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Single Neuron Wired To Muscle Un-Paralyzes Monkeys
GalaticGrub writes "A pair of paralyzed monkeys regained the ability to move their arms after researchers wired individual neurons to the monkeys' arm muscles. A team of researchers at the University of Washington temporarily paralyzed each monkey's arm, then rerouted brain signals from a single neuron in the motor cortex around the blocked nerve pathway via a computer. When the neuron fired above a certain rate, the computer translated the signal into a jolt of electricity to the arm muscle, causing it to contract. The monkeys practiced moving their arms by playing a video game."
Who's the grad student who had to break those monkeys spines?
Give me Classic Slashdot or give me death!
But can you teach them to type??
Take the cheese to sickbay, the doctor should see it as soon as possible - B'Elanna Torres, "Learning Curve"
That gold won't farm itself...
It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. Blurst of times! Stupid monkey!
Let us not become the evil that we deplore.
I bet they've already learned how to get around DRM.
Amazing! This is truly a wonderful time to be a monkey.
Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
they mounted a scratch monkey first.
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
-- J.R.R. Tolkien
The researchers who published this should have 'Correlation is not causation' written in giant billboards in front of their houses.
Just 2 monkeys regained movement after the experiment does not mean that rerouting brain signals past blocked nerve pathways using a single neuron controlled by a computer did anything at all. They should have waited until they had ruled out other possibilities, like divine intervention, before publishing results. For shame!
Seems ripe for exploitation...
"...Quit hitting yourself! Quit hitting yourself..."
--Edward Dassmesser
You were killed by b33st13b0y.
b33st13b0y: lol pwned
b33st13b0y: ur mom is ghey
b33st13b0y: suk it
I think we've known this for quite some time.
I don't believe in time. It's a grand conspiracy designed to sell watches.
Whoever tagged this article "shockthemonkey" is awesome.
I've always wanted to create an army of monkeys bent on global domination and I am sure I am not the only one.
People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
They have their specialization and you have yours.
/. -- the Free Republic of technology.
I hope you're not serious. It would be far easier and quicker to use robots or human suicide-bombers or just about anything else, really.
Yeah, but watching monkeys blow themselves up would be way more fun.
That explains those WoW players flinging poop at me.
1 = i
(My apologies to anyone that works with complex numbers.)
... army of FLYING monkeys, you insensitive clod!
It's all history, man. -anon
That site is real, isn't it? For the first few minutes of reading I convinced myself that it was just a funny hoax site, but the deeper I went into it the more scared I became...
Would it be irony if I prayed to God to free us from religion? I still don't have that whole irony thing down yet.
And as you tread the halls of sanity, You feel so glad to be, Unable to go beyond. I have a message, From another time..
Odd note, but monkeys seem to have a preference for holding down the s key on american keyboard layouts.
Apparently, grad students will write a thesis about anything...
I just got my ass handed to me by "1337_bananaz" in Counter-Strike. Looks like we have our culprit right here.
The nice thing about monkey armies is they make their own ammo.