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Smilin' Bob Not Smilin' Anymore
Consumerist reports an Associated Press release that Steve Warshak, 42, was found guilty of 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. His 75-year-old mother, who has cancer, was found guilty of conspiracy and other charges, and was sentenced to 2-years, but is free pending appeal. US District Judge Arthur Spiegel, in Cincinnati, OH, denied Mr. Warshak's request to remain free pending appeal, but gave him 30 days to wrap up his affairs and report to prison. Besides Enzyte, Washak's company, Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, who also distributes products to boost energy, manage weight, reduce memory loss and aid sleep, will be allowed to stay in business — but must forfeit $500 million. Among their most egregious offenses was a requirement of a Notarized statement from a doctor certifying that they had a small penis. Amazingly, remarkably few customers availed themselves of the refund offer. Unfortunately, it looks like the commercials will still be able to continue...
Perhaps his enzyte-enlarged member will make him the big man in prison.
I'm sure he can't wait to meet some of his satisfied customers in prison. Except now, he'll be the one notifying his doctor about erections lasting longer than 4 hours.
People with little dicks will do anything for a cure.
Really? I wouldn't know. :-)
If you have the balls, but not the penis, to ask for the refund, go for it.
Not that I ever used their products...
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid." - Epictetus
Why is this news for nerds, stuff that matters? Maybe ScuttleMonkey has a small penis and wasted money on these pills?
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
That reminds me of a conversation I was having with my brother about how much we hated our toilet because you always ended up touching the bowl. A friend of ours walked in on this and said,"Really? I've never had that problem." At which point we both collapsed laughing.
People should put more thought into toilet design. :)
I reserve the write to mangle english.
Interestingly enough, I actually sell a product made from cobra oil that will enhance your maleness. And it works! Just look at how much this guy over here's wife smiles!*
*Well hung pool boy not included
You're thinking small. Why miniaturize the laser, when we could instead enlarge the sharks? -John Searle
Two guys peeing off a bridge. "The water's cold!" says the first. "And deep..." says the second.
Cantankerous old coot since 1957.
I've heard it as two Texans, and the punchline was "and the bottom sure is muddy".
The Vagina is indeed a powerfull being.
Wanna fight ? Bend over, stick your head up your ass, and fight for air.
"Sorry, but do to a supply chain issue, we can not fulfill your order. Here's your refund, courtesy of The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company."
A guy walks up to a urinal to take a piss and whips out his unit. He can't help but look over at the guy on his right, a dreadlocked Jamaican dude, and is astonished to see that he has a tattoo on his penis that says "WY".
"Hey, we've got the same tattoo!" he says, pointing down. The Jamaican looks over, and sure enough the first guy also has "WY" tattooed on his penis.
"Of course you can't see the whole thing," says the first guy, "when I'm, uh, at my best, it reads 'Wendy'. That's my girlfriend's name!"
"That's cool mon, real cool" says the Jamaican dude. There is a brief pause.
"So, what does yours say?" asks the first guy.
"Mine says, 'Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day'!"
I've heard Snake Oil is a great lubricant for it though.
Not quite (on the DNA point)... humans IIRC have the largest genital-to-body-mass ratio of any primate.
Otherwise, I hold forth the theory that the whole penis size thing was secretly started by women who resented being judged by their breast sizes.
Quo usque tandem abutere, Nimbus, patientia nostra?
At my family plumbing shop a customer had us install a new Kohler toilet. The next day the client called to request a new fixture be put in. The client, an older distinguished gentleman, wouldn't give a reason at first. After a longer discussion he finally gave the reason of 'when I sit down, my testicles touch the water'. The best part? His name was Mr. Float.
Unless you're counting squirrel balls in the genitalia department...
But honestly folks, xkcd nailed this one a while back
http://xkcd.org/194/
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer
Quit bitching and just knot it around your waist like the rest of us :)
End of lesson. You may press the button.