How Office Depot Pushes Service Plans On Customers

Harry writes "I was amused, appalled, and angry — yes, all three — when I spotted signs above every register at my local Office Depot with handy scripts for clerks to use in 'recommending' that customers buy extra-cost, extremely profitable protection plans. And now Laptop Magazine has posted an eye-opening investigative report that charges local Office Depot stores with instructing staffers to lie and tell people who want to buy laptops without service plans that they're out of stock." Update: 03/13 00:53 GMT by T : An employee with Office Depot, somewhere in the southeastern US, wrote to respond to this story as a employee of the company, but in his off time and not in any official capacity: "I will only say that what is described in your article and the Laptop Mag article is not something that occurs across the entire company as sanctioned or ordered by the Corporate Higher Ups and is certainly nothing I have experienced as a 10-year employee of the company, we want sales. Yes, we want add-ons, but we will take the sales regardless."

Comments

The More You Read the Uglier It Gets

[eldavojohn]

I've seen these sheets and the further down you read the uglier it gets:

... if the customer somehow still refuses to purchase a warranty plan and can see the SKU on display, assess whether or not you could outrun the customer:

• If YES, grab the company knife from underneath the counter and ask the customer to think of the extended warranty as "protection money."
• If NO and you haven't already seen the victim ... er ... customer's credit card, grab the company camera under the counter and shoot photos as they leave the store. Be sure to get their license plate numbers clearly photographed and submit all photos in a dossier clearly marked "OPEN SEASON" to the Scientology division of Office Depot.

Remember, you're helping them by saving them the loss N years from now when it breaks and they didn't buy an N + 1 year warranty.

Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets

[CokeBear]

New great lie of history: "I'm from (wall street/mortgage broker/bank/investment firm) and I'm here to help."

Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets

[Fred_A]

Circuit City is bankrupt. Apparently this tactic didn't actually keep them competitive.

Obviously they didn't lie enough.

Re:The More You Read the Uglier It Gets

[cayenne8]

"Kind of like the 4th Greatest Lie of History: "Hi. I'm from the Government. I"m here to help."

I know the first two:

The check is in your mouth...

and

I won't cum in your mailbox...

Re:Better Question

[Narnie]

Why would you buy a computer at office depot?

Because you need something with enough mass to make it through the store window when you plan on returning it?

Because you don't feel satisfied with a computer purchase unless you know you've been ripped off?

Because Office Depot is the only place that will extend you credit because you put a months worth of hookers and blow on your creditcard?

Yabbut...

[cptdondo]

Wait till they get a patent on this method!

Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy.

[MrEricSir]

"Sir, I saw you put those CDs in your pants. Are you stealing them?"
"Yes, well I wasn't going to download these, but then I saw your sign..."

Re:Best Buy tried this as well to "fight" piracy.

[MrEricSir]

-wasn't
+was

Guess I should have bought an extended warranty on my original post.

I've got a better script.

[Locke2005]

"Nice little laptop you got here... shame if anything happened to it!"

Re:Here is what I do

[Anonymous Coward]

Or you could try my favorite.

Oh its out of stock? Damn thought you guys had a good service plan too. Guess I will go to insert other store here.

Magically in stock again? At register with item in hand. Service plan? What service plan? I didnt say I wanted one please take it off.

Bait and switch works BOTH ways.

Re:Better Question

[Icarus1919]

Thank god, someone with some information I can use. Where is it, again, that I can put blow on my credit card?

Re:Better Question

[fractoid]

Anywhere you want, but I suggest a discreet location such as your lounge room or kitchen.

Oh... OH. You meant BUY it. Nevermind.

How does that work?

[interkin3tic]

While this is an annoying policy on paper, there are several ways I could see this actually playing out, and none of them really seem to work.

Scenario 1

Customer: "Hi, I want to buy this laptop"
Clerk: "You wanna buy an extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "We don't have any in stock"
Customer: "Uh... then yes I do?"
Clerk: "We just got some in right now!"
Customer: "Then I'll take one without the warranty."
Clerk: "Aw, what a shame, we just sold out."

Scenario 2

Clerk: "Hey, you seem interested in that there laptop, you want to buy one?"
Customer: "Sure."
Clerk: "Extended warranty?"
Customer: "No thanks"
Clerk: "Sorry, I just checked, we're out of stock"
Customer: "But... you didn't go anywhere, you didn't even act like you were looking in the stock room"
Clerk: "Uh... Telepathy!"

Scenario 3:

Customer: "I want this laptop."
Clerk: "You want extend waranty."
Customer: "No"
Clerk: "No computer in stock"
Customer: "Yes you do, this box right here, in my hand, I want to buy it."
Clerk: "Me ring up"
Customer: "Okay here"
(Customer hands computer to Clerk, Clerk smashes the computer with a primitive club)
Clerk: "No computer in stock."

Then again, I haven't worked in retail for a long time, maybe my "Lying to strangers" skills are rusty.

Re:Better Question

[bretticus]

250MB hard disk

In this case, I think I'm going to have to agree with the OP.

Re:Office Despot

[interkin3tic]

I suppose that's one way to think about it. Another is that since those drugs are illegal, they tend to be supplied by large drug-smuggling operations.

I run a mom-and-pop drug smuggling operation, you insensitive clod!