Slashdot Mirror
Layoffs at Microsoft, Intel, and IBM
Normally I try to avoid posting straight business news, but I think that these 3 stories combine to something meaningful.
Muleguy noted Microsoft is laying off 5,000,
Mspangler reports that
Intel is cutting 5-6k, while
nonyabidness afraid4myjob submitted that IBM Layoffs have begun with no number, but estimates as high as 16,000.
There's 5,000 new empty chairs to fling around in Redmond!
"Skill shows through where genius wears thin." -Wittgenstein || Religion: uniting aviation and architecture.
SKID ROW, Redmond, Friday - Microsoft Corporation has enacted swingeing layoffs in mid-January after the failure of its stock buyback program, and has called for a government bailout in the face of the credit crunch.
"Vastly popular operating systems like Vista just aren't selling," said marketing marketer emeritus Bill Gates, "and it's all because people aren't confident to spend their money. In fact, they didn't start buying it in 2007 because they were expecting this even then. A subsidy to buy good, honest American computer operating systems is essential to the health of the economy, or my part of it."
Should the Big One of American virtual office supplies fail, economists predict that it could free up millions of dollars in business spending and provide a devastating boost to an economy reeling from the impact of the credit crunch.
Hiring in most Microsoft divisions has frozen in the last six months and 30GB Zunes are already on suicide watch. "The workload's impossible to keep up with," said blog technical evangelist Gary M. Stewart. "I've even been answering Slashdot comments on Boycott Novell or Groklaw. It's impossible to keep track of! Anyway, you're just another Twitter sockpuppet. Or Mini-Microsoft. Admit it."
Additional bailouts have been hooked on the bill as riders for HD-DVD, eight-track cartridges, 78rpm gramophones and Babbage analytical engine gear manufacturers.
Senators have stated they will only bail the company out with a change in top management. "What the shit," said Linus Torvalds as his draft notice arrived.
http://rocknerd.co.uk
I work for a newspaper company. My department has lost almost 70% of it's staff in the last 3 years.
Well, with apostrophe errors like that, it's no surprise to me!
I had but a simple dream, to destroy all humans.
I know somebody who works at IBM. They work on a project that supports HR department's requirements when they are doing big layoffs.
In a kafkaesque sort of way, they have job security just so long as things suck and there are additional layoffs coming down the pipeline.
If libertarians are so opposed to effective government, why don't they all move to Somalia?
Everything that is old is new again, including the classic IBM joke:
Two lions escape from the zoo. They decide to split up and meet back in two months to see how the other is doing.
Two months later, one lion is scrawny and beat up, the other is fat and happy. The scrawny beat up lion says, "I went to the park and started eating children. The police and national guard came after me and I haven't stopped running since. How are you so well fed?"
The second lion replies, "Easy! I Just hid outside the IBM office and ate a manager every day. Nobody even noticed!"
blah blah blah