Slashdot Mirror
Ballmer Scorns Apple As a $500 Logo
theodp writes "Speaking at a conference in NYC, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer did his best to refan the flames of the Mac vs. PC rivalry: 'Now I think the tide has really turned back the other direction [against Apple],' Ballmer said. 'The economy is helpful. Paying an extra $500 for a computer in this environment — same piece of hardware — paying $500 more to get a logo on it? I think that's a more challenging proposition for the average person than it used to be.'"
I am a homosexual. I bought an Apple computer because of its well earned reputation for being "the" gay computer. Since I have become an Apple owner, I have been exposed to a whole new world of gay friends. It is really a pleasure to meet and compute with other homos such as myself.
I plan on using my new Apple computer as a way to entice and recruit young schoolboys into the homosexual lifestyle; it would be so helpful if you could produce more software which would appeal to young boys. Thanks in advance.
with much gayness,
Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day, S.J.
Thanks for your letter. Being Catholic myself, I know exactly what you're talking about! It has always been our plan here at Apple Computer Inc to revolutionize personal computing with our high-quality and highly gay products.
I'm happy to answer your letter by letting you know that YES we will be releasing an entire hLife ("homo-life") software line. You'll be able to recognize it in stores by the small stylized logo depicting a large cock entering a tight anus with an Apple logo on it. ("Suddenly it all comes together" indeed!).
Anyway, I hope you and other members of our community will join us on our mission, and purchase the exciting new hLife boxed set. Only the boxed set comes with translucent cock rings!
Sincerely,
Harry Rodman
Vice-president
Homosexual Liaison Services
Apple Computer, Inc.
That's because apple software has no value.
Oh, and enjoy your voided warranty while you're at it too.
It's sad that you equate elegance with performance when they've nothing to do with each other. FWIW the Dell is actually upgradable and has about 50 more build options than any mac. Dell also offers something like 10x more models to choose from. So yes, you'll see some cables or unused connectors etc. because you can also get a WWAN card or whatever other fun options you might want.
You can get rich if you own a politician, but you have to be rich to buy one in the first place.
Well. It's the war of the idiots. I will most likely get modded into digital hell, but:
Guess what. the iPhone is a piece of crap. And so is every Windows Mobile phone. Compare them to any current-gen Japanese phone, and they don't stand a chance.
The iPod is a piece of crap. And so is the Zune. Compare them to most other devices in that price range, and they don't stand much of a chance. (Ok, I give credit for the clickwheel.)
Apple is scamming their idiot customers. And so is Microsoft. Apple feeds on the massive strength of their name. Microsoft usually feeds on their monopolistic dominance. In both cases, non-informed customers are crucial for success.
I don't think that on that low level, it matters which one is TEH BESTESTEST!!!11(lim (x->0) (sin x) / x)
I also do not not expect them to behave differently. Looking at their success, this seems to be a very successful method of doing business. And after all, this is what companies are about, aren't they? Because even if it is evil... When they win, it does not matter.
Luckily, I'm so far away from even thinking about those companies and their products, in my Linux safe-house, that I can write this whole post with a smile about all the senseless flaming and fanboyism over nothing. Also, don't take my post too serious. :)
Any sufficiently advanced intelligence is indistinguishable from stupidity.
> The $130 doesn't get you an OS that will run on commodity hardware.
Yes it will, you just have to hack around the DRM a bit and be careful about what hardware you install it on. The second part is no different than when I carefully research a new PC intended to run Linux.
Sorry, Apple can't have it both ways. On the one hand they claim the boxed copies of OS X aren't 'upgrade' copies, that they are full versions when they compare to the outrageous full retail prices for Windows. But as soon as somebody wants to install OS X on commodity hardware and the laughter about Apple's claim to the right to restrict their seperately boxed OS to Apple hardware dies out some Zealot pulls out the "But those boxes are just an upgrade so you aren't just ignoring the EULA you are a pirate." line. Make your minds up once and for all and either put "UPGRADE" on the boxes or shut up when people install em on whatever they want.
Democrat delenda est
I'm the same anon, and of course I have a strong preference for female sleeping company - I'm a lesbian.
and no retarded one-button mouse (touchpad/trackpointer). but on the other hand, I'm not retarded. I want two or three mouse buttons
Cue the superior mac user...
Untold fear, tension, sweat beads. A thousand times almost, but not quite, tapping one of those new fandangled buttons.
Will it explode, what about my warranty, will she divorce me, what will my colleagues say...
So he never actually does the unthinkable, quietly switching it back to single button mode.
And that, my friends, is why there will never be more than one button on a mac...
You can install Vista (or XP/2K) on just about any PC out there, and everything just works(albeit slowly with Vista).
It's a real hassle to do that with OSX. And he's right about the hardware costing loads of extra cash. Maybe for PPC or MIPS or some other exotic, high-performance architecture, but not goddamn garden-variety Intel x86. An evolutionary step in the wrong direction.
Plus, Macs are for homosexuals and self-absorbed bitches.
>>I'm a post graduate student who has not so many bucks (Pounds in my case) lying around, either. But still, because I am a retard, in June as soon as Apple releases their Snow Leopard I will go for a 24 inch iMac.
... Ballmer talks seriously about "threats" or "opponents" that are easily dealt with. That lets him go back later and seem like the hard-fighting conqueror.
But he trash talks and laughs at things that actually make him afraid. It's like the cat whose fur stands on end when it's afraid, to make it look larger. He can't help it.
When he's feeling confident about beating back Apple, he'll talk about how they're worthy competitors who are a threat in this area and have exploited MS's weakness in that area. When he's scared witless, he'll laugh that they're overpriced, they under-deliver, MS has been doing the same thing forever, and it's only a matter of time until Apple sees the error of their ways (and consumers as well, one would guess).
It's Ballmer's way of whistling through the graveyard.
None of your reasons is meaningful because you fail to consider the fact that Micrsoft used anticompetitive practices and developer lock-in to leverage an inferior product into the dominant consumer and enterprise OS.
Wrong. They've used that to *maintain* their dominant position, but they attained it by riding on IBM's name *and* recognizing that the PC market was in sore need of openness and competition, instead of every company building their own little island, as Apple et al had been doing until that point.
What Microsoft has failed to recognize for the past 8 years is that Steve Jobs' Apple Inc. isn't interested in playing that game any more.
Wrong. In fact, Ballmer here is *precisely* poking fun at the fact that Apple isn't interested in going after the mass market and instead has settled in the profitable niche of selling expensive fashion items.
And the rest of your post is just your typical Apple zealot foaming at the mouth for all those companies ripping off Apple's brilliant innovations. Please, stop drinking the kool-aid and see that companies have innovated long before Apple, still innovate with Apple, and shall continue to innovate long after Apple is gone, and it's laughable to imply otherwise. But I'm sure you'll get modded up, eventually, Apple zealots are plentiful around here, and they've got modpoints to spare.
No problem is insoluble in all conceivable circumstances.
You must have been looking at the wrong Dell one then, maybe because you wanted to convince yourself that the MBP wasn't that expensive.
Now I have a macbook. I guess I'm tarded now.
Yup, and gay too. You can't forget gay.
Gosh I wish I was smart and straight so I could use Windows like the manly men.
He would kick your ass so stfu. His job is to crush Apple into dust, not sing Kumbaya with all you commy hippies.
FUD, FUD, FUD. I don't normally respond to obvious troll posts like this, but I simply couldn't let this go....
-- There are no buttons (as you're accustomed to) whatsoever on the Macbook, Mac Air, or Mac Pro. The whole trackpad is clickable, and there are many gestures you can use that (some) find very useful, unique, and innovative. For the vast majority of the time, and I would place it above 99%, you don't require a right-click in Mac OS. Really, the right clicking thing is a carryover from Windows --- it'll pass.
-- Buying a Mac doesn't make you retarded. Going out of your way to discount and post about something you have already made you mind up about not purchasing IS retarded. If you don't want it, don't buy it. But spreading mindless FUD is retarded and doesn't support your arguments because they're just invalid.
-- Want 2-9 buttons on your mouse? Buy a frickin' seperate mouse. I'm using a Logitech 5 button with my iMac right now.
-- I can understand your wish for a higher screen resolution. If that's a requirement, then buy a laptop with 1900x1200 or whatever you need. If it's not a Mac, that's ok!
Have you heard of multi touch? And even the mac mouse has about 4 buttons. Yes it looks like there is only one, but that very deceptive except for the mac users who know better.
My screen is 1920x1200.
Not sure where you got your facts?
The only critic I have on the mac, it is lacking a delete and page up/down keys, the one called delete is a backspace and to get the above function you need to press command.
Nice troll.
You mean like how Linux fanbois are FANATICAL about it, and Windows Fanbois are FANATICAL about it..
Anyone that "LOVES" anything will have the most vocal being fanatics.
Me? I really like OSX and mac hardware. I recommend it to everyone I know that is not an IT expert. My work laptop is Vista, my home has linux. all have their merits. I cant use a mac laptop at work because it will not survive.
As to justifying the increased expense. Oh come on. comparing two IDENTICAL systems and they are very close. typically apple hardware is higher end. Like the Dell business line instead of the dell cheap-crap line. My macbook is far better built than my Dell studio 17. but it's cheap crap compared to my Panasonic toughbook.
So do I have to be fanatical about panasonic because that laptop is $3500.00 more than the same Dell, HP, Lenovo, or sony laptop. And yes it is far better than any of those low grade dog food laptops.
If you cant throw your laptop 25 feet into the bed of a pickup truck without worry of damage, then it's a piece of junk. Oops, I'm being a fanatic.. sorrry.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
And how is life up there on your cloud hovering over your golden palace?
It's all fun and games until a 200' robot dinosaur shows up and trashes Neo-Tokyo... Again
No software is free and spreading that misconception is harmful. ... I along with many others tried Linux during college and I assure you, the claims you make are grossly over-stated and hinge on falsehoods. ... This is a world where Windows runs on virtually every computer and putting on a carnival show for an operating system is not helping ... I am sure if you contacted Microsoft, they would be more than happy to supply you with copies of an older verison of Windows and that way, your computers would actually be of service to those receiving them...
Okay, fanboi, do compare the number of Macs that have been compromised since the first release of OS X, versus the number of PC's compromised since the release of XP, and get back to us.