Slashdot Mirror
LucasArts Embargoes "Clone Wars" Reviews
An anonymous reader writes "George Lucas CGI 'Clone Wars' movie has premiered to reviews ranging from MSNBC's 'Ugly animation and an uninspired storyline drag down the film' to AintItCool's 'I hated the film. HATED IT. REALLY HATED IT.' Critics have noted the animation style, music and slapstick humor had more than a passing similarity to Pixar's Toy Story, and wondered if the introduction of new action figures (sorry, characters) like Baby Jabba Hutt and Jabba the Hutt's Gay Uncle may have taken the franchise a bridge too far.
Lucas responding by enforcing an embargo, forcing the reviews to be taken down. While sites like AintItCool.com responded, by then it was just a little too late.
Still, the CGI eye candy will make it popular with kids. If the 'Clone Wars' movie can't save the galaxy, can it at least save the franchise?"
You young whippersnappers! Back in my day, all we had to hate were the Ewoks! And we liked it that way!
Chelloveck
I give up on debugging. From now on, SIGSEGV is a feature.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
You say that Star Wars shouldn't be made into a cartoon for children? And you also say jar-jar binks was a bad idea for the series?
That doesn't make any sense. Okay look, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!
Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this review? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this review! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a slashdotter defending a major mistake in starwars history, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're sitting there in the move theater reviewing this movie, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed review, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit!
Mmm... Six. Did you see the episode where her girlfriend, Seven ate Nine?
The Constitution ... an elegant document for a more civilized age.
The Mongrel Dogs Who Teach
It's one thing to suspend disbelief, but that movie suspends believability
Yeah, cuz all the other Star Wars movies were much more believable ;)
I mean, what kind of self-respecting galactic overlord would have a throne room without a deep reactor pit of death in it?
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
Personally I want an updated "Tie Fighter" game, that was probably their best sim.
But do you really want TIE Fighter II, TIE Fighter II' Champion Edition, TIE Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting, Super TIE Fighter II: The New Challengers, Super TIE Fighter II Turbo, and Super TIE Fighter II Turbo HD Remix?
The more you tighten your grip, LucasArts, the more reviewers will slip through your fingers.
> Only the very first missions are actually flown in a no-shields TIE-Fighter.
> Later you get to fly TIEs with shields
Darth Vader: Admiral Pooet
Admiral Pooet: Yes, Lord Vader?
Vader: Whose bright idea was it to send out recruits in ships without proper shielding?
Admiral Pooet: It was mine, Lord Vader. They didn't deserve it because then it would be too easy to accomplish their missions.
Vader: And this lead to the loss of hundreds of thousands of these fighters?
Admiral Pooet: Yyyy...essss.
Vader: The Empire has vast resources, Admiral, but not infinite ones. Have you never heard the old saying that if you find yourself in a fair fight, you haven't done your homework?
(Pooet collapses)
Vader: Admiral Foopfoop?
Admiral Foopfoop: (visibly uncomfortable) Yes, Lord Vader?
Vader: Please send for Moff Krunktor. I wish to discuss with him sending out recruit stormtroopers with defective blasters that have a tough killing those little squeeky mouse/doggie robots in fewer than 8 hits.
Foopfoop: Yes, Lord Vader.
Vader: (To himself) Which reminds me, I have to go have a "chat" with the Sith Academy teacher on Korriban. I don't like these pathetic lightsabers the young Sith are using which can't seem to effortlessly cut through a metal sword or suit of armor, to say nothing of melting a huge hole in a reinforced door.
(-1: Post disagrees with my already-settled worldview) is not a valid mod option.
He took a perfectly good storyline and threw it in the trash
Ain't It Cool said something I have been saying for years. What the original Star Wars films had that made them work was Lucas' wife giving good input and reigning him in.
Now days there is no one who can tell George Lucas something is a bad idea. Midiclorians? Sure great! Yoda with a 6 pack jumping around like a frog in a blender. Cool, go for it Geroge.
Once upon a time he had a wife who could tell him no more blow jobs till he pulls that kind of crap out of his scripts. Now they are divorced and we are left to suffer.
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