Slashdot Mirror
Sleep Mailing
Doctors have reported the first case of someone using the internet while asleep, when a sleeping woman sent emails to people asking them over for drinks and caviar. The 44-year-old woman found out what she had done after a would be guest phoned her about it the next day. While asleep the woman turned on her computer, logged on by typing her username and password then composed and sent three emails. Each mail was in a random mix of upper and lower cases, unformatted and written in strange language. One read: "Come tomorrow and sort this hell hole out. Dinner and drinks, 4.pm,. Bring wine and caviar only." Another said simply, "What the......." If I had known that researchers were interested in unformatted, rambling email I would have let them read my inbox. They could start a whole new school of medicine.
Look lady, I show up to your house with wine and caviar and you make up some lame excuse about "sleep emailing". If you didn't want the second date, you should have just said so! I'm a Slashdotter, I'm used to rejection, there's no need to lead me on and come up with lame excuses at the last minute.
Yeah, I see the solution so clearly now, Was trying to solve this riddle for years.
'Cheating on your husband' is to 'virgin birth'
as 'drunken emailing' is to 'sleep mailing'.
SOLVED!
There's nothing Intelligent about Intelligent Design.
http://xkcd.com/269/
iN SovIET RUsia, U must BE New OVERlordS, PROFit1!
"I only speak the truth"
Karma: null(Mostly affected by an unassigned variable)
'Jumping the shark' has jumped the shark.
Why is this filtering into my regular slashdot now?
The second case of someone using the internet while asleep?
...it's a slippery slope to "sleep procrastination"
Back in 2000 when I was trying to find a job before college ended, I got up, logged into my Linux box, sudo'ed to root and changed the root password -- to this day, I have no idea what I reset that sucker to.
In 2002 when I was (rightly) worried I was about to be laid off, I crawled into our closet, started tossing my wife's shows out and screaming about needing to rewire to stop my idiot users. I have no idea.
Anyhow, based on the few times I've woken up during this, it's like I'm acting in a way that makes perfect sense but obviously does not -- I'm operating from a completely made-up set of rules for my reality.
Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
Actually, she's not lying to you. What many slashdotters fail to realise is that their boring effect on women also spreads back in time. So not only can we put women to sleep; we can put them to sleep right back to when they first contacted us.
You'll get over it.
Warmest regards,
Jeff Bates
I used to take Ambien, but was lucky enough to not have any of those things happen to me while I was sleeping. I did however suffer another side effect, Sexsomnia. Not a bad way to wake up, having sex with someone, but after a few times my girlfriend just starting slapping me in the face to wake me up.
Also, none of my friends seemed to want to go camping with me.
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
Come in tomorrow and sort this godawful Web 2.0 hell hole out.
Bring wine and caviar only.
Sincerly yours
Cmdr. Taco
"Kill 'em all and let Root sort 'em out"
You need to get out of your parents basement, nerd. If you ever get a life you will learn that there is more to life then programming and science stories. I for one would be happy to see a more normal audience around here, and this kind of story helps to draw these people in.
Explain how the present interface is a "godawful Web 2.0 mess."
Limina.Log
Gmail's "Mail Goggles" feature is starting to sound more and more useful...
I'm always positive; it's my nature.
Back in 2005 I entered Nanowrimo: National Novel Writing Month. You have to write a 50,000 short novel in the month of November. That's a lot of writing. It took me about two hours per day, every day, and as I suck at scheduling this meant I ended up doing it late at night instead of sleeping.
The result was that I would occasionally fall asleep at the keyboard. And keep writing. Some of it was gibberish:
Some of it made sense, but was just strange:
(No, rock-eating worm creatures did not feature anywhere in the story.)
Some of it was my subconscious talking to me:
But I was really pleased with this, which is an entire appropriate nightmare dream sequence that I wrote in my sleep:
(All typos original. This is all first draft stuff, straight from my subconscious!)
Unfortunately the whole thing, a technical fantasy novel, turned out to have pretty major plot flaws in it which I never got round to fixing. But if I ever end up finishing it, that last passage is definitely going in.
Explain how the present interface is a "godawful Web 2.0 mess."
You have eyes don't you?
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better." - Unknown
Yeah, I'm seriously considering creating a mashup website that just interfaces with slashdot, and then cleans up the interface. Idle will not exist at all. Attempting to manipulate the url to goto idle, will result in the user's death, or possibly a just redirect them to digg, which ever is not considered a felony in more places.
Well.. maybe. Or Maybe not. But Definitely not sort of.
Wine32 or wine64? And which size Caviar? Caviar Green, Black, Blue, RE3...?
Come on man, this is a tech website. Or at least it used to be. You could at least sleep-post a bit more precisely.
USE HOT GRITS WITH STATUE OF NATALIE PORTMAN (NAKED AND PETRIFIED)
In Soviet Russia the shark jumps /.
[signature]
I don't think IE users get the Godawful Web 2.0 Interface(tm). At least, I've never seen it (though the change to the comments page sucks goatse).
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
Where is the evil bit in all of this?