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The Shady Business Practices of Classmates.com

Posted by timothy on from the let-her-stalk-you-for-a-change dept.

eldavojohn writes ""Some of your classmates are trying to contact you!" reads one e-mail. Attempts to remove yourself from the mailing list may only result in more mailings from the site of ill repute. Well, Ars Techica brings us news of a suit against Classmates.com. You don't need to look far for anti-classmates.com sentiment spreading like wild fire across the tubes." Good next target: ads that say "you've already won" some expensive toy.

21 of 275 comments (clear)

  1. Damn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Some of your classmates are trying to contact you!"

    Does this mean they aren't? I'll just lay down and cry!

    1. Re:Damn by Andr+T. · · Score: 5, Funny

      My self-esteem has been low since I received an e-mail saying a hot girl would send me pics and all I got was a computer trojan.

      --

      Any life is made up of a single moment, the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is.

    2. Re:Damn by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Tom? Is that you? We've been looking for you over on Classmates!

      Well, okay, not really. But does it make you feel any better?

      --
      My blog
    3. Re:Damn by beadfulthings · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't worry. They (the classmates) probably just want to collect the money you owed them when you finished school.

      --
      "Here's what's happening. You're starting to drive like your Dad..." - Red Green
    4. Re:Damn by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I got the same message and I was home schooled.....and an only child.

    5. Re:Damn by Sentry21 · · Score: 3, Funny

      You have to open the trojan to see the pics! Duh!

  2. Re:Why use that? by Onaga · · Score: 5, Funny

    Because they don't care about you. They are looking for the 10 year old alumni from psychology browsing some employment site for the 3000th time that gets a big ad in her face talking about classmates. She hopes to reunite with her undergrad sweetheart hoping he's made something of his life and will take her out of her life of futility.

    Well, no, bitch. I'm through with you. Mark might have been better looking and knew how to talk and stuff being a communications major, but who's laughing now? Me! Hah! hahahaha...

  3. classmates service that people would pay for by jollyreaper · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Which one of your former classmates is doing hardcore pr0n now? Find out!"

    Reminds me of that 4chan motivational poster, I think they called it "expectations," showing the yearbook photo of a girl and her "what I want to be when I grow up" quote with a close-up of her a few years later taking a facial on some gonzo pr0n shoot. Funny in a "yikes, not really" sort of way.

    --
    Kwisatz Haderach
    Sell the spice to CHOAM
    This Mahdi took Shaddam's Throne
    1. Re:classmates service that people would pay for by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I laughed at your post, then thought, "you know, I really would pay for that."

  4. on the other hand... by conspirator57 · · Score: 5, Funny

    i still owe three or four of them money...

    classmates.com aren't a collection agency for them...

    guess it's not that bad.

    --
    "If still these truths be held to be
    Self evident."
    -Edna St. Vincent Millay
    1. Re:on the other hand... by conspirator57 · · Score: 2, Funny

      "Oh, snap."

      Hope that was the saying, not the sound of Vinnie breaking your leg.

      --
      "If still these truths be held to be
      Self evident."
      -Edna St. Vincent Millay
  5. Re:Why use that? by morgan_greywolf · · Score: 5, Funny

    You're not bitter at all are you?

    --
    My blog
  6. Re:Why use that? by genner · · Score: 2, Funny

    That's true for MySpace, but not for Facebook. Sounds like you're basing your opinion on Facebook on MySpace.

    Go check out Facebook. You might be surprised. Virtually everyone I know with a computer uses Facebook - more than half of my friends on FB are over 25.

    Agreed facebook is laregly poney free.

  7. Re:Social networking, web 2.0 - all crap. by RobinH · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ok sir, I'll get off your lawn.

    --
    "I have never let my schooling interfere with my education." - Mark Twain
  8. Re:Social networking, web 2.0 - all crap. by Reality+Master+101 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Wow, you have contact information on every person you've ever met in your life?

    I congratulate you, sir, on your extensive record keeping.

    --
    Sometimes it's best to just let stupid people be stupid.
  9. Re:Never got anything from them by dgatwood · · Score: 5, Funny

    Or worse....

    You've already won!(tm)

    And then in the fine print:

    Note: "You've already won!" is a trademark of [insert company name here] and is not meant to state or imply that the reader has, in fact, won anything. More to the point, the mere fact that you clicked on this guarantees that you cannot possibly have won because you are a loser.

    --

    Check out my sci-fi/humor trilogy at PatriotsBooks.

  10. Thank God by kenp2002 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thank God I was universally hated, loathed, ridiculed, and mocked in High School for my interest in history (WWII, Pacific Theater) and computer science. Anyone from classmates.com trying to reach me is either:

    A: Trying to kill me because I stole their girlfriend after college because I actually had a decent paying job.

    B: Trying to kill me because I ended up as their boss and fired them for showing up to work drunk after I stole their girlfriend.

    C: An ex-girlfriend planning to sue me for emotional damages after they found out I in fact did a piss-poor job writing thier final paper.

    D: A former classmate who is going through a mid-life crisis and is desparately trying to reach a former classmate in hopes thier life turned out worse then their own.

    E: A former classmate named Robert who now is named Donna and want's to meet

    F: A former classmate that needs help hiding a body in a New Mexico desert.

    G: A former girlfriend who was in band class who's boyfriend turned out to be a sexual predator and needs someone to talk to...

    H: A former classmate I owe money too!

    --
    -=[ Who Is John Galt? ]=-
  11. Insensitive Clod by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Which one of your former classmates is doing hardcore pr0n now? Find out!"

    Dude, I'm nearly 50. Just, no. Ick. Really didn't need to think that.

  12. Re:Already illegal by daremonai · · Score: 5, Funny
    There is one very memorable user picture that I have seen "in my area" as I surf from hotels all over the eastern half of the country, every time she is in my city.

    Dude, she's following you! Either get her phone number, or get a restraining order.

  13. Re:Why use that? by Red+Flayer · · Score: 3, Funny

    Close....the real formula is Facebook/Myspace=GeoCities/AngelFire

    Fatal error: divide by zero.

    The real formula is Facebook/|ln(Myspace)| == something somewhat useful over an absolute log of shit.

    --
    "Trolls they were, but filled with the evil will of their master: a fell race..." -- J.R.R. Tolkien on Olog-hai
  14. Re:Already illegal by AmberBlackCat · · Score: 3, Funny

    You can have even more fun if you get both...