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EA Recommends Hilarious Work-Around For RA3 CD-Key

sunderbear noted that EAs Command & Conquer 3 shipped missing the last digit of the CD Key. He writes "EA's brightest minds have put their synapses into overdrive in order to whip up a comical work-around. 'There is currently a work-around that may allow you to bypass this issue. Since you have the first 19 characters of the code already, you can basically try guessing the last character,' said a note on EA's customer support site. Yes, they're serious. 'To do this, simply enter your existing code, and then for the last character, try the letters A-Z, and then the numbers 0-9. You should eventually get the right combination, and be able to play the game.'" It appears that the helpful hint has been purged.

37 of 301 comments (clear)

  1. Electronic Asshats by mfh · · Score: 5, Funny

    This new sub-game called "CIA unlock" puts you in the shoes of a CIA agent attempting to gain access to a secure terrorist computer subsystem. The first 19 characters are given to you, but you need to randomly crack the last digit before the timer runs out and the game deletes your hard drive. If you win the game, you get to play again by pressing a reset button.

    Rumors are circling from insiders at EA, that the next amazing title from EA will enable players to enter the shoes of Joe a shoe salesman from Kentucky. Joe has a problem. He can't find the right shoe for his fat smelly customer. Players will only be able to play if they purchase and install the F.O.U.L. hardware (FOUL stands for Fresh Olfactory Universal Layer.), and you get more points from actually smelling and withstanding more and more disgusting customers. The final boss of the game is a 700 pound woman that has never bathed, and who has developed nearly every possible degenerative skin condition. The game fills your house with something totally unbearable and if you can find her a pair of good shoes after she tries on about twenty or so different ones and tells you about her whole life history, then you get to have an achievement added to your online profile, aptly named the Bundy award, named after Married With Children's Al Bundy, a reputed shoe salesman with class and pinache. Pre-orders start tomorrow and EA expects massive sales on this amazing title, that is loaded with DRM that actually forces customers to perform lude acts with garden utensils for the purpose of cultivating data necessary for visual biometrics to prove the copy of the game is legit. EA denies that anyone who cracks the game will not be able to play, and a spokesperson from EA that shall remain nameless, went on record saying that customers would never play without FOUL hardware because they wouldn't have the benefit of the use of the FOUL hardware, which is revolutionary and next generation by design.

    --
    The dangers of knowledge trigger emotional distress in human beings.
    1. Re:Electronic Asshats by truthsearch · · Score: 4, Funny

      "People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision."

      "Let me explain. It's just like an elevator. There's a 2 ton weight limit on those shoes..."

      "Sure selling shoes is fun. But behind the glamour, it's like any other minimum wage slow death."

      - Al Bundy

    2. Re:Electronic Asshats by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      You, sir, do not belong on Slashdot.

  2. Another helpful hint by joeflies · · Score: 5, Funny

    Statistically you should be able to guess the right letter/number in half the keyspace. But in practice, it will always be the very last character you need to try.

    So take the character that you were going to start with, and take the very opposite character in order to improve your chances of getting the correct entry faster.

    1. Re:Another helpful hint by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      So take the character that you were going to start with, and take the very opposite character in order to improve your chances of getting the correct entry faster.

      What's the "opposite" of seven?

    2. Re:Another helpful hint by Pvt_Ryan · · Score: 2, Funny

      ^^ Sorry that sounds a tad harsh, was meant as a jibe. Insert similies where applicable.

    3. Re:Another helpful hint by Splab · · Score: 4, Funny

      Think the joke went so far over your head it managed to achieve static orbit.

      The point is, even though you mathematically should get the right one in half of the key space, in practice it will always be at the very end - thus if you considered starting at A, reverse and go with Z.

      Of course as we know this wont work since that would mean the key would be at A anyways.

    4. Re:Another helpful hint by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      Rotating the 7 character 180 degrees will give you an L.

    5. Re:Another helpful hint by Enki+X · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, it's L of course... or -7... or Gamma.

      --
      On second thought, let's not go to the internet. 'Tis a silly place.
    6. Re:Another helpful hint by lazynomer · · Score: 5, Funny

      Insert similies where applicable.

      Not sure how that helps. *shrugs* But okay.

      Are you retarded like a braindead gorilla?? Of course it will be the last letter you try.. Why on earth would you keep guessing after you have got the correct character?? Then you would be like a drunken anteater!!

    7. Re:Another helpful hint by autophile · · Score: 5, Funny

      Sorry that sounds a tad harsh, was meant as a jibe. Insert similies where applicable.

      Okay, your post was like lemon juice on a wound.

      --
      Towards the Singularity.
    8. Re:Another helpful hint by SuiteSisterMary · · Score: 2, Funny

      What's the "opposite" of seven?

      Tuvok.

      --
      Vintage computer games and RPG books available. Email me if you're interested.
  3. Bruteforce is... by hierro · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...like violence; if a little doesn't solve the problem, use more.

    1. Re:Bruteforce is... by pak9rabid · · Score: 2, Funny

      ...like violence; if a little doesn't solve the problem, use more.

      Also like a certain tagging language that everyone here loves.

  4. Re:No longer true by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    What if the phone number in the manual is only 9 characters instead of 10?

  5. they don't realize the danger... by binary.bang · · Score: 5, Funny

    now that they've revealed how their copy-protection scheme works, what's to stop the heinous pirates from using this advanced work around for the rest of the digits? The entire industry will crumble!

  6. i always try to guess at least one key character by tiedyejeremy · · Score: 5, Funny

    It keeps my skillz l33t, yo.

    --
    Anything you say will be held against you. ... "tits"
  7. Re:No longer true by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    What if the phone number in the manual is only 9 characters instead of 10?

    Well, you guess. In this case guessing might be a lot more fun.

    You: "Huh? Only 9 digits...let's try lucky 7 for the last number."
    Phone: *ring*
    Phone: "Helllloooo. You've reached the HOT line, where sexy women are waiting to hear from you. Please press 1 nowwww...."

  8. Re:Circumvention? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    To circumvent entirely, simply repeat the guessing procedure with characters 1 to 19.

  9. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 4, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  10. Re:No longer true by icepick72 · · Score: 2, Funny

    By clerical error the Contact Us link and page 28 of your manual are also missing.

  11. HOT sexy women by Sparr0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    They would probably be more helpful...

    1. Re:HOT sexy women by Hinhule · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, their job is all about service mind.

    2. Re:HOT sexy women by Hydrian · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Sorry sir, this is not not a domination and submissive line. We do not do Command & Conquer"

      --
      No good deed goes unpunished.
  12. Re:No longer true by Bandman · · Score: 3, Funny

    warfail?

  13. Re:No longer true by theaveng · · Score: 5, Funny

    >>>EA will learn, someday

    I'm sure they will eventually stop using DRM, but corporations are a lot like women. Reluctant.

    At first.

    --
    FOX NEWS.com should be BANNED from television and internet. Have the Congress take it over and give us Truespeak.
  14. It's a Feature! by kpainter · · Score: 3, Funny

    You get to play this COOL bonus quest before you can play the game. Neat, huh!? It's a feature! Pretty soon, all the game manufacturers will be doing it.

  15. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 3, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  16. Robo-DRM by Grashnak · · Score: 2, Funny

    ED-209: [menacingly] Please guess the last number of the CD Key.You have 20 seconds to comply.

    ED-209: You now have 15 seconds to comply. ...

    --
    Life needs more saving throws.
  17. Re:No longer true by theaveng · · Score: 2, Funny

    >>>Falco, is that you?

    No.

    --
    FOX NEWS.com should be BANNED from television and internet. Have the Congress take it over and give us Truespeak.
  18. Re:Eh, the game sucked by ultranova · · Score: 2, Funny

    Finnished soviet

    Red Alert: Winter War ?-)

    --

    Forget magic. Any technology distinguishable from divine power is insufficiently advanced.

  19. Re:No longer true by d0n0vAn · · Score: 5, Funny

    What if I paid with only the first 15 digits of my credit card?

  20. Re:Follow up Question by Theoboley · · Score: 3, Funny

    You press another random number in there and hope you don't get the goatse hotline.

    --
    Stupidity only gets you so far, then you've gotta try
  21. Re:Circumvention? by swillden · · Score: 3, Funny

    That was my thought as well...guessing one digit is OK, but guessing all nineteen is a brute force attack? How many digits can I guess before I am in violation of the DMCA?

    Feel free to guess them all. Failure to circumvent copy protection is perfectly legal.

    --
    Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  22. OTOH by jonaskoelker · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe they're into Redtube Alert?

  23. Here's a neat idea by jonaskoelker · · Score: 3, Funny

    Here's an idea: have a steamy hot sexy female voice say, to those who aren't allowed X-rated content,

    For X-rated content, dial back with your credit card

    and continue the call as normally.

    On the other hand, I must admit that I do like the idea of gnawing on melons while my new greasemonkey friend works on my gear shift while oiling up before taking a joyride. Nothing like fresh fruit when you're fixing cars with friends.

    I must confess, though, that I've always wondered why women are so impressed with my ABS and the size of my drive shaft :-?

  24. Re:Circumvention? by raehl · · Score: 4, Funny

    UHV2 MCHT IMON YURH NDS