Score: 2, Funny

    I could fork it today and call it VegetableFS.

    How about SchiavoFS?

    --
    Justice is the sheep getting arrested while an impartial judge declares the vote void.
  68. Re:Sad by antime · · Score: 2, Funny

    One of the things Hans and Nina fought over was him letting their son play violent videogames. In conclusion, proprietary software kills.

  69. Free? by EnsilZah · · Score: 2, Funny

    Free as in beer or free as in speech?

  70. Re:Still could be innocent by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe he was angry with her because she was having an affair. He bought a gun out of anger, but didn't want to kill her. He goes home, to find her with her lover. In a struggle with the lover, the lover the lover wrests the gun from Hans. He's got the gun pointed at Hans, who reveals that his wife has in fact ANOTHER lover. In anger, the lover shoots Nina and flees. Hans has no idea who he was, and Nina dies sadly in his arms. The only way he can avoid blame for the murder (having just legally purchased the gun) is to bury Nina himself. In the end, Hans feels responsible for her death, having driven her away from him due to his obsession with work, and of course, the foolish decision to buy the guy. He sees only too late that he should forgiven her for such a minor human flaw, and if he had, then he would still be with her.

    You left out the part where he's tutoring a small-time crook in prison and that crook says he shared a cell with another con who claimed he murdered some computer geek's wife and now the geek is doing time for the murder. Hans would have started helping out the guards with their computer problems, then the warden gets him involved in a lucrative spamming operation that rakes in millions under the table. And after the warden has the tutored con killed, Hans plots his escape through a storm sewer, withdrawing all the profits from the bank and mailing a package to the papers implicating the warden in spam and murder.

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
  71. Re:Still could be innocent by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    We didn't get it because we don't know what the fuck you're talking about. Most likely because we aren't the kind of guys that go to musicals. You might have better luck in the Apple section.

  72. Re:Still could be innocent by servognome · · Score: 2, Funny

    He picked her out of a mail-order bride catalog, where she was advertised as "5279 Nina."

    I've always prefered 867-5309 Jenny Myself

    --
    D6 63 0D 70 89 81 BB 8E 7B 7C 5F 5D 54 EA AB 73
  73. Re:Sad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'd say bullet-proof it. He might be coming back to take it out next.

  74. Re:Northy or Southy? by corbettw · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...he'll be overconfident and at a disadvantage.

    Hans Reiser, overconfident? Nooooo.

    --
    God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.