Slashdot's Disagree Mail

Ernest Hemingway's micro-story, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn," is one of my favorite examples of how less is sometimes more. Sometimes a few sentences say it all; you don't always need a hundred pages to convey an idea. Most of the mail I get is brief and to the point. Others are just brief. To be honest, I appreciate the short, crazy email more than the long rants, and they can be just as funny. Read below for this week's mail snippets.

The less we talk about this first guy, the better. Let's just hope that he found love and a treadmill someplace.

On Mon Aug 25, 2003 ******** wrote:
"Hello, I am a 'generously proportioned' male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed. Best regards."

I'm not really sure what this message means. I didn't get the cryptic first mail that he talks about, but it sounds important.

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 ******* wrote:
"Be well advised that my last email contains information about the persons that this script was, in fact, not written for. this section contains authorizations as to ensure that authorizations would work. Also be advised that the infromation therein is no longer valid."

The last two are both from people who obviously used the wrong address. I can assure you that I never accused the second guy of any sexual impropriety.

On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 ******** wrote:
"hi, i look for south america road atlas. can be each country or two \ three countries combination gather in one. can you addvice or help me? thanks ahead."

On Sat, Aug 23, 2008 ******** wrote:
"Seeing as you accused me of having child pornography AND I DIDN'T and you accused my of ATTEMPTING TO RAPE YOU and I didn't I thought it best that I didn't have any contact with you. You are a disturbed person. Do not contact me. Thank you."

Comments

Yeah, this is silly.

[apathy maybe]

Most of the other "Disagree Mail" actually was about Slashdot, as opposed to being totally unrelated. Yes, you got four emails, but note, they don't even talk about Slashdot or the web. I don't know why you posted these ones.

(What's this crap doing on the front page? I know that I can go into my settings and turn it off, but I'm lazy! This shouldn't be on the front page at all! Even if I'm a lazy bum. Shut up! I hate you!)

Re:Yeah, this is silly.

[Torinaga-Sama]

Non-sequitors, false accusations, pointless drivel, and complete misunderstandings. How do you not see how this is related to Slashdot.

Your inflatable sheep is in the post.

Re:Yeah, this is silly.

[morgan_greywolf]

Well, I hear Vista includes drivers for the aforementioned inflatable sheep. But if you weigh over 300 lbs, they crash after the sheep downloads child pornography and then proceeds to rape you.

This error is known as the Bahhhh Sheep of Death.

Please, read what you write before you post it

[Peter Cooper]

How is this crap getting posted to a landmark site of the tech industry? We might be able to put up with news making it to Slashdot three days after everywhere else, but these posts are abysmal.

Re:Please, read what you write before you post it

[u38cg]

Hear, hear. For crying out loud, editors, think for a minute. Posting like this kicks up your page views in the short term, but I guarantee it's not doing anything to for your long term health. Does anyone else remember when the discussion was more insightful than the summary? Does anyone remember when a discussion didn't consist of nothing jokes and idiots who think tl;dr is a religion?

Oh Dear

[immcintosh]

Digg is that way ---->

I For One...

[GreenPickles]

Enjoy this mindless humor on a Friday.