Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Pirate Bay Day 3 — Defense Requests Dismissal

Posted by samzenpus on from the ninja-lawyers dept.

Hodejo1 writes "Yesterday was a big day for the Pirate Bay when half of the charges against them were dropped leaving only the lesser charges of assisting making copyrighted material available in place. TorrentFreak is following the English twitter feed of the trial in the wee hours of the night, documenting more missteps by the prosecution. 'The Pirate Bay trial is moving forward rapidly and again the day in court has ended early. On the third day the prosecution presented the amended charges. The defendants all called for acquittal while Carl Lundström's lawyer scored points with the already legendary "King Kong" defense.'"

23 of 685 comments (clear)

  1. King Kong Defence? by spankyofoz · · Score: 5, Funny

    Tell me about the King Kong defence. Please compare and contrast it to the Chewbacca defence, to provide an adequate frame of reference.

    --

    - There is no point, it's like a sphere -
    1. Re:King Kong Defence? by Mad+Merlin · · Score: 4, Funny

      What, no car analogy?

      --
      Game! - Where the stick is mightier than the sword!
    2. Re:King Kong Defence? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      LOL...

      "Newspapers immediately pointed out how the term already had acquired its own article on Wikipedia.[2][4]"

      So it must be notable.

    3. Re:King Kong Defence? by RuBLed · · Score: 5, Funny

      Per E. Samuelson
      Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, RIAA's attorney would certainly want you to believe that my client is assisting in these copyright infringement activities. And they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself! But, ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is KingKong. KingKong is a big gorilla who shares file from Cambodia. But KingKong lives on the fictional Skull Island with ninjas. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

      RIAA Attorney
      Damn it!

      RIAA Exec
      What?

      RIAA Attorney
      He's using the KingKong defense!

      Per E. Samuelson
      Why would a gorilla, a several stories tall Gorilla, want to live on Cambodia and fileshare from there, with a bunch of smaller and numerous human beings? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major anti-shipping company, and I'm talkin' about KingKong! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, [approaches and softens] does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If King Kong shares file from Cambodia, you must acquit! The defense rests.

    4. Re:King Kong Defence? by bhtooefr · · Score: 5, Funny

      Metanotability, don't you love it? :P

    5. Re:King Kong Defence? by steelfood · · Score: 4, Funny

      Chewbacca is a Wookie. King Kong is a giant ape. What does a Wookie have to do with a giant ape? Nothing. It doesn't make sense.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      Chewbacca co-pilots the millenium falcon. King Kong was shot down by pilots. What does this have to do with anything? Nothing.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      Chewbacca is 7'4.75 inches tall. King Kong is 50' tall. King Kong can squish Chewbacca with his finger. It doens't make sense.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      Chewbacca can do the Kessel run in 12 parsecs. King Kong can climb the Empire State Building in 2 minutes. This is a travesty.
      Therefore you must acquit.

      Chewbacca has a life debt to Han Solo. King Kong lost his life to protect Ann Darrow. How are they related? It doens't make sense.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      Chewbacca is a minor character in the Star Wars trilogy. There are three movies named after King Kong. This does not make sense.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Chewbacca and King Kong have no relationship. They are both furry and not human, but they are completely unrelated. Ladies and gentlemen, it is for this reason that you must acquit.

      I rest my case.

      --
      "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be."
    6. Re:King Kong Defence? by mysticgoat · · Score: 5, Funny

      No car analogy comes to mind. I can, however, offer a Linux simile:

      The King Kong defense is like when Linus told the New York Times: Really, I'm not out to destroy Microsoft. That will just be a completely unintentional side effect.
      Interview with the New York Times, September, 2003

      Not to put too fine a point on it: TPB's defense is that there has been no intentional collusion or activity linking anyone who has alledgedly infringed a copyright and any of the defendants in this case. So none of the defendants can be guilty of assisting in any of the alledged infringements. I think there is a good telephone analogy: you cannot hold any telephone company employees guilty of assisting someone who has been making obscene phone calls.

      (This is worth repeating whenever possible. Apparently the defense lawyer managed to repeat "King Kong" some 80 times in his presentation. I bet that drove Sony and the prosecutors apeshit.)

    7. Re:King Kong Defence? by TubeSteak · · Score: 3, Funny

      Chewbacca is a minor character in the Star Wars trilogy. There are three movies named after King Kong. This does not make sense.
      Therefore, you must acquit.

      The Prosecution would like to point out that the The Star Wars Holiday Special centered around Chewbacca and like the defendants' guilt, you hoped that the world forget about such a horrible event.
      Because The Star Wars Holiday Special was so bad, you must convict.

      --
      [Fuck Beta]
      o0t!
    8. Re:King Kong Defence? by wrook · · Score: 5, Funny

      OK. I only read half the page. But as far as I can tell, the King Kong defense is this:

      1) Somebody flags your page for deletion
      2) You counter by flagging the page for rescue
      3) Then somebody says that it's current event and may be changing rapidly.
      4) You suggest that the page be merged.

      After that I'm confused (????) because I didn't read any more. But I'm sure the last step is "Profit".

      I'm going to use this defense next time I write something for Wikipedia!

    9. Re:King Kong Defence? by srussia · · Score: 5, Funny

      Except for the fact that Swedish trials does not normally employ jurors.

      Exactly. Why would a lawyer be addressing jurors in Sweden, where there are no juries? It does not make sense! If there is no jury in Swededn, you must acquit! The defense rests.

      --
      Set your phasers on "funky"!
  2. Re:common by pavera · · Score: 5, Funny

    yeah but it sucks when all the *good* charges are thrown out on the first day...

  3. Re:FUCK ARTISTS by overzero · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's our right as human beings to rip off artists and not pay them, and it's totally awesome for Pirate Bay to run a torrent tracker that connects users so that they can distribute file chunks to each other.

    Well, awesomeness is what the courts are ruling on, isn't it? Ever since Brown v. Board of Education was settled with a crocodile-punching contest, there's been a precedent.

  4. Re:What a crock.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The name of the site alone implies it's true purpose.

    Aw c'mon -- pirates are fun and wholesome! Disney! Pirates of the Caribbean! Johnny Depp! Yarrr matey!

  5. Re:if you think it's over... by MrNaz · · Score: 5, Funny

    You mean Chewbacca crap.

    --
    I hate printers.
  6. Re:I hate to say it... by Tr3vin · · Score: 5, Funny

    The good news is that you don't need to fill your car up with entertainment to get to work.

  7. Re:legendary 'King Kong' defense by shutdown+-p+now · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's because this "legendary" defence was first used in this TPB trial...

    Anyway, don't you have Wikipedia set up as your secondary search engine?

  8. Re:legendary 'King Kong' defense by Just+Some+Guy · · Score: 1, Funny

    Because I'm not new here

    Sez you. Get off my lawn.

    --
    Dewey, what part of this looks like authorities should be involved?
  9. Re:Why TPB? I Google! by jaavaaguru · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why Google, iTunes!

    Why pirate stuff when you can support the artist by paying them for their work? What? You don't consider it to be good enough to pay for? Why are you wanting it then?

    --
    Follow me
  10. Re:legendary 'King Kong' defense by perrin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Whose lawn?

    <shotgun action="load" />

  11. Re:if you think it's over... by HungryHobo · · Score: 2, Funny

    And don't forget the makers of the phone book.
    I tried calling them up and complaining about how they listed a number for the drugdealer down the street, thereby facilitating people contacting him and commiting crimes!!!
    They refused to remove his number!

    They are certainly not in innocent in a moral or ethical sense!

  12. Paraphrasing Steven Colbert by Hardtrance · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey, Lundström! Is that an umlaut over your name, or are those your tiny balls?

    --
    This post is LAW where prohibited by VOID. Prosecutors will be violated.
  13. Re:if you think it's over... by IndustrialComplex · · Score: 2, Funny

    The challenge is not to find a google search that returns illegal torrents, but to find a TPB search that doesn't.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, linux, etc, but you have to admit that TPB is primarily about the copyright infringement. Google is not.

    Glad that you proved your own rhetorical statement wrong in your own post.

    Yeah, yeah, I know, not what you were intending, but you have to admit that.

    --
    Out of modpoints but really liked a post? 1BDkF6TtmmeZ3yqXbz9yhdYVqRYnwFoXDj
  14. Re:if you think it's over... by needs2bfree · · Score: 3, Funny

    So we need more file sharing sites to protect us from the other file sharing sites!