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Slashdot's Disagree Mail

Posted by samzenpus on from the good-things-come-in-small-packages dept.

Ernest Hemingway's micro-story, "For sale: baby shoes, never worn," is one of my favorite examples of how less is sometimes more. Sometimes a few sentences say it all; you don't always need a hundred pages to convey an idea. Most of the mail I get is brief and to the point. Others are just brief. To be honest, I appreciate the short, crazy email more than the long rants, and they can be just as funny. Read below for this week's mail snippets.

The less we talk about this first guy, the better. Let's just hope that he found love and a treadmill someplace.

On Mon Aug 25, 2003 ******** wrote:
"Hello, I am a 'generously proportioned' male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed. Best regards."

I'm not really sure what this message means. I didn't get the cryptic first mail that he talks about, but it sounds important.

On Sat, 20 Aug 2005 ******* wrote:
"Be well advised that my last email contains information about the persons that this script was, in fact, not written for. this section contains authorizations as to ensure that authorizations would work. Also be advised that the infromation therein is no longer valid."

The last two are both from people who obviously used the wrong address. I can assure you that I never accused the second guy of any sexual impropriety.

On Tue, 30 Aug 2005 ******** wrote:
"hi, i look for south america road atlas. can be each country or two \ three countries combination gather in one. can you addvice or help me? thanks ahead."

On Sat, Aug 23, 2008 ******** wrote:
"Seeing as you accused me of having child pornography AND I DIDN'T and you accused my of ATTEMPTING TO RAPE YOU and I didn't I thought it best that I didn't have any contact with you. You are a disturbed person. Do not contact me. Thank you."

28 of 100 comments (clear)

  1. Illin in the panicillin? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    Is she illin in the panicillin?
    Is she chillin in the panicillin?
    Is she stealin in the panicillin?
    Is she feelin in the panicillin?

    Panka panka

    Is she liable no suitifiable pliable style is so suitifiable
    Is she liable no suitifiable im not on trial but its suitifiable
    Is she reliable no suitifiable not just viable but real suitifiable
    Is she try-able no suitifiable lying in the aisle im real suitifiable

    Is she spillin in the panicillin?
    Is she squealin in the panicillin?
    Is she feelin in the panicillin?
    Is she trillin in the panicillin?

    Panka panka

    Is it libel? no suitifiable pliable style is so suitifiable
    Is it a style? no suitifiable im not on trial but its suitifiable
    Is it a mile? no suitifiable not just viable but real suitifiable
    Is it wild? no suitifiable lying in the aisle im real suitifiable

  2. Yeah, this is silly. by apathy+maybe · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Most of the other "Disagree Mail" actually was about Slashdot, as opposed to being totally unrelated. Yes, you got four emails, but note, they don't even talk about Slashdot or the web. I don't know why you posted these ones.

    (What's this crap doing on the front page? I know that I can go into my settings and turn it off, but I'm lazy! This shouldn't be on the front page at all! Even if I'm a lazy bum. Shut up! I hate you!)

    --
    I wank in the shower.
    1. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by Swizec · · Score: 2

      Will there be a "slashdot disagree comments" posting on this green horror?

    2. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by Torinaga-Sama · · Score: 5, Funny

      Non-sequitors, false accusations, pointless drivel, and complete misunderstandings. How do you not see how this is related to Slashdot.

      Your inflatable sheep is in the post.

      --
      (/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
    3. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by HiredMan · · Score: 3, Funny

      Because there was no MS bashing, duh!

      --
      Bill Gates - Creationist?!?
    4. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, I hear Vista includes drivers for the aforementioned inflatable sheep. But if you weigh over 300 lbs, they crash after the sheep downloads child pornography and then proceeds to rape you.

      This error is known as the Bahhhh Sheep of Death.

      --
      My blog
    5. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by Toyotoyo · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Thanks, man. Hearing I could turn this crap off for good, I've somehow mustered the energy required to permanently disable this God-forsaken section. I'm in your debt.

    6. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by Torinaga-Sama · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Be well advised that my last email contains information about the persons that this script was, in fact, not written for. this section contains authorizations as to ensure that authorizations would work. Also be advised that the infromation therein is no longer valid."

      I dunno, I think that was a direct reference to the Microsoft Windows XP EULA.

      --
      (/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
    7. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by kiehlster · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Most of my other "Disagree Mail" actually was about Slashdot, as opposed to being totally unrelated. Yes, I sent four emails, but note, they don't even talk about Slashdot or the web. I don't know why I sent these ones.

      "(What's my mail doing on the "Disagree Mail"? I know that I can go into my hole and tune you out, but I'm lazy! This shouldn't be on the "Disagree Mail" at all! Even if I'm a lazy bum. Shut up! I hate you!)"

      // There, fixed that for ya.

    8. Re:Yeah, this is silly. by owlnation · · Score: 3, Insightful

      "What's this crap doing on the front page? I know that I can go into my settings and turn it off, but I'm lazy! This shouldn't be on the front page at all!"

      You can turn it off the front page, but NOT off the RSS feed. So it's still possible to be inflicted by the Idle crap by accident.

      Taco, if you MUST persist with Idle (in the face of mostly displeasure) can you not have it as a totally separate site? It's only fair isn't it? Those who don't want this crap need never see it, and the cast-offs from Digg can go to the new Idle site any time they want. Is this not fair?

  3. Dear /. by Windows_NT · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dear slashdot: As much as you might think i had sex with you, I didnt. Please dont contact me again. Your accusations are false, and any other proposals for sexual interactions will be denied. I am not saying im above you, im just saying that i dont have sex with webservers for under $3.
    oh, BTW, where are my inflatable sheep?

    --
    Go go Gadget Nailgun!
  4. Please, read what you write before you post it by Peter+Cooper · · Score: 5, Insightful

    How is this crap getting posted to a landmark site of the tech industry? We might be able to put up with news making it to Slashdot three days after everywhere else, but these posts are abysmal.

    1. Re:Please, read what you write before you post it by u38cg · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Hear, hear. For crying out loud, editors, think for a minute. Posting like this kicks up your page views in the short term, but I guarantee it's not doing anything to for your long term health. Does anyone else remember when the discussion was more insightful than the summary? Does anyone remember when a discussion didn't consist of nothing jokes and idiots who think tl;dr is a religion?

      --
      [FUCK BETA]
    2. Re:Please, read what you write before you post it by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      tl:dr

    3. Re:Please, read what you write before you post it by Luyseyal · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I tried Digg for awhile, but the comments system is crap. I have never peaked at Slashcode, but IMNSHO, the Slashdot comments system is much better. I like it better than Fark and K5, too, though K5 is a close second.

      My other big complaint about Digg is I hate all the pap that's always on the front page. At least with Fark, you're GOING for the funny. I don't visit Slashdot for funny. I visit it for interesting tech and science news stories that have been culled down from a great many. I also visit it because real scientists post things on Slashdot.

      I can find more specialized content in a variety of blogs, but /. has a mix of things that I am interested in, with a great comments system, and that's why I come back.

      Seriously, though, idle IS pants.

      -l

      --
      Help cure AIDS, cancer, and more. Donate your unused computer time to worldcommunitygrid.org. Join Team Slashdot!
  5. 2 kinds of people by carlcmc · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The people who know how to enjoy and smile at the disagree mail and the boneheads who don't. .... :-)

  6. We don't like reading spam either by drquoz · · Score: 4, Informative

    I wish I had a website where I could make my subscribers read my spam emails. I've got plenty of "disagree mail" from Nigerian kings and Viagra sellers. Honestly, I like the idea of the Disagree Mail series, but lately he's resorted to posting what is obviously spam.

    1. Re:We don't like reading spam either by Torinaga-Sama · · Score: 2, Insightful

      Have you ever done tech support for the general public? There are tons of legitimately side splittingly crazy people out there that I am sure you are crushing by calling their ravings spam.

      --
      (/local/home/curiosity)-#who -u|grep thecat|cut -c 44-49|xargs kill -9
  7. Re:Slow NewsDay? by truthsearch · · Score: 3, Insightful

    you don't need to post when you've got nothing to say.

    And yet here we are...

    --
    Developers: We can use your help.
  8. Oh Dear by immcintosh · · Score: 5, Funny

    Digg is that way ---->

  9. I For One... by GreenPickles · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Enjoy this mindless humor on a Friday.

  10. Antithesis of John C. Dvorak by JazzyJ · · Score: 2, Insightful

    ...who gets NO spam!

    It's Samzenpus.... "I GET SPAM!"

    Seriously, dude....get a spam filter or something. Stop spamming us with your spam.

  11. My Theory by scorp1us · · Score: 4, Interesting

    What spammers did was to use a slashdot email address as a destination. The idea is that a random, unsolicited yet strange email would solicit a reply, at which point you now have a validated email address to sell. Each message played to a particular emotion in hope to get a reply.

    Each tactic:
    Humility
    Severity
    Compassion
    Offensive

    While someone might not reply to offensive emails, that psyce might reply to calls for compassion. Or vice-versa.

    --
    Slashdot's rate-of-post filter: Preventing you from posting too many great ideas at once.
  12. Re:Alcohol... by clone53421 · · Score: 3, Funny

    50 mg of alcohol? Good heavens, I hope you meant 50 ppm.

    --
    Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
  13. Well then by gaderael · · Score: 4, Funny

    "On Mon Aug 25, 2003 ******** wrote:
    "Hello, I am a 'generously proportioned' male (375 pounds) with a less than generous penile length (4 inches erect). I seek a vendor of quality inflatable sheep who can give away free samples as I am unemployed. Best regards."    "

    Well, I guess this answers the question, " Do inadequate fat men dream of inflatable sheep?"

    --
    Anyone got a light for my sig?
  14. Plural by NotQuiteReal · · Score: 4, Funny

    where are my inflatable sheep?

    I notice you use the plural - you want more than one? What do you plan on doing with them, flock them?

    --
    This issue is a bit more complicated than you think.
    1. Re:Plural by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 2, Funny

      I notice you use the plural - you want more than one? What do you plan on doing with them, flock them?

      My guess is its his way of saying "Flock ewe!" to slashdot...

      --
      If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
  15. This is becoming pointless by rickb928 · · Score: 2, Interesting

    These look more like misaddressed emails. Not so entertaining. And not very unique. Maybe it's time to go biweekly with disagree mail???

    --
    deleting the extra space after periods so i can stay relevant, yeah.