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Microsoft Invents $1.15/Hour Homework Fee For Kids
theodp writes "Microsoft's vision of your computing future is on display in its just-published patent application for the Metered Pay-As-You-Go Computing Experience. The plan, as Microsoft explains it, involves charging students $1.15 an hour to do their homework, making an Office bundle available for $1/hour, and billing gamers $1.25 for each hour of fun. In addition to your PC, Microsoft also discloses plans to bring the chargeback scheme to your cellphone and automobile — GPS, satellite radio, backseat video entertainment system. 'Both users and suppliers benefit from this new business model,' concludes Microsoft, while conceding that 'the supplier can develop a revenue stream business that may actually have higher value than the one-time purchase model currently practiced.' But don't worry kids, that's only if you do more than 52 hours of homework a year!"
MS has announced they will not enter the online porn industry until they can determine a way to charge by the erection - film at eleven.
Said S.Balmer "Things are lookin' up!"
Am I the only one who finds it pretty funny that Microsoft's response to piracy of Office (which, I would guess, is most popular among students) markets their $60 version, repeatedly, as a "steal?"
'Both users and suppliers benefit from this new business model'
Only Microsoft could try to call a business model 'new', when hotels and hookers have used it for centuries.
At least its obvious what they are now
"Teacher I didn't get my assignment done. It was either buy food or rent MS Word for three hours, and I didn't want to starve."
and billing gamers $1.25 for each hour of fun
As long as they only bill you while you're actually having fun, I'd imagine that this would be a good deal for many of today's games.
They have some moxie, don't they?
I guess this would be successful, but it pretty much guarantees that all of your customers will hate you, even as they pay you. So really, it's a horizontal move for Microsoft.
As long as computing is as desperately cheap as it is, with $300 computers and free office suites, it's hard to see how they could make this work as a business model.
Don't blame me, I voted for Baltar.
What's in it for the consumer?
Do you supply a top-of-the-line PC and internet connection for us gamers? It might be worth it then, provided we don't game too much.
Do you supply a flexible, strong, compatible laptop for the school crowd? It might be worth it then, provided you don't provide incentives to universities or schools to dump more homework on the poor students.
What about the in-car entertainment system? Cell phones?
If I'm buying the equipment, I'm not going to pay monthly for something I currently get for free. The consumers, even the dumb ones, will be looking for alternatives. If no better alternatives exist, they'll be created.
In short, I hope Microsoft does launch this nice program, hopefully with the backing of the law, and other absurd things so we can watch the anvil break the camel's back.
Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
"The plan, as Microsoft explains it, involves charging students $1.15 an hour to do their homework, making an Office bundle available for $1/hour, and billing gamers $1.25 for each hour of fun. In addition to your PC, Microsoft also discloses plans to bring the chargeback scheme to your cellphone and automobile..."
And ads - don't forget ads...lots and lots and lots of ads.
Seriously, when is MS going to get off the same old profit-stump? Is there no one inside that company that can imagine fresh ways to make money besides licensing? Will MS ever come out of the ice age they fostered and find something to sell that the world actually looks forward to paying for?
Despite what MS would wish, software isn't a utility product that spins a meter at the sidewalk. It isn't a consumable that requires a refill after every trip to the coast. It isn't a treat that changes flavor every month according to some designer whim.
Software is part of a process. A process that can be solved by many means and anyone willing to devote the time. It doesn't come out of a strip mine in the Congo...market it according to the market, not to your desire to fill coffers and it will make money - I promise.
The user jacks his credit card into our system.
We store user input.
We process user input.
We output processed data back to the user.
We suck money out of the user's credit card account.
Behold the cloud!
Hmm. On the other hand, I just shelled out several hundred dollars for Adobe Illustrator, a program I need only for a few hours a year (but when I need it, I REALLY need it). If I had the option to pay an hourly rate OR purchase it outright, I'd have chosen the metering. Actually, a lot of apps are the same for me - including all of Microsoft Office. I use alternative word processors, spreadsheets, and presentation packages (or just do it in my text editor / LaTeX), but every now and then I do need to use Word or Excel.
Again, given that there will be alternatives that are not metered, a pay-for-use model for some of these monolithic, massively-priced apps might not be a bad thing.
Oh Goodie. My post has become the "important" one that other people latch onto with non-germaine observations in the hope that they'll get higher placement.
Don't blame me, I voted for Baltar.
How about if your net connection goes down or the business model flops? Same thing as "Plays For Sure"? They close up shop and leave you high and dry? Maybe you need to format your computer and it comes back telling you to take a hike or you need to use it for a couple mins on your laptop but since it doesn't have the TPM chip it won't go? This will only work if everyone who uses it has some sort of "Trusted Computing" software / hardware combo and by agreeing to install that what else are you agreeing to?
Just food for thought.
A loop, by its nature, continues. If that didn't make sense, start reading this sentence again.
This whole summary is a troll. Technology businesses file many patents every year that they'll never implement. Patents are like munitions. You stockpile them in case you need to go to war, and to prevent others from attacking you. Balmer's saber rattling about Linux infringing on multiple Microsoft patents is the perfect example of this. (Though it's an example of the more sinister uses of patents).
AccountKiller
I just hope I dont forget to shut down or leave my computer on...overnight. Or over the weekend. This quickly adds up to the cost of just going out to buy the software today. I guess thats what they mean by 'the supplier can develop a revenue stream business that may actually have higher value than the one-time purchase model currently practiced.'
Excellent point. Unless MS isn't charging for the time in-between keystrokes. In which case their pricing scheme might be worth it. =)
Which reminds me of something. I've closed Word on my work machine before when I've had a document open on a USB stick. Then try to USB eject the stick and it won't go. Go into task manager and see that some word-ish program still has an open handle on it.
Run task manager, kill the exe, and I can eject the USB drive. No real problem but it raises a question: What if this stray process was billing me?
Weaselmancer
rediculous.