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DHS To Use Body Odor As a Lie Detector
The US Department of Homeland Security is studying lies, damned lies, and smells. They hope to prove that human body odor could be used to tell when people are lying. The department says they are already "conducting experiments in deceptive behavior and collecting human odor samples" and that the research it hopes to fund "will consist primarily of the analysis and study of the human odor samples collected to determine if a deception indicator can be found."
They could be lining this up as the replacement for UAC!
Invaders must die
investigator: Suspect A, did you just fart? ..
suspect A: no!
Linux users have abominable personal hygiene and will overload/confuse the device. What can be done about this? Nothing - becuase it is MS technology and will be properietary, closed source and patented.
Hello, is that an armpit hoover? Or are you just pleased to see me?
I always make an effort to shower or bathe before I have a flight, especially if it is long-haul.
Now, I don't particularly care for the idea of a 'lie-sniffer', as it is just more tin-foil-hattery from leeches who can demand government funding to 'fight teh terrorists'. However, if they keep the guy that is a couple of hundred pounds overweight, and hasn't washed for a week, off the plane - I'll be happy.
Where's the Kaboom?
There's supposed to be an Earth-shattering Kaboom.
After all, it would be nice to be able to say that Office Depot's policy of lying to customers literally STINKS!
So how are they going to calibrate this?
Your Stink-o-Lie-Meter
1. Kid with hand in cookie jar
10. Madoff with hand in cookie jar
66. Used car salesman
666: Bush "They Have WMDs" salesman
2. "No, the dress doesn't make you look fat."
0. "It's not the dress."
9. "It's not the dress, and I ENJOY sleeping on the couch!"
4. It's a bug (it's not a "bug" - it didn't crawl in on its' own volition - fess up and admit you made a mistake).
40. It's a feature.
0. "They're real." (It's none of your business, Jack!)
9. "I didn't forget your birthday."
500. "We have a plan to deal with the current financial crisis" - ANY POLITICIAN - we KNOW you're just making this sh*t up as you go along.
499. "Bankruptcy is not an option." - GM head honcho Ron Wagoner
Since France is about to join NATO (which of course they call OTAN) this could lead to serious diplomatic incidents.
"You, Sir, are a dirty liar! The machine says so!"
"Sale espece de cochon, I have simply had snails in garlic with a bottle of Burgundy for lunch."
From scarped cliff or quarried stone she cries "A thousand types are gone, I care for nothing, no not one."
Time to wash, boys!
... There's the smell they are looking for.
If the government can detect our lies I say it's only fair that we should have use of this tech. To detect theirs!
If such a thing was allowed you can bet that Homeland Security would cut funding to this thing immediately and maybe even send the scientists to an undisclosed location.
How can you doubt our national intelligence agencies when they have "intelligence" right in their name?!?!? I predict this will be their most effective law enforcement and intelligence tool since the U.S. government created the Stargate Project. It's tax dollars well spent!
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
The new fragrance by Calvin Klein.
We already can tell when someone from the government is lying.
Their lips are moving.
I went to a Magic, the Gathering regional tournament. The place was packed with liars! Same goes for the local comic book store, evidently.
I am allergic to every deodorant/antiperspirant I've ever tried that actually worked.
Liar.
everyone will be found to be lying....
"The hands that help are better far than lips that pray." - Robert Ingersoll (1833-1899)
You can check your anatomy all you want, and even though there may be normal variation, when it comes right down to it, this far inside pseudoscience it all looks the same.