Slashdot Mirror


A Linux-Based "Breath Test" For Porn On PCs

Gwaihir the Windlord writes "A university in Western Australia has started beta testing a tool that's described as 'a random breath test' to scan computers for illicit images. According to this article it's a clean bootable Linux environment. Since it doesn't write to the hard drive, the evidence is acceptable in court, at least in Australia. They're also working on versions to search for financial documents in fraud squad cases, or to search for terrorist keywords. Other than skimming off the dumb ones, does anyone really expect this to make a difference?" The article offers no details on what means the software uses to identify suspicious files.

41 of 345 comments (clear)

  1. Here's how it works... by nweaver · · Score: 5, Funny

    It looks for files like "guyongirlonsheep37.jpg"

    --
    Test your net with Netalyzr
    1. Re:Here's how it works... by Killer+Orca · · Score: 5, Funny

      It looks for files like "guyongirlonsheep37.jpg"

      Then I'll be safe since I rename all my files as "Top Secret: Hot Japanese Satellite images".

    2. Re:Here's how it works... by LrdDimwit · · Score: 4, Funny

      guyongirlonsheep37.jpg would probably be OK. I wouldn't want to try to explain guyongirlonsheep17.jpg however ...

    3. Re:Here's how it works... by autocracy · · Score: 4, Funny

      What makes you think that having 20 less photos in the collection helps your cause? ;)

      --
      SIG: HUP
    4. Re:Here's how it works... by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 4, Funny

      The specific command:

      #find / -name \*.jpg

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    5. Re:Here's how it works... by Kent+Recal · · Score: 3, Funny

      I think you missed the point.

    6. Re:Here's how it works... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Maybe it works by checking the percentage of flesh-tone colors in the picture. That means those racy pictures of blue-man-group are safe for now.

    7. Re:Here's how it works... by sorak · · Score: 3, Funny

      guyongirlonsheep37.jpg would probably be OK. I wouldn't want to try to explain guyongirlonsheep17.jpg however ...

      By an incredible coincidence, that happens to be the only username left untaken on yahoo! mail. I keep trying variations on my name and all I get is "That name is taken. May we suggest "guyongirlonsheep17.jpg@yahoo.com".

      But I wish I hadn't told you my new email address. Now I'm going to get spam.

    8. Re:Here's how it works... by Godji · · Score: 4, Funny

      What's the age of consent of a sheep? ;)

    9. Re:Here's how it works... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      What's the best thing about having sex with 37 year olds?

      There's 30 of them.

    10. Re:Here's how it works... by awrowe · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey I remember seeing some smurf porn recently. I have to say, nothing will ever compare to seeing two smurfs doing smurfette while whistling the theme tune. It wasn't a cartoon either.

      --
      A.I. Research. The peculiar science in which we know the question and we know the answer, but can't show the working
    11. Re:Here's how it works... by Yoozer · · Score: 2, Funny

      Wait, what is this? manbearpig.jpg! Clearly, you're in posession of bestiality.

  2. Quick! Whats the... by i.r.id10t · · Score: 5, Funny

    Quick! Whats the RGB color value for "pink" ?

    --
    Don't blame me, I voted for Kodos
  3. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by SupremoMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now everybody in Australia is guilty until proven innocent!

    I thought that was the founding principle of Australia :)

  4. misread the title by FlashBuster3000 · · Score: 2, Funny

    as breast test... would've been more appropriate, too.

  5. Re:Quick! Whats the... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    For kiddie porn you want to scan for small swaths.

  6. Re:A porn breath test? by GameboyRMH · · Score: 5, Funny


    <cheesysoundtrack>

    *WEEW*

    "License and registration please...are you drunk ma'm?"

    "No Ociffer, I swear to Drunk I'm not god"

    "Step out of the car please. I'm giving you a breathalyzer test. I need you to blow on this"

    "Wait...wut...come on I just want to go home"

    "Well if you don't want to do the breathalyzer I can give you a balance and mental aptitude test..."

    "Come on just cut me a break, I live just down the road, outside of these dark woods on this lonely country road"

    "Well OK, but if you want me to skip the breathalyzer, I need you to blow on _this_"

    </horribleacting>
    </cheesysoundtrack>

    --
    "When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
  7. Re:Illicit? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Last time I checked, porn was not illegal.

    Can you imagine if it were made illegal? Technological breakthroughs in Internet speed and design will come to a standstill after that. What's the point of 100MB wifi-everywhere if you can't stream HD porn?

    (Anti-porn group)"The Internet has porn on it! Won't someone think of the children?!?"

    Fuck that, won't someone think of the Network Designers?!? We need jobs too!"

  8. 2009! by flattop100 · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's the year of Linux on the Desktop! And to think of what the reaction would be if this ran on Windows.

  9. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by Maclir · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember, we were selected by the best judges in England...

    The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....

  10. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What the parent poster is trying to illustrate is that when a particular type of humor that roughly fits the phenotype of a reductio ad absurdum, or farce, in modern parlance, and, further, is based upon the implication of knowledge, which creates the perception of an 'inside joke', magnifying said statement's entertainment potential, has the piece of knowledge, previously conveyed via implicit communication, explained explicitly the statement so doing actually assumes the full weight of the previously mentioned 'absurdum', leaving only a fact and a non sequitur.

    In other words, it's not funny when you explain it, but thanks!

    (Notes to subsequent posters: a formulaic representation where the function of the humorous statement is subsequently undermined by the explanation and proved untrue (or similar), while funny, would have taken a bit more time than today's actual work-a-day requirements would allow. I would however be pleased to enjoy another's attempts to compile such an argument.)

    Disclaimer: This message is intended as humor and not flamebait, contrary to the anonymity assumed during the posting of said message. Furthermore, contrary to what is stated above, this post is the opinion and property of Slashdot. (Just kidding on that last part.) :)

    -HH

  11. leaked source code by CompMD · · Score: 3, Funny

    #include
    #include
    int main()
    {
            printf("Searching for stuff the user isn't supposed to have...\n");
            sleep(30);
            printf("Illegal material found! Seize computer and arrest owner!\n");
            return 0;
    }

  12. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  13. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by russ1337 · · Score: 4, Funny

    on a flight from DFW to LAX, I was recently asked by the American in the seat next to me 'where New Zealand got it's heritage - because, you know, Australia was a criminal colony'.... my answer: oh, dont mess with New Zealand...

    Australia rounded up its worst criminals and sent them there...

  14. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by onkelonkel · · Score: 4, Funny

    So the Australians won the coin toss and got to pick?

    --
    None of them can see the clouds; The polished wings don't care.
  15. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by phorm · · Score: 3, Funny

    The mentally deficient, ruthless, and inbred of course remained safely at home (and in noble circles, more often than not).

  16. Re:Quick! Whats the... by d3ac0n · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well technically, I think we've all been IN one at least once in our lives, females included. However I suspect that's not the point you were going for.

    --
    Official Heretic from the "Church of Global Warming". Proven right thanks to whistle blowers. AGW = Flat Earth Theory
  17. Based on this I propose the following test... by syousef · · Score: 4, Funny

    The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....

    In those grand traditions I propose the following test...

    Turn the laptop on, tie a large weight to it. If it floats, it's a witch! Burn it! If it sinks it's innocent. Pity it didn't survive.

    --
    These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
  18. Re:A porn breath test? by mrchaotica · · Score: 4, Funny

    Your post contains invalid markup: you can't interleave tags like that.

    --

    "[Regarding the 'cloud,'] ownership was what made America different than Russia." -- Woz

  19. Re:Quick! Whats the... by KeithJM · · Score: 5, Funny

    I was a C-Section baby, you insensitive clod!

  20. Re:Quick! Whats the... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Most women might, men don't need a thousand names for one colour. It's pink. It's not red, blue, yellow, orange, purple, green, black, or white, so it must be pink.

  21. Re:My least favourite quote from TFA: by multipartmixed · · Score: 2, Funny

    A part of me can't help thinking that cops are so enthusiastic about child porn because

    ...they're still working on their own collections?

    --

    Do daemons dream of electric sleep()?
  22. Breath Test by VorpalRodent · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm not familiar with the term "Breath Test". In this case in particular, wouldn't a "Breast Test" be more useful? Unless of course they're specifically excluding necrophilia from their search criteria...

    --
    Take it to the limit, everybody to the limit, come on, everybody fhqwhgads.
  23. Re:Any Aussies here? by Manfre · · Score: 5, Funny

    3 words. British prison colony

  24. Re:Quick! Whats the... by paeanblack · · Score: 4, Funny

    The big question is -- can this program tell the difference between a porn photo and a photo of Fidel Castro eating a banana?

    You just solved the CAPTCHA problem.

  25. Re:Randoms searches, Yay. by sorak · · Score: 3, Funny

    Remember, we were selected by the best judges in England...

    The difference between the USA and Australia - first, England rounded up all of it's religious fanatics, and sent them to the American colonies, then they rounded up all of these criminals, and send those to the Australian colonies....

    So where did they send the dentists?

    <ducks>

  26. Re:Quick! Whats the... by Glothar · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, that and Orlando, FL.

  27. Re:Quick! Whats the... by Glothar · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...oh, and your mom.

    (Sorry, had to)

  28. Fixed that for you. by techess · · Score: 5, Funny

    3 words. British Penal Colony There, fixed that for you

    --
    Don't anthropomorphize computers. They *hate* that.
  29. Re:Quick! Whats the... by DiegoBravo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Now you will get a ton of Ubuntu backgrounds....

  30. Re:Quick! Whats the... by fractoid · · Score: 2, Funny

    The sum total of your body parts isn't a person either. In fact you're not a person at all. The only person that I can prove to exist is myself, and even that relies on the 'cognito ergo sum' axiom. The rest of you are just meat machines.

    --
    Rampant carbon sequestration destroyed the Dinosaurs' tropical paradise. I'm here to help repair the damage.