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How To Cut In Line and Not Get Caught
ewenc writes "A psychology study of hundreds of people waiting for front-row access to U2 concerts points to the best ways to cut in line and not get caught. 'Super-fans' are most irked by queue-jumpers. People were equally peeved whether someone cut in front or behind, and cutters who jumped beside a friend were less likely to attract scorn."
Preventing people like acting like pricks? Someone has to design the crowd control system, you know.
Oh great!
Now science is coming to the aid of line-cutters everywhere.. Though I'm usually not the type of person willing to wait in line for hours (regardless of the reason), seeing someone cutting into a line (however short it may be) really pisses me off.
It's one of those tell-tale things about a person's character. It implies, at the least, that the line-cutter lacks civility, or simply couldn't care less for "social norms". At the most, it's a sign of someone who simply thinks the "rules" do not apply to them, and everything that can get them ahead is fair game. In the latter case, it's also often accompanied with smugness: "stupid idiots waiting in line."
Sure, cutting a line is by no means a serious offense. And in most cases these lines are purely informal, so one could make the argument that cutting the line is a simple display of expedience, and that no rules have been broken.. But seeing as though many of society's rules are entirely unwritten (and often unspoken), such attitude is disruptive to say the least. Not trying to spread FUD here, but it's the kind of thing that when widespread, brings nothing but chaos into even the most simple of things.
Suppose you're standing in line, and suddenly a whole line of people just slides into place right next to your line - at least as long as your line, in parallel, and apparently planning to enter into the venue in parallel.
Do you object? Do you assume that a second line has been "officially" been opened and you just missed out?
What if the new line of people has a lot more people than your line, and they start looking over at your line and saying "Hey - get to the back of the line! No cutting!" Does a fight break out - even if your line is obviously going to lose?
For full study results, see this month's Journal of American Douchebag Studies.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
is to pretend you're doing a study on line cutting, and interview someone near the front just as they start letting people in. Then release an actual study to prevent reprisals. Then profit?
Basic research doesn't always have immediate applications. Studying the psychology and sociology of lines is a hot topic among retailers though. How do you get people to line up like cattle and still have them feel like they're being treated reasonably well, and fairly? At least well enough that they come back. How does our society react to cheaters? The answer determines how many (and what kind) of cheaters will tend to exist. Are there differences between cultures or does our sense of fairness have some component that is innate to all humans?
Everyone knows there are a few ways to cut a line that work every time:
1) be in a wheelchair,
2) be carrying a screaming baby,
3) have "credentials" of some kind.
So if you have a press pass and a screaming baby and you're in a wheelchair, in theory you should be able to cut the restroom line in the last game of the world series, Boston at NYY, wearing a Boston hat, without getting a second look.
stuff |
Given the history of concentration camps, I'm not so sure I'd be all that eager to get in any line at all, let alone cut towards the front.
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Oddly enough, when I read the title "How To Cut In Line and Not Get Caught", the first thing I thought was, "Does it involve explosions?".
The best way to cut in line without getting caught is to create a diversion, though I'll admit that explosions around a large crowd are probably not a good idea.... Controlled pyrotechnics, might do it, however, e.g. smoke bombs and/or carefully planted sparklers to make it look like an overhead electrical line is about to drop onto the crowd. A bunch of growling, barking dogs being chased down the street by their handlers might also do the trick. Other possibilities include a live bear, a cat fight between two hired actresses, or an alien spacecraft landing nearby... until somebody invents the SEP field, that is.
Of course, an ideal plan would include all of the above simultaneously. Sadly, if someone has time to plan such an elaborate diversion, he/she probably has time to get in line earlier, and as such, everything in this post is a terrible idea. Remember, kids, don't try this at home....
Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.
Murder everyone else in line.
You may get caught for the murders, but no one will ever know you cut in line.
The enemies of Democracy are
When I was at school there was an implicit code among students in which you could let all your friends get in the line AS LONG AS IT WAS IN FRONT OF YOU. Teachers couldn't understand how every student was fine with that, but since everyone accepted it and everyone benefited from it from time to time nobody ever complained.
Generally, I have more important things to care about than if I have to wait an extra minute and a half because 3 people just got in front of me.
Agreed.
How do you feel if its already been an hour, the line up is half way around the block, and people at the back will take an hour just to reach the position you are at now; and there is probably 50+ people and another half our so to wait in front of you.
And then over that period, half a dozen groups of 5+ show up and join their various friends in front of you (we're talking couples meeting other couples, or groups of friends meeting other groups of friends -- not a boyfriend joining his wife, or the driver joining his group after parking here. This effectively adds another 30 people in front of you, pushing you back another 30 minutes, while speeding them up about an hour and a half.
It gets ridiculous, and infuriating.
I remember when the Wii and PS3 were selling out at launch and people were lining up. Some stores instituted one of the best trends I've ever seen to defeat this, and some lines even SELF ORGANIZED into doing this; they had someone give out numbers to the people as they arrived. One person got one number. (And they were limiting it to one unit per customer.) So if a group sends someone over to line up a 1am, and then his 5 friends showed up at 5 minutes to opening, they couldn't effectively cut in and score a Wii or PS3 while guys that had been there for hours lost out entirely.
no application, they just cut in line when the gov was handing out research grants
Best queue jumping story so far.
I was at Disneyland a couple of weeks ago and a woman was pushing through people in the Pirates line with her ~4 year old son. We let her go by because it looked like they were rejoining someone up front. Then we heard the woman say to a group in front of us, "Sorry, he doesn't know how to wait". Well, how the hell is he going to learn?
The article references "line Nazis" who mark everyone's hand with their position in line.
Obviously, you write a "1" on your hand, walk to the front of the line, then walk back along the line counting people. 30 peole back, you write "31" on someone's hand, hand them a marker and tell them to work their way backwards while you work your way forwards. You get to the front of the line, write "2" on the first guy's hand, nod with satisfaction at a job well done, and turn to face front.
If anyone objects, you just show them your hand...
It might look like I'm writing a reply to this post, but actually I'm just trying to get as close to the top of the page as possible.
Cuting in line a problem? Ha! In South America we don't have such problem, as there aren't any lines. We replace a long period of diciplined standing time with a short period of mayhem until you get through the gate.
Hey somebody cut!
Anyone who thinks this research is about learning how to cut in line needs to read the article. This is about what kinds of line-cutting annoys other line-goers the most.
Another way to look at this is as disturbing a stable system to learn about it. People line up in queues everywhere, and do it without even thinking. This generates several interesting questions: Why? (is it a learned action?) What causes people to dislike it when people cut?(from individual standpoints, someone cutting in line behind you doesn't affect you at all) Why do some people cut in line, and others wait in line? By watching what happens when these lines get undermined, you can learn a bit about why they're created, as well as the respective thought processes.
The point of the research is to try to understand the whole queueing process, not to learn how to be a dick.
Just because you had government sponsored dickery training and license at one time does not make it right.
It just makes your dickery portfolio thicker with dickery experience unavailable to the average "civilian" dick.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
I have always found that the best way is to carry two cups of coffee, looking for someone near the front of the line who looks like they could use a cup (helps if it is cold out), offer them the second cup, strike up a brief conversation and slide through.
And I'm jumping in beside a friend. It's less likely to attract scorn.
When I was in Spain I noticed that the Spanish don't know how to form lines. It drives the Brits nuts. Spaniards kind of flock, which completely disturbs the nice orderly line that the British want to form.