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Defusing the Threat of Disgruntled IT Workers
snydeq writes "According to computer forensics expert witness Keith Jones, for every logic bomb on the network or Terry Childs case that makes it into the press, there are 98 other incidents of disgruntled IT pros damaging company assets that you never hear about. And though most IT workers are too professional to take out their grievances on the systems they've worked so hard to maintain, unless management takes note of the growing discontent in the IT workplace, it may fall victim to the unspoken 'ticking time bomb' lurking within its call for IT to do more with less, InfoWorld reports. Drastically understaffed, battered by interminable hours and impossible demands, many IT folks are being pushed to the brink by management that neither trusts nor supports them."
Shh. This is meant to scare management into cutting them some slack
Yeah. Would you choose a neurosurgeon who pokes around people's brains in his spare time? I wouldn't.
We hired three times as many people, and only 1/3 is ever really working in IT. The other 2/3 work in a mysterious shadow IT whose work is never actually used or relied on. No one knows which group they're in, but they also know their work probably doesn't matter, so it keeps them on their toes.
I'd love to tell you, but unfortunately that place was set on fire by a disgruntled IT worker with a red stapler, and the printer was busted before they could print anything out,...
You don't happen to have pointy hair do you?
I left a ticking code bomb on my last job, here's how it happened:
Me: The rest of today I thought we'd go over the end of year maintenance and reports, they're a little involved.
My replacement: I think I got it.
Me: You sure? It's pretty complicated. Two hours really isn't enough of a hand off for an app this complicated.
My replacement: I'm good. I've got to take my kid to the doctor this afternoon (turns to leave).
Me: Okay then.
End of FY ends in about two weeks. Guess they'll find out how ready he really was.
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage
I knew a former employee that left a piece of code in an app that when a user entered a certain search string, it would give Chuck Norris facts. Leave your employer laughing, not disgruntled.
string.Empty();
Yeah, I keep getting fired all the time, too, and it's never my fault. Something's horribly wrong with the world, but I'm golden.
At my former company one of the clueless head managers pulled all the developers into a conference and gave us the same "mandatory 60 hour weeks are now required" speech. One of the senior developers said "Only 60 hours? That's great!"
--I'm not talking about dance lessons. I'm talking about putting a brick through the other guy's windshield.-
I've used Unix in various flavors for over 20 years (It's kind of like kissing my sister, I don't like it much, but it doesn't scare me.) I have also developed apps for Windows. Some of which likely run on your electric utilities dispatch and trading floors. (Only the Access components should scare you, I tried to kill/replace them but they were too entrenched and useful for a few.)
This post is the reason the managers hate us.
echo -e 'global _start\n _start:\n mov eax, 2\n int 80h\n jmp _start' > a.asm; nasm a.asm -f elf; ld a.o -o a;
My boss called me late one night asking me to get some work done for him. I work from home, so he knew I could get it done. I told him I was busy watching a weekly TV show with my wife.
So he got me a Tivo. See, hard work pays off. :)
I've occasionally remarked that the nice thing about UNIX systems, in comparison to Windows ones, is that when I tell my UNIX box to do something it doesn't bother me with questions, it just does what I tell it to. The downside to this is that when I tell my UNIX box to do something, it doesn't bother me with questions, it just does what I tell it to do.
Aide-toi, le Ciel t'aidera - Jeanne D'Arc.
Recruit: "Sir, I'm not allowed to call you an Asshole am I?"
Officer: "NO! You are not"
Recruit: "But I'm allowed to think you're an Asshole, aren't I?"
Officer: "You can think whatever you like!"
Recruit: "Well, Sir, I think you're an Asshole!"
Well, at least we haven't been operantly conditioned to say "what the hell, go ahead."
Post may contain irony: discontinue use if experiencing mood swings, nausea or elevated blood pressure.
Chefs sometimes spit in the pizza.
What, do you think that extra tang comes from nowhere?
"If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."