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New Type of Particle May Have Been Found

An anonymous reader writes "The LHC is out of commission, but the Tevatron collider at Fermilab is still chugging along, and may have just discovered a new type of particle that would signal new physics. New Scientist reports that the Tevatron's CDF detector has found muons that seem to have been created outside of the beam pipe that confines the protons and anti-protons being smashed together. The standard model can't explain the muons, and some speculate that 'an unknown particle with a lifetime of about 20 picoseconds was produced in the collision, traveled about 1 centimeter, through the side of the beam pipe, and then decayed into muons.' The hypothetical particle even seems to have the right mass to account for one theory of dark matter."

27 of 281 comments (clear)

  1. hardly news... by Tumbleweed · · Score: 3, Funny

    What do you think they make Peeps out of?!

    1. Re:hardly news... by thegnu · · Score: 3, Funny

      Sir, you have obviously never heard of the flux capacitor. Which is obviously the type of capacitor they blew.

      Obviously.

      --
      Please stop stalking me, bro.
  2. That's no muon... by verbalcontract · · Score: 4, Funny

    That's no muon, it's a space station!

    I'll show myself out.

    1. Re:That's no muon... by bunratty · · Score: 4, Funny

      Too late. You're caught in a tractor beam!

      --
      What a fool believes, he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away.
    2. Re:That's no muon... by windsurfer619 · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's a trap!

    3. Re:That's no muon... by ignavus · · Score: 2, Funny

      That's no muon, it's a space station!

      I felt a great disturbance in the force. As if millions of voices suddenly cried "Out!"

      --
      I am anarch of all I survey.
    4. Re:That's no muon... by bar-agent · · Score: 3, Funny

      you guys are f#ckin dorks...

      Oh yeah? Well, eh chu ta to you, too, pal!

      --
      i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
  3. Peeps are made of by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Chewons

  4. please let it be the higgs boson by LingNoi · · Score: 5, Funny

    I wish it was the god particle, rendering the whole point of building the LHC an epic fail. It would just be deliciously ironic.

  5. When asked about the new particle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    When asked about the new particle during the first test, one of the instruments that was monitoring it malfunctioned. One of the resident scientists were quoted as saying:

    "Overhead capacitors to one oh five percent. Uh, it's
    probably not a problem, probably, but I'm showing a small discrepancy
    in... well, no, it's well within acceptable bounds again. Sustaining
    sequence."

    1. Re:When asked about the new particle by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Thankfully another scientist had a crowbar at hand.

  6. teething problems by alxkit · · Score: 1, Funny

    i, for one, welcome our "long-lived particle" overlords

  7. Fermilab Maternity Ward by EEPROMS · · Score: 4, Funny

    Doctor " Congratulations professor!! you have a new bouncing baby particle"
    Professor "look at those electrons, its hung like a horse"
    Doctor "eer, sorry to disappoint your sir but that is just residual background noise"

  8. The little particle that could... by C18H27NO3+ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Poor little guy gets a single centimeter in 20 picoseconds-time and poofs into nothingness but I'll give it an A for effort. I hope this does ultimately afford us a new awareness into how things work down the road; preferably in my lifetime. (Read: Something absolutely astounding).

    1. Re:The little particle that could... by CorporateSuit · · Score: 4, Funny

      Poor little guy gets a single centimeter in 20 picoseconds-time and poofs into nothingness

      I can already see the spam... "P4rticl3 not going far enough? Last longer! Natur4l P4rticle eh4ncement!"

      --
      I am the richest astronaut ever to win the superbowl.
    2. Re:The little particle that could... by RxScram · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wow, that's 500,000,000 per second... no wonder it was so short lived... it realized it was going 1.66 times the speed of light, so it expanded to become our new universe!!!!

  9. Re:More data, less hype at arxiv by PalmHair · · Score: 5, Funny

    Femilab studies multi-moan events produced with p-bar colisions and squirts? Reminds me of the end-of-the-world party I hosted just before the LHC was fired up. Let me tell you - I regret nothing, apart from not wearing a condom. You will say I am narrow-minded and too much focused on sex. It is not me, it is the world around me, I say. The first-ever artifical satelite to circle the Earth was in a shape of a four-tailed spermatozoid. The ultimate scientific triumph of the western world - the Apollo mission was lifted by the Saturn-5 rockets - the biggest phallic symbol ever made by the man. And now the Large H Collider that comes with the promise of pushing the entire Earth into a black hole - the most ultimate sexual act ever. Yes, I am a nerd and if you are reading this, you can be sure you are one too. Science and technology are made up by people like us - to substitute in a cowardly way what every man is supposed to live for - fast cars and beautiful women. Cheers!

  10. maybe they could rename it by circletimessquare · · Score: 4, Funny

    the deliciously ironic particle

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
    1. Re:maybe they could rename it by Anpheus · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ah, so it's the Hungry Quark. It's anti-particle is the Tired Quark.

    2. Re:maybe they could rename it by fredrikj · · Score: 3, Funny

      Should they need a new quantum number, irony would make a nice flavor.

  11. It's Not A New.... by wa2flq · · Score: 2, Funny

    subatomic particle.. its a Black Hoooo *FLASH*

  12. I'm glad they found it by Dan+East · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Particle May Have Been Found "

    It is really good - and amazing - that they found this particle. I've lost sub-atomic particles before, and the things are just so incredibly small that it is unbelievably difficult to find them again. The resulting migraine from eye-strain can be terrible.

    --
    Better known as 318230.
    1. Re:I'm glad they found it by symbolset · · Score: 2, Funny

      When you drop a subatomic particle just let it go, man. It's gone.

      --
      Help stamp out iliturcy.
    2. Re:I'm glad they found it by LingNoi · · Score: 2, Funny

      The worst part is when you look in the fridge, under the bed, on the tv stand... and the particle was in your pocket the whole time!

  13. Re:More data, less hype at arxiv by crhylove · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yep, I worked on the team. I'm the guy who put all the words spelled A-N-D in. I authored most of the name list consequently!

    --
    I hold very few opinions. I hold information based on observation and fact. If you wish to disagree, please use facts.
  14. Why? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Considering that most comments are modded as "Funny", I wonder why serious articles like this get posted on Slashdot.

  15. Chewan source by John+Bayko · · Score: 3, Funny

    I live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Chewans are mined near here. The province is named after them.