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Smilin' Bob Not Smilin' Anymore
Consumerist reports an Associated Press release that Steve Warshak, 42, was found guilty of 93 counts of conspiracy, fraud and money laundering. His 75-year-old mother, who has cancer, was found guilty of conspiracy and other charges, and was sentenced to 2-years, but is free pending appeal. US District Judge Arthur Spiegel, in Cincinnati, OH, denied Mr. Warshak's request to remain free pending appeal, but gave him 30 days to wrap up his affairs and report to prison. Besides Enzyte, Washak's company, Berkeley Premium Nutraceuticals, who also distributes products to boost energy, manage weight, reduce memory loss and aid sleep, will be allowed to stay in business — but must forfeit $500 million. Among their most egregious offenses was a requirement of a Notarized statement from a doctor certifying that they had a small penis. Amazingly, remarkably few customers availed themselves of the refund offer. Unfortunately, it looks like the commercials will still be able to continue...
Perhaps his enzyte-enlarged member will make him the big man in prison.
That reminds me of a conversation I was having with my brother about how much we hated our toilet because you always ended up touching the bowl. A friend of ours walked in on this and said,"Really? I've never had that problem." At which point we both collapsed laughing.
People should put more thought into toilet design. :)
I reserve the write to mangle english.
Two guys peeing off a bridge. "The water's cold!" says the first. "And deep..." says the second.
Cantankerous old coot since 1957.
I've heard it as two Texans, and the punchline was "and the bottom sure is muddy".
A guy walks up to a urinal to take a piss and whips out his unit. He can't help but look over at the guy on his right, a dreadlocked Jamaican dude, and is astonished to see that he has a tattoo on his penis that says "WY".
"Hey, we've got the same tattoo!" he says, pointing down. The Jamaican looks over, and sure enough the first guy also has "WY" tattooed on his penis.
"Of course you can't see the whole thing," says the first guy, "when I'm, uh, at my best, it reads 'Wendy'. That's my girlfriend's name!"
"That's cool mon, real cool" says the Jamaican dude. There is a brief pause.
"So, what does yours say?" asks the first guy.
"Mine says, 'Welcome to Jamaica mon, have a nice day'!"
At my family plumbing shop a customer had us install a new Kohler toilet. The next day the client called to request a new fixture be put in. The client, an older distinguished gentleman, wouldn't give a reason at first. After a longer discussion he finally gave the reason of 'when I sit down, my testicles touch the water'. The best part? His name was Mr. Float.
Unless you're counting squirrel balls in the genitalia department...
But honestly folks, xkcd nailed this one a while back
http://xkcd.org/194/
Returned Peace Corps IT Volunteer