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Ultrasound Machine Ages Wine

Posted by samzenpus on from the I'll-take-the-cheap-stuff dept.

Inventor Casey Jones says his creation uses ultrasound technology to recreate the effects of decades of aging by colliding alcohol molecules inside the bottle. Mr. Jones said, "This machine can take your run-of-the-mill £3.99 bottle of plonk and turn it into a finest bottle of vintage tasting like it costs hundreds. It works on any alcohol that tastes better aged, even a bottle of paintstripper whisky can taste like an 8-year-aged single malt." The Ultrasonic Wine Ager, which looks like a Dr. Who ice bucket, takes 30 minutes to work and has already been given the thumbs up by an English winemaker. I know a certain special lady who is about to have the best bottle of Boone's Farm in the world.

5 of 448 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Whiskey? by pete-classic · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's an ultrasonic wallet-opener.

    -Peter

  2. Yeah but... by Entropy98 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Can it make regular snake oil taste like 30 year old snake oil?
    --
      Blackshot

  3. As a bonus, it ages snake oil too... by nweaver · · Score: 5, Funny

    As an extra special bonus, it acts to rapidly age cheap snake-oil from the rancid dead rattler-junk it started out as to something equivelent to the finest age tawny boa extract.

    --
    Test your net with Netalyzr
  4. Re:English winemaker? by fiannaFailMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    When it gets the nod of a French winemaker or a vintner from California I'll be a little more intrigued.

    Global warming will probably give English winemakers some credibility in years to come. (No 'funny' mod points please, I'm being serious.)

    --
    Drill baby drill - on Mars
  5. Re:Whiskey? by retchdog · · Score: 5, Funny

    I didn't know they made urinals out of beechwood.

    --
    "They were pure niggers." – Noam Chomsky