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LHC Forces Bookmaker To Lower Odds On the Existence of God
A UK bookmaker has lowered the odds on proving that god exists to just 4-1 to coincide with the switching on of the Large Hadron Collider. The chance that physicists might discover the elusive sub-atomic object called the "God particle" has forced the odds lower. Initially the odds that proof would be found of God's existence were 20-1, and they lengthened to 33-1 when the multi-billion pound atom smasher was shut down temporarily because of a magnetic failure. A spokesman for Paddy Power said, "The atheists' planned advertising campaign seems to have renewed the debate in pubs and around office water-coolers as to whether there is a God and we've seen some of that being transferred into bets. However we advise anyone still not sure of God's existence to maybe hedge their bets for now, just in case." He added that confirmation of God's existence would have to be verified by scientists and given by an independent authority before any payouts were made. Everyone getting a payout is encouraged to tithe at least ten percent.
Scientists being required as part of the proof to earn the payout that God exists? Damn, bookies sure do know how to make it a safe bet.
Surely God would be something a bit bigger than a particle.
You are clearly confused. As per recent scientific theory God is a being comprised entirely of Higgs Boson, though his corporeal manifestations often are comprised of starch, marinara, and meat. If the Higgs Boson can be proven, then we may finally be able to start studying the ability of this "God Particle" to transmogrify into an Italian dish comprised of noodles, tomato sauce, and beef.
Would the anti-higgs boson be the Devil Particle?
Nonsense. Most of the members here have never seen any evidence of real, live females, yet they believe in them through faith alone. You know what they say - everyone needs something to believe in :)
The over/under on the Higgs boson's mass is +147 GeV.
To be fair we can using genetics/biology, a vast array of history, logic and obviously quantum physics to prove with a high degree of accuracy that women do in fact exist. And rest easy, no theoretical math was used at all (that stuff keeps me up at night ... i shouldnt be on at 4am but i had a nightmare about number theory).
No, it's not faith, we have pictures! :-) Lots of pictures. Mmmm boobies.
Why are you on /. honestly? Blind faith is the antithesis of being a nerd. Aside from trolling is there any purpose at all for you to be here?
You don't participate in many of the programming threads, do you?
Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. The argument goes something like this:
"I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves that you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. Q.E.D."
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
"Oh, that was easy," says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.
Scientist 1: Turn on the LHC!
* Click... Whirrrrr *
Scientist 2: It's on
* Foooooooom! *
Scientist 1: What the? God?!
God: Yes, it is I
Scientist 1: But, what are you doing here?
God: I'm here to collect my winnings. I put down a $1m with Paddy Power that I don't exist.
Scientist 2: So you made $4m?
God: No, I've made $33m because I placed my wager when they lengthened the odds.
Both Scientists: Wow!
God: Yes, that's why I'm God.
Summation 2