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DHS Official Considered Shock Collars For Air Travelers

Posted by timothy on from the kip-hawley-please-to-the-red-discourtesy-phone dept.

"The Washington Times is reporting that the DHS wants to replace your boarding pass with a GPS-enabled shock bracelet. Plans for the device include subduing passengers remotely as well as onboard interrogation. There's even a promotional video." Perhaps Paul Ruwaldt (the official named in this story) has been watching "The Coneheads" a bit too much, or not actually flying enough. Expressing interest is not quite the same as ordering mass quantities, but it's scary enough.

9 of 673 comments (clear)

  1. Shocking ! by trolltalk.com · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought that air travel was punishment enough already!

    --
    Kevin Smith on Prince
  2. The Onion by LexMortis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hahaha, man.. The Onion has the best articles!

    Hahaha... wait, wtf?!

    %#$$%#@!!!

  3. Oh no by Peter_The_Linux_Nerd · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't care about the shock collars, but for the love of god don't run the system on windows.

  4. Instead of shocking people with a collar by MillionthMonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...why not just show them Slashdot's new interface?

  5. Re:Nothing to see here, move along by gnick · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why did this fake story even get posted?

    Because it's amusing? If only they had tagged it with a Monty-Python style foot and posted it to 'idle' so that we had some indication that it was silly instead of serious news...

    --
    He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
  6. Re:WTF? by megaditto · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, TSA-mandated 12" exploding buttplugs would be scary. (which is what it'll take for the public to wake up)

    Shock collar boarding passes are merely funny.

    --
    Obama likes poor people so much, he wants to make more of them.
  7. Re:Dangerous slide by EdIII · · Score: 5, Funny

    Yeah, go waaaay beyond "papers please" and treat *all* of your citizens as criminals when they travel.

    Yeah, go waaaay beyond "papers please" and treat *all* of your citizens as animals when they travel.

    There. Fixed that for you.

  8. Re:Dangerous slide by erudified · · Score: 5, Funny

    The truth is that another hijacking is unlikely to happen.

    Wrong!

    If they put a shock collar on me, I'd blow the damn plane up on general principle.

  9. My work here is done by jamrock · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I don't think"

    I found the problem with your post.