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Jail 'Greedy' Scam Victims, Says Nigerian Diplomat
AcidAUS writes with this nearly unbelievable snippet from today's Sydney Morning Herald: "The Nigerian high commissioner in Australia says people who are ripped off by so-called Nigerian scams are just as guilty as the fraudsters and should be jailed. Responding to a story in yesterday's Herald, which revealed Australians lose at least $36 million a year to the online scams, Sunday Olu Agbi said Australians had failed to heed repeated warnings not to deal with shady characters on the internet."
If all the stupid people are put in jail, then it's gonna be very lonely out here.
If only there was a big island somewhere where we could send all these idiots.
"Tell me doctor, with all of your defenses, are there any provisions for an attack by killer bees?"
SCO is also part of the internet scam sphere. Jail SCO victims too.
Mate, My name is Steve Oakland of Sydney Australia. Recently I have received a large sum of USD 25,000,000 from Mr Aruba of Nigeria. However due to some new legislation I may be having some problems with our bottom-up laws. So I have to transfer that money to a third country ASAP. I will offer you 20% of the money in exchange for your small inconvenience, 70% will be for me, and 10% for the transaction costs ...
If enithin kan gow rong it whil. (Murfey)
The very idea that a real flesh-and-blood Nigerian diplomat actually exists feels so strange. It would be like meeting the real Duke Nukem.
Table-ized A.I.
A fool and his money are soon parted...
That'd make a good slogan:
"Nigeria... parting fools from their money since 1992"
If all the stupid people are put in jail, then it's gonna be very lonely out here.
What makes you think you'd be out here?
"It's hard to con an honest man."
In the words of Terry Pratchett:
There is a saying - "You can't fool an honest man" - which is much quoted by people who make a profitable living by fooling honest men.
Nigerian High Commissioner Olu Agbi said if I don't send him $1,000 by Western Union in the next 24 hours that he'll throw me in jail!
If only there was a big island somewhere where we could send all these idiots.
hello i am allujabullshitname prince of nigeria. i am writing to you in the worst of health, i am afraid i may die soon, but do not worry, god is on my side. i recently have come acrsoss a islannd worth millions of american dollars an am looking for a governnment to deposit tyhe land masses.
this millions of dollars of land is perfect to send all sorts of idiots, but i am afraid that i am to lose it soon, as there are those who conspire against me. but i am not afraid, for the lord will protect me.
please send me your account so i can deposit..
Oh, what the hell.. I actually don't know enough about international property law to know what kind of system you'd deposit land rights into anyway.
Like we're going to listen to Nigerian officials when it comes to money matters. Hell, they can't even keep their Princes from losing access to their fortunes, requiring honest, hard-working Americans to help them out!
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I approve.
-Darwin
You don't need to. Just say that's it's all very complicated but you will take care of all the details before you die.
They already did, once America was full, they sent them all downunder
"It's immoral to let a sucker keep his money." - Canada Bill Jones, 19th century poker player
:D
"Empathise with stupidity, and you're halfway to thinking like an idiot." - Iain M. Banks
dont know if it's tru? forwarding just incase! love to everyone!
>>> Nverian Hig h Commisioner Ololu Ogelvi warned all RED BLOODED AMERICAN PATRIOTS
>>> that if they don't send him $1,000 by Western Union in the next 24 hours that he
>>> will kill a kitt
>>> en.
>> Thx Maude! I just sent t>
>> his to everyone on my ma
>> iling list! Why does
>>> PLEASE SUPPORT OUR TROPS IN WESTERIA
>>> FORWARDING THIS EMAIL TO EVERYONE
>>> YOU KNOW!!111!1!!!1!
>>> GOD BLESS AMERICA!
Permit me to introduce myself, my name is TheSHAD0W and I was an officer in a now defunct company that performed 419 advance fee fraud scams and was based in Nigeria. This company's bank account now holds $36 million dollars which was scammed from Australian citizens. I am the only officer who was not arrested and murdered in jail and I now seek assistance in transferring these funds to the United States. The person who will assist in transferring this money will receive $3 million dollars and my gratitude. If you are interested please email your full name, social security number, birth date, and bank routing and account number to scammer@iamadoodyhead.co.ng please.
I'm afraid that the scammers have gotten craftier than that - I understand that they're relating to the Aussies very well. The latest one that I had forwarded to me read:
" G'day mate! I were just out in me back yard throwing another dingo on the barbie and bruising up a warm lager when I happened on a smattering of GOLD! Now me and me sheila aren't exactly the rightful owners of this here parcel, but we managed to shift the yellow off onto a friendly bugger who handed over a check. All we need is a good buddy to shift the funds around, take a princely cut for 'imself, and PayPal us the balance.
Whaddaya say, mate? Are we chummy? "
[Sorry to all the real Australians out there - I'm in the US and only speak American. The only Australian that I know I learned from Crocodile Dundee, Yahoo Serious, and the Crocodile Hunter. (But I do have the good sense not to throw a dingo on my barbie).]
He's getting rather old, but he's a good mouse.
They're like...trying to outlaw natural selection!
You are making more stupid people, please don't do it!
Uuhh shiny...
If you quote this signature there'll be 72 copies of Windows ME waiting for you in Heaven.
Way too many stupid people think they can try to work those deals...
Whatever. As long as whoever comes out ahead with the money classifies it as 'Illegal Income' when filing his/her tax returns at the end of the year, I'm fine with whatever. The one thing I can't *stand* is tax evaders!
No, America got the puritans, we got the criminals.
Come to think of it, I think we got the better deal.
You're not doing a very good job of selling your superior intelligence with that post........
Or:
"Nigeria... jailing fools for parting with their money since 2008."
Hey, it's not as easy as it looks. What with all the hopping around and all.
"(But I do have the good sense not to throw a dingo on my barbie)"
Quite right. Dingo's are best pan fried, with some garlic, shallots, cream and white wine. Thylacines were the preferred choice of fauna for the BBQ, but the demand led to their extinction. Tasmanian Devils make a poor substitute.
MrCreosote Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump!Meow!Thump! "You're right! There isn't enough room to swing a cat in here!"
Warm larger? Are you mad, or British?
http://www.xkcd.com/354/
And before that, they used the african swallow.
She made the willows dance
Pillaging is hardly a scam. It's immoral, but it is at least honest. Unless you lie about it, of course.
"I'm only killing people with genetic defects! It's for the good of your gene pool!"
"I'm stimulating the yurt building industry!"
"I'm a radical environmentalist and you're wrecking the local squirrel population!"
fully loaded or half-loaded?
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power lost.
That's ok. With the millions that he will make, he could easily afford some top notch golfing lessons.
Knowledge is power. Knowledge shared is power lost.
go to http://www.sweetchillisauce.com/ this guy winds up the scammers all the way in, hilarious stuff. If more people did this, now that would slow the scammers! Jerry
The most creative panhandler I have ever seen had a sign that went like this:
"Ninjas killed my family. Please give me money to go to karate school."
He gut busted by the police because it turned out that his family had not, actually, been killed by ninjas.
"Remember, there never were pineapple-almond cookies here."