Slashdot Mirror
Dead Goldfish Offered The Vote In Illinois
Election officials in northern Chicago want to know why voter registration material was sent to Princess, a dead goldfish. "I am just stunned at the level of people compromising the integrity of the voting process," said Lake County Clerk Willard Helander, a Republican, who said she has spotted problems with nearly 1,000 voter registrations this year. Beth Nudelman, who owned Princess, said the fish may have got on a mailing list because the family once filled in her name when they got a second phone line for a computer. When will we recognize a goldfish's right to vote?
This is Illinois, where' we're so patriotic even being dead doesn't keep us from voting! Being nonhuman doesn't keep us from voting!
VOTE EARLY! VOTE OFTEN!
Illinois is home to Al Capone and Richard Daily.
The last Democrat to be defeated by a Republican went to prison. The last Republican to be defeated by a Democrat is in prison right now. And our present Governor, a Democrat, will likely go to prison himself, as the Feds are scrutinizing him in the Rezco case.
Both Federal Senators are Democrats. The Governor is a Democrat. The state legislature is mostly Democrat. Obama is from Illinois. Guess who's going to win Illinois by a landslide, dead goldfish or no?
Free Martian Whores!
As someone who works campaigns for a living now, I can tell you that trying to get off the lists is nigh impossible. Unless you tell them you will be voting against them. Those are the only ones who stopped getting called. Even then, that doesn't always work.