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Scientists Discover Proteins Controlling Evolution

Posted by samzenpus on from the let-the-flamewar-begin dept.

Khemisty writes "Evolutionary changes are supposed to take place gradually and randomly, under pressure from natural selection. But a team of Princeton scientists investigating a group of proteins that help cells burn energy stumbled across evidence that this is not how evolution works. In fact, their discovery could revolutionize the way we understand evolutionary processes. They have evidence that organisms actually have the ability to control their own evolution."

23 of 436 comments (clear)

  1. So here's the question ... by ScrewMaster · · Score: 5, Funny

    can the human race auto-evolve itself larger penises?

    --
    The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
    1. Re:So here's the question ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I can see the spam now...

      And for now, only one time deal! You get BIG for LITTLE. Mircale drug for REAL results. Of this you can be. HAh. Hahhh.

    2. Re:So here's the question ... by kandela · · Score: 5, Funny

      The article says the proteins were correcting any imbalance imposed on them through artificial mutations, constantly restoring the chain to working order. If this is true I do not expect to see larger penises as the result. In fact, given the brain-penis balance displayed by your post the proteins should be working to reduce your penis size.

      --
      Conservation of angular momentum makes the world go round.
    3. Re:So here's the question ... by ScrewMaster · · Score: 2, Funny

      The article says the proteins were correcting any imbalance imposed on them through artificial mutations, constantly restoring the chain to working order. If this is true I do not expect to see larger penises as the result. In fact, given the brain-penis balance displayed by your post the proteins should be working to reduce your penis size.

      Ouch.

      --
      The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
    4. Re:So here's the question ... by kandela · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nor even in my children since eggs are all created at a young age.

      If you are looking at increasing your penis size I'm guessing you are male. So I don't see what eggs have to do with it.

      --
      Conservation of angular momentum makes the world go round.
    5. Re:So here's the question ... by adamchou · · Score: 5, Funny

      If the only thing keeping my penis small is a feedback loop

      just a tip, you might want to check the box "Post Anonymously" next time you want to post some damning information about yourself.

    6. Re:So here's the question ... by I7D · · Score: 5, Funny

      'just a tip' is right.

      --
      Neil is that you? Yeah yeah, it's me... Neil...
    7. Re:So here's the question ... by Justabit · · Score: 2, Funny

      The classic joke goes..

      The man gets a call from a telemarketer promising to make his penis up to 9 iches using their revolutionary new technique.

      so he says "I don't care how good your technique is, your not removing 3 inches from MY penis"! *crickets*

      Hello?

      Is this thing on?

      --
      "Persistance is Fertile" - Me. I can quote myself if I want to.
    8. Re:So here's the question ... by slashnot007 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Nor even in my children since eggs are all created at a young age.

      If you are looking at increasing your penis size I'm guessing you are male. So I don't see what eggs have to do with it.

      While you may be auto-erotic, I prefer to reproduce using a female partner. Eggs are definitely required.

    9. Re:So here's the question ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Need a mutant large penis for your first born son? >>> Just Click Here

  2. AHA! by naz404 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Intelligent design!!! This proves it! Mice have been behind everything all along!

    --
    http://www.object404.com
    1. Re:AHA! by teh+moges · · Score: 3, Funny

      I can see it now: "New theory proposed that explains evidence on evolution better than old theory. Therefore, evolution is wrong"

    2. Re:AHA! by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 2, Funny

      Intelligent design!!!

      This proves it! Mice have been behind everything all along!

      Narf!

  3. Big duh by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    How else do you think we were able to evolve this far in just 6,000 years? It wasn't that long ago that the only humans were a gullible man and a rib-woman!

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:Big duh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Uhm. Wow.

      Someone with some intelligence, and a rational, even-keeled thought process.

      Who would have thunk it?

  4. Then why the.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    They have evidence that organisms actually have the ability to control their own evolution."

    Then why the hell do I not have a power level over 9,000?

  5. ID by againjj · · Score: 2, Funny

    So, the designer is really just a pile of proteins?

    1. Re:ID by naz404 · · Score: 2, Funny

      AHA!!! Midichlorians!

      --
      http://www.object404.com
  6. Re:I'm still hoping that he was quoted wrong. by holloway · · Score: 4, Funny

    The changes MUST result in a viable individual.

    Exactly, which is why Crocoducks roam our streets, eating bananas dipped in peanut butter made by witches and ergo God is a white guy in white robes with gold piping.

    --
    -Docvert converts MSWord to OpenDocument, clean HTML
  7. First X-Man! by Dutchmaan · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's right folks.. a mutant with the ability to first post!

    Ok, so I still need to master it, but still.

  8. Re:So... by Kell+Bengal · · Score: 2, Funny

    So what you're saying is that we have enough XP to level up?

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  9. Re:I'm still hoping that he was quoted wrong. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Aha! But you forgot one thing, my friend!

    THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

  10. So evolution is evolving. by Msdose · · Score: 2, Funny

    I predict that the next big discovery will be that evolution is evolving is evolving.